Monday, May 30, 2016
to tell how pedicured Baby Cavallari with the caption "thankful for the men and women who lost their lives on this lazy #memorialday morning".
And then it hit me...maybe she's the one trolling us
Sunday, May 29, 2016
But you gotta love the patriotism of the guy at today's Pepsi 600 who matches his jorts and America Budweiser can with a back burn in the shape of Old Glory
God Bless the USA
Saturday, May 28, 2016
Surprised he wasn't sporting his Make America Great Again hats
Friday, May 27, 2016
I'll never really understand the joy of boating as I tend to find leisure activities that do not involve me wanting to puke. The entire, I have a boat that burns 100 gallons an hour that costs more than your house just screams dooshbag. But what hat I saw today took the cake. It is 90 degrees in NYC and I catch some gavone drag out a hot tub onto the dock of his crappy marina. You can't be content with your BMV, silicone girlfriend and fifty foot yacht, but you have to show the rest of the world that even when it is 100 degrees outside you will sit in your fucking hot-tub
Thursday, May 26, 2016
The weird thing is that at 6pm I saw an update and it sounded like they made an arrest which is great but I swear it took me four times to understand the headline
It read "Troy Ave arrested after deadly shooting at T.I. concert". .
I may be showing my age here but have no idea what a T.I. is and I am still not sure if Troy Ave is a place or a thing. I'm sure the shooting was completely called for and justified, so I won't go into any of that but who I really feel bad for are the fans, because they didn't have they opportunity to watch T.I. perform and nobody should have that T.I.'s art taken away from them.... Oh yeah I also feel for a bunch of kids who went to a concert and could've gotten killed because of some stupid hip-hop pissing match
Wednesday, May 25, 2016
We're all aware that you don't have to be a superb athlete to be an effective pitcher, take Harvey's teammate Bartolo Colon for example whose weight users around three bills yet he still pitches effectively at age 42. The thing is that guys Colon, David Wells and CC Sabathia were always loads and they have perfected their craft by using their girth to their advantage. Harvey looked liked an athlete a few years ago when he was still young and hungry for success, now he's just hungry.
Stay away from the Twinkies and cheese doodles, Matt, and start acting like an athlete
Tuesday, May 24, 2016
I can't tell you about the viability of this plan but the supposed timeline (60 months) seems more sensible that the expected timeline of digging a tunnel (60 years). It could be done relatively cheap ($20 billion) which would be have immediate funding for 75% of it and it would solve an immediate problem (suffocating congestion coming into the city for yours truly)
With all of the success of the highline, maybe there is something sort of pleasant about having the ability to walk above all the riffraffs on 34th street which is what the third deck in the triple decker would be used for. The second deck would be for buses which would alleviate congestion in the tunnel and allow people to.get off in midtown and the bottom deck would be for train lines with a stop in midtown sort of like that train thing at the Detroit airport.
Monday, May 23, 2016
I'd do it too, I'd take it all away and more...no G-Chat or Snapchat or CatChat or anything and they will not be going on any dates either. We will just sit home and converse which really means that they will be staring at a big hole in the wall after I have ripped the TV off the F'in wall in a fit of absolute rage. They will ask why they can't have nice stuff and I will bitch about all the sacrifices I have made for them and how they don't deserve it.
I thought about letting the nice lady in on the secret but I just smiled and thanked her for her kind words as I kicked my oldest in the shin and strangled my middle one with my arm while shoving chocolate covered French Fries in the mouth of my youngest
I am like Homer Simpson just less charming
Sunday, May 22, 2016
So the suicidal moron is now in some hospital and probably will get a Diane Sawyer type interview out of this yet the two lions who happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time get killed. Makes sense
Saturday, May 21, 2016
The horse who won the race apparently had as massive heart saying attack but I guess that happenes when they pump tons of drugs into these inbred horses. The second death was tragic in another way because the horse just took a bad step and tripped throwing his jockey off him breaking the jockey's collarbone. They then drive up to the fallen horse, throw a blanket over him and shoot him which I guess is considered humane although I think it without only have been fair to do the same to the broken collarbone having jockey. They certainly find it would bring people back to the track
Friday, May 20, 2016
Well Fat Joe outed the unknown Knick last week on some lame sportstalk in Miami and to everybody's surprise it was Anthony Mason, the second biggest badass on the Knicks. A guy who was a hustler in his own right and one who nobody would want to meet in a dark alley...but I guess if you have a story to tell, you better make it a good one and holding Chris Dudley or Greg Anthony at gunpoint doesn't exactly have the same effect.
Thursday, May 19, 2016
Wednesday, May 18, 2016
Mittens Romney, the star of a couple of failed presidential campaigns and the son of another failed presidential hopeful has somehow failed again as he tried to drum up support for a third party candidate. This was always odd with a desire to throw over the GOP coming from the most established guy from the establishment.
Not only did his NeverTrump not ever gain any traction it only lasted a week or so longer than Scott Walker's run for president, and was somehow even less successful. This is hard considering Walker went from TOR tournament pick to outcast in about three weeks.
I guess the writing was on the wall when Spencer Zwick, a GOP mega fundraiser and the guy who Romney has called his "sixth son", met with Trump last week to discuss campaign strategy. We always knew that this entire NeverTrump thing for Romney was always just an ego trip with him setting up the stage with his hope that the GOP woikd come begging him to give it over more run for the good of the country. What we all knew was it was a trip nobody wanted to buy a ticket for, we've already seen Kansas City twice, no need to see it again
But give Mitt credit, at some point he had to realize the train was leaving the station and he was gonna be left standing there in his pressed jeans and loafers, so he got up and walked off
Tuesday, May 17, 2016
But anyway, good luck to De La Fuente and the other corpse who somehow got in the race Martin O'Malley, thanks for perhaps playing spoiler
Monday, May 16, 2016
Sunday, May 15, 2016
Trump is a sleaze..check
Trump likes hot chicks..check
Trump want said hot chicks in teeny tiny bikinis..check
Trump probably banged a bunch of Miss Universe contestants..check
Some of those chicks now regret that..check
Trump used his celebrity, power, money and influence in his conquests..check
There was just nothing new in it and nothing remotely surprising, or quite frankly interesting, about the piece and it was put out for the NYT Sunday readership so I doubt you had a lot of Trump supporters who read it and thought.."maybe this guy isn't this mythical defender of women's rights I've been made to believe, well I will not be voting for him anymore and instead will vote for Hillary Clinton because her husband Bill is one who believes in women's equality and would never force unwanted attention upon anybody"
Saturday, May 14, 2016
It's not much better for the Dems who will probably try to convince the crazy grandpa to give it another run.
Time to find some candidates that don't totally suck... I'm not holding my breath
Friday, May 13, 2016
Just today I saw a tweet about some backup running back named Iosefa and it took me three looks to figure out it wasn't Losefa.
Time to figure this one out
Thursday, May 12, 2016
Time to start digging up some new dirt on Donald's mistresses or find his tax returns because I can't go through six months of this dribble
Wednesday, May 11, 2016
Take your serenity tent and shove it
Tuesday, May 10, 2016
I'm sure they'll hijack a good John Cougar Mellencamp song and feature lame ass Brett Favre in a commercial or two..Let's just hope he doesn't whip out his little packer
Monday, May 9, 2016
I get that she's no longer a public servant so she can obviously dress like she'd like to but if she ever goes to be considered for any job that doesn't involve serving buffalo wings, she may want to consider dressing her age..... and her weight
Sunday, May 8, 2016
Saturday, May 7, 2016
That thing looks like a ferret died on his upper lip
Friday, May 6, 2016
First of all, give us some ads that are at least somewhat timely and even if not and you must have holiday ads please at least give us something festive. I cannot tell you how annoyed I'd be if my wife got me an MTA hat for Christmas.... Especially if it was given to me in June.
Thursday, May 5, 2016
I can't believe we are stuck with these two
Wednesday, May 4, 2016
I guess we got Trump and it is time to start drinking. I'm not saying po the champaign but probably would advocate for some bourbon in dark room. I actually saw a street vendor today seeking Trump buttons and he was talking to somebody and I overheard him say "I can't we got this guy, this is just crazy, we are all screwed" this coming from a guy who makes his living selling Trump by bumperstickers and red hats. I guess what is good for his business is not what how he would vote such is commendable, I guess but either way w got Trump
To be fair as of this publication, John Kasich had not officially dropped out of the GOP race but he might as well make it official when he refused to get into the plane to Oregon today cause Lord knows he had no interest in hanging out Columbus. But the bigger news was probably Cruz dropping like a wet turd into a overflowing bowl about 20 hours ago. I will let Politico and the pundits digest his failed campaign but I think it came down to one thing... If both Trump and Cruz were highschool kids, one would be wearing a varsity jacket and the other would be telling the teacher that the varsity jacket wearing guy cheated on the math test. I guess if we had to put Kasich into the analogy then he would be the fat kid at the cafeteria shoving as many Twinkles in his mouth as humanly possible.
But anyway, to me the results of the final race were obvious, Cruz is so incredibly unlikable that he never really had a path to the nomination and Kasich looks like he has Tourettes.
Sent from my iPhone
Tuesday, May 3, 2016
Antonio Cromartie called Eddie Murphy today and told him that it was time to get himself fixed, because apparently there isn't a cornerback (of piece of latex) in the league who can cover him. Maybe Eddie just loves kids or maybe he is just to bif for magnums or maybe he just loves child support but when I read that he just had his ninth kid, I just scratched my head.
When I was a kid, my buddies and I would drive to Alpine and drive past Eddie Murphy mansion, a house that was so big you had to drive around the block to see the entire front and then one day he sold it to Alicia Keys. We always assumed that he had gotten tired of it and wanted something new but maybe the truth was that it wasn't big which for his growing family.
This is Murphy's ninth child. The 55-year-old is dad to Eric, 26 (with Paulette McNeely) Christian, 25, (with Tamara Hood Johnson), Bria, 26, Miles, 23, Shayne, 21, Zola, 16, and Bella, 14 (with his ex-wife Nicole Mitchell) and Angel, 9, with Spice Girl Melanie "Mel B" Brown.
What is more (or maybe less) impressive is not the sheer quantity but how goddamn busy Eddie Murphy was between 1989 and 1994. Granted this probably also coincides with the height of his popularity, so he was probably getting delirious with a ton of chicks and apparently doing it raw basically every Saturday Night live in New York and then running over to get busy in Beverly Hills too.
I wonder if when he was getting called weekly from random chicks if he tried to get some some schmuck to trade places with him or put on some fat man disguise to avoid it becoming public news in which case he may have a few other ones we don't know about. Either way it would have been great to hear him get chewed out about his infidelity by James Earl Jones
Sent from my iPhone
Monday, May 2, 2016
Just today he decided to go all in with his transgender bathroom position and singled out Caitlyn Jenner. His argument was that allowing transgender people to use the ladies room opens up the possibilities that sexuall predators could find ways to get into a girls bathroom in a Chucky Cheese's even if the had been no evidence that this is a major or even a minor problem. My argument to his "grown men shouldn't be in the bathroom with little girls" argument is that maybe grown men shouldn't be in the bathroom with any little kid, there are just as many perverts who pray on little boys as little girls. I sure wouldn't want a Catholic priest in the bathroom with one of my friend's sons or my nephew.