The Internet has been buzzing with conspiracy theories about the cause of death of Antonin Scalia at a West Texas ranch over the weekend. How could a man just pas away in his sleep they ask, to which we answer, he was a 300 pound man in his late 70's who was not exactly the model of health. First of all, his job entailed him sitting on his ass for the entire day, I have never seen Supreme Court highlights with these guys doing anything but sitting, and in Ruth Bader Ginsberg...napping. Secondly the guy was not exactly the model of health, he must have put on 150 pounds since Reagan had him nominated for the high court.
We are not shocked that there was no autopsy done and that details of his death have been kept hush-hush because the chances of that hotel room having been littered with ciallis, blow and a couple of dead hookers and possibly a cabin boy is fairly high. Either that or the Dems offed by suffocating the fat man with a pillow.
Or maybe he just died in his sleep, succumbing to a life of meatball parm heros and Bloomberg sized cokes.