My main addiction though is caffeine, my body practically convulses if I have not properly medicated it with a cup of joe to the point when I have a difficult time functioning as a normal human without this fix.
This is what happened to me yesterday, I got up at 4am and then spent the next seven hours commuting to Houston in the back-row of a 727. As I hadn't slept, I had hoped to get some shut eye on the flights so decided against any caffeine so that I could at least have a chance to nap but of course that doesn't happened. We get to Atlanta for a layover and the Northwest lounge only has decaf brewed, I go with this option and make it onto the plane for the second leg of my tour. When I landed I hit the road running and was busy the rest of the day with rental cars, customers, dinners and hotel reservations not immediately realizing I had forgotten a crucial part of my daily routine. By 1pm I started to feel quezy, by 2pm my head felt tender, by 3pm I felt like KungFu Panda was doing Katas inside my head and by 4pm I felt like Chris Farley was trying to squeeze through my eyeballs.
This is where I knew I was in trouble, when this point sets in and your entire mood changes because of the irritability and you become irrational you know you have entered the caffeine version of desert delusion. I am now in this no-mans land, I down a large coolata but it isn't enough as the pounding in my head has gone from a rhythmic tapping to an all-out hip-hop concert. The problem is that I know I can't fight it anymore, it's too late to medicate and I have 2 meetings to go. I start to dig my nails into my arm to the point I draw blood in the hope I can distract myself. When this doesn't work,I reposition myself in my seat so that my ass is firmly planted on my sack but even 190lbs of weight pressed on my balls doesn't seem to take away my pain as the headache has now blasted into a full fledged version of Full Metal Jacket. I pop two tylenol and try a double espresso at dinner but can't get it to go away.
19 hours after I got into a cab I finally get to my hotel room and lay down and cry myself to sleep with a bloody arm, a numb scrotum, a heart racing at 200 beats per second and a jackhammer going off in my head..
My life is very very bad
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