Tuesday, February 28, 2017
When I saw the photo of Kellyanne Conway on her knees on the oval-office couch, I turned to my wife and said "this won't end well" I'm not sure what got me, but it wasn't the fact that some losers were annoyed she had her shoes on. It was just this weird seductive looking pose, on her knees in front of a room full of smiling dudes that made me think, well this like Monica Lewinsky all over again
I'm not calling it anything that it isn't and although she's no angel I certainly wasn't her idea to appear like she's Annabel Chong on the Howard Stern circa 1993.
I don't think she disgraced the White-House, I don't think she did anything wrong other than just take a ridiculous group photo with her iPhone instead of getting, I don't know ,the White House photographer to take it using his the big ridiculous Nikon he has set up on that camera stand for occasions just like this.
anyway, i'm just happy that she's allowed back in the Oval Office, not sure where she's been hiding for the last few weeks (maybe under a desk??) after she apparently went rogue on a couple of Sunday Morning shows. The world is better (or much worse) with her standing right behind Trump.. or I guess kneeling in front of him.. I really don't know but she's certainly gives a lot of fodder for SNL
Monday, February 27, 2017
Sunday, February 26, 2017
This is our White House in 2017, so scared about leaks that it bars the press, has their staff go through what can only be seen as a loyalty oath and have gone on a scorched earth approach to the leaks by calling them "Fake News". These morons don't even realize how ridiculous they look, with every press briefing looking more and more like they are channeling their inner Kim Jung Un, another Putin lapboy.
But the best thing is this phone check thing, you just know that Spicer sat on that room and was completely puzzled when the number 1-2-3-4 didn't unlock all those iPhones, he is really that dumb
Saturday, February 25, 2017
Friday, February 24, 2017
Thursday, February 23, 2017
But what is the most annoying about this entire thing is that you have to think this will make deplaning a two hour affair. If every person on a 200 person flight needs to show ID and stand there for thirty seconds, we are talking about 1:40 to get off the plane. Forget about making your connection, Chachi
I'll be sure to keep my ID in my underwear when I get on a flight to Florida next week.
Wednesday, February 22, 2017
The conversation goes like this
But Righetti, Joe SixPack in Toledo told me that those guys are taking good paying American jobs.
Well Joe SixPack doesn't have a job and still wouldn't be caught dead picking berries and would go ape-#### if he found out his strawberry pancakes at IHOP just jumped in price by $5. He doesn't seem to be able to connect the dots in this game of 3D checkers
Joe Sixpack wants his toilets cleaned, his car washed, his flower beds pruned and he'll be damned if his Motel-6 bill jumps $20 a night. And god forbid he couldn't get to his non existent work because he couldn't find a nanny or because he was busy shoveling his own snow
But I, I mean Joe SixPack, likes shoveling snow
No, you, I mean he, really doesn't
But global warming will mean that we won't get as much snow
You didn't just say that, right?
What JoeSixPack doesn't realize is that immigrants are the gift that keeps on giving, they offer cheap labor, doing jobs that nobody wants for as many hours as you need them..oh yeah, they don't take vacations or breaks or sick days or anything. They just work hard, every. single. day.
But they are killer and rapists and smell bad
no they aren't and mostly they don't
But they take from our social safety nets..
But they are brown..
yes, now we got to the expressway you were looking for
But Trump told me that they came here and took our jobs and put them in a duffle bag and brought them to Mexico where they are turning those jobs into crystal meth and shipping it over the unsecured border by shoving it up the wawas of innocent girls but we will find them and arrest them and catapult them over the wall and charge them for the ride
We are so screwed
Tuesday, February 21, 2017
From the official tally, it sounded like Obama played 333 rounds of golf while president, which is nothing compared to Woodrow Wilson's 1200 or Ike's 800 rounds.
Trump is at 6 or something, so he has some serious catching up to do
Monday, February 20, 2017
Today all the talk will be about his pedophilia thing, and as repugnant as that is, I have to believe that's just all part of the act. Performance art designed to elicit a powerful emotion all on the unsuspecting minds of the GOP and their freedom of speech caucus. I get that it all comes across as bizarre but that makes it all the more perfect, an act so over the top that you can only shriek in defiance. This is Skip Bayless, this is The Iron Sheik, this is Sacha Baron Cohen at his absolute best and everybody is freaking the hell out which is exactly the goal
Sunday, February 19, 2017
Hope there was some extreme vetting on this psycho before he got on stage and then crowd surfed back to his seat
Saturday, February 18, 2017
Trump's Make America Great Again, Again committee put out a survey to poll Americans on the levels of bias in the Main Stream Media and it reads as if The Donald himself wrote it. Long gone are the days of policy defended in long form, it now has to fit nearly into 140 characters for our president because he can't keep his attention for much more than that. Well the survey is another doozie, with questions like
There are so many double negatives in this thing that you can't even fill it out quickly because every question reads like. Do you not like the person who you hate more than the person who you only sort of hate? I'm sure that after this stupid survey gets passed around the country, Big Don will not like the findings of it, because it's hard to convince a country a country that they have an enemy when that enemy is the only sensible voice in the room.
Anyway, fill it out and sign it Eric Trump
Sent from my iPhone
Friday, February 17, 2017
Poor Chris Christie, he's had a rough patch lately. First he lost all credibility over BridgeGate which in turn lost all his popularity. He then got trounced in the republican nomination, then he hitched his wagon to Trump until being unceremoniously dumped on the eve of the inauguration. He then finally does get invited back to the White House and when he gets there he is told by Trump to order anything on the menu which, to a guy like Chris Christie, is like waking up for Christmas morning. And then, not three minutes later, when the waiter shows up, Trump tell him that both he and Chris will have the meatloaf. Trump knows how to emasculate a man better than anybody (little Marco, Low Energy Jeb!) and he did a masterful job at it with the (not) lovable governor of our fair state.
But I'm calling FakeNews on this, because the thing about MeatloafGate is that we all know that Big Chris was going to order the meatloaf anyway. There was no way that he was ordering the arugula-kale salad with baby corn and quinoa, so this all Much Ado About Nothing. It would be like me asking my two year old if she'd like ice cream or broccoli. For the sake of expediency, I'd already be at the freezer with that weird looking ice scooper thing.
With all that said, I would love to try that meatloaf, it does sound delicious.
Sent from my iPhone
Thursday, February 16, 2017
When things go bad and people aren't interested in hearing the newest studio release, they go to the hits like Pour Some Sugar on Me and that one other song people know. In Trump's case he either turns to crowd size (lie), the fake news (dangerous) and failing news (silly), his own alternative facts (stupid) people treating him unfairly (boohoo), electoral mandate (sort of) and Hillary/Obama (lame).
But most of the time he goes to only one of them to defend himself and placate his audience but today he went with the Triple Lindy and went Fake News and Obama based Leaks and threw a crowd size, electoral college falsehood and snowflakes in there for good measure. The weird thing is that you can't have it both ways, it's either Fake News or they are illegal leaks. If they aren't real, then they aren't legitimate leaks and if they are real then, by definition, they can't be fake news. What he probably did was mistake his Fake News for his Failing News thing which is understandable since they both start with an F and have "News" after it.
Wednesday, February 15, 2017
Donald Trump has been president for less than a month and has fulfilled a ton of promises, mostly that he'll get things done. You can fault the man for a lot but not for lack of effort. But with the latest Gallup poll dropping his approval rating to the level of GWB post Katrina, you wonder how much more he (and the country) can take
You can't complain that there are leaks and then also say it's fake news when they are reported. It is either a leak or it's just garbage, there are no grey areas. They have now come under tremendous scrutiny and it's time for Paul Ryan and Mitch McConnell to step up and put country first which is about as likely to happen as Trump staying off of Twitter for 24 hours because I'm not sure there is a vertebra between the two of them.
Then I heard somebody say that for the good of the country and the world, the left should stop goading Trump with this Russia stuff because, as you can see from his tweets today, he will feel the need to prove he can be tough which will likely lead to some international incident (and change the narrative for Trump).
I like how the responsibility of the world not ending now squarely falls on the shoulders of a bunch of latte drinking, tree hugging, pizza parlor visiting, kale eating, man hating, non sock matching, gay sex having, iguana owning, Prius driving, tandem bike riding, Chardonnay drinking, Roger Goodell supporting sycophants
Time to learn Russian
Sent from my iPhone
Tuesday, February 14, 2017
Michael Flynn was on top of the list, either right in front or right Steve Bannon and nobody wants to be that close to that stinking pile of human flesh. Stephen Miller is up there but his youth gives him a chance for redemption although he seems like a complete wacko.
Kellyanne Conway is more sleazy than dangerous and she'll be gone before the weekend and Spicer is just a doofus who is going to get minimized shortly. Priebus is just a suit, so I'm not that worried about him either. But Michael Flynn had that camp groundskeeper with a hacksaw look in his eyes and that was probably the best part of him. This guy is certainly a hypocrite, possibly a traitor and likely a criminal (lying to the FBI). The only question now is if he is covering for his boss and complicit in obstruction.
If the DoJ told Trump about this on January 26th and then Trump sent Pence out a week later to tell Chuck Todd that all was good without Pence knowing, then who is bludgeoning who? Pence either knew and lied or was not told the truth and made to look like a schmuck claiming now he found out about it when the Washington Post went to print.
But the fact that he might be compromised didn't bother Trump because Trump is probably compromised if the dossier has any truth to it. Why else has he gone after every solid ally we have (Australia, Mexico, NATO) and has been softer on Russia than his own soft belly
Either way we need an investigation because the ties to Russia are deep and dangerous although asking our elected officials to put country over party is about as likely as having Trump replace Flynn with Gandhi
Monday, February 13, 2017
A campaign which was punctuated with "lock her up" chants because of Hillary's questionable use of classified materials, now put their own classified information spread on the table right over the lobster bisque and the peppers with anchovies, so they could read it clearly. Didn't seem to matter that waiters were refilling water glasses and club members were taking photos, because Trump is Trump and the rules only apply to other people.
Great job America
Sunday, February 12, 2017
Saturday, February 11, 2017
What shocks me is that I actually think the media has been pretty fair to Ivanka, many people seeing her as the most reasonable voice in her fathers circle. Although that is like saying your the prettiest fat girl considering the rest of that circle involves Trump sons Beavis and Butthead, Stephen "crazy legs" Miller and a guy in Steve Bannon who actually looks like a fat woman.
But I guess Trump feels that she's been wronged, so much that she has actually been abused which is pretty strong language especially considering the way Melania seems to cower whenever The Big Don comes her way.
Friday, February 10, 2017
In retaliation, Xi Jinping refused to take Trump's call and after three weeks in office, the great negotiator came back and said he'd stay with the One China policy which only showed how weak our president is.
Thursday, February 9, 2017
She just changed her profile picture and it's a doozy, fat Rosie now looks just like fat Steve Bannon and it's glorious. The only thing missing are all those nasty blood blotches he has all over his face like he is about to blow up from a diabetes attack. I'm sure his boss won't be thrilled with this one, only a matter of minutes till he tweets
Wednesday, February 8, 2017
Tuesday, February 7, 2017
She came back and filed a $150million lawsuit which even for me seems a bit much. Whenever you see a lawsuit with an outrageous sum, I have to peak into it to see what the plaintiff is claiming and in this case Melania's claim is as outrageous as the original story. Her claim is that because of this article she has lost her "once-in-a-lifetime opportunity" to leverage multiple business and brands worth millions of dollars. Money she would have been able to earn as a brand ambassador while serving as FLOTUS. Let's leave the completely ridiculous part of a First Lady trying to profit from her role alone, plus the fact she is supposedly already a billionaire but the fact she thinks that her image is worth $150 million is just ludicrous. Her marriage to a petulant man-child with a terrible temperament is enough to sink her line. Maybe she should hawk her crappy stuff on QVC, the people watching that seem more her audience
Monday, February 6, 2017
But we all know that the entire replace thing is just going to be Trump taking Obamacare, rebranding it putting a big ribbon on it and rolling it out to the American public as the greatest AAA mortgage backed security ever.
Sunday, February 5, 2017
Saturday, February 4, 2017
Friday, February 3, 2017
But when imaginary people in a real city lose imaginary lives we take notice. They didn't stand chance when an imaginary boogieman gunned them down under the name of Radical Islamic Extremism (either that or some white supremacist thing, it's kind of hard to keep track) but what they don't know is that our resolve is stronger than hate, bigger than fear and more potent than that green stuff they add to sushi.
But today we remember those who were not lost, those who still breath the air and those who will still have the opportunity to have children whose childhood they can still ruin. These are people who woke up one morning and didn't ask to meet their Maker and for once their wishes were granted and for that they should be thankful, whoever they are or aren't
During this time of national mourning, we ask that all citizens (legal residents should too unless you are some weird Muslim and illegals then please in with your local immigration officer). We ask that rightful citizens and white legal residents please, in solidarity put down your pens and editorials and blogs and come together to heal. We know this country sometimes divides us, and we know that when it does, we are weaker for it and we all know that when we come together and heal we are better for it. So today we come together to honor the victims of the tragedy that wasn't and ask us all to turn around and hug your neighbor, unless your neighbor is some weird child toucher type, then please punch them in their jaw.
America is more than guns and church and apple pie and crappy ABC comedies, America is goodness, it's pushing the little guy down so you can reach you goals, it's deregulation, it's a bunker mentality, it's isolationism, it's Wall Street and SuperFunds, and not just the ones that pay for 50 tons of PCP's dumped into the Hudson.
Our country is about crashes and bubbles and explosions and balloons and it's heart and soul and soul food and Chinese food (we are ok to keep them, I think) and it's you, so today we stand together for everything that is true and right and white
Let us pray
Thursday, February 2, 2017
But the funniest thing is that on Black History month, he spent more time attacking fake news than speaking about the perils of slavery. He made it clear that he had no idea who Fredrick Douglas was and he almost spoke longer about Omarosa than Martin Luther King, Rosa Parks, Douglas and Harriet Tubman combined. But he did let everybody know that he is good friends with Ben Carson because...well..Ben Carson is black. I was surprised he didn't mention Steve Harvey, Kanye West and Bill Cosby.
The good news is that it can't get worse, right? We are all under the impression that Bannon and Miller are running the show and Trump is actually the puppet he denied being.