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Sunday, May 31, 2015
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Saturday, May 30, 2015
But assuming this is true, here is a new idea for a TLC staring Righetti called 19,000 and counting
Friday, May 29, 2015
There is some Prophet Muhammad cartoon drawing contest happening today and I would be shocked if it wasn't met with some kind of violence. I believe in free speech and I'm not trying to be hard on the soon to be 'victims' of this soon-to-be crime but to feel any sympathy for an event destined to lead to some kind of jihadist revenge, is like feeling bad for the guy who decides to rub peanut butter on his junk and then agitate a rabid pit-bull while the two are locked in a broom closet.
Some sociopath will undoubtedly come up to that contest today and slit somebody's throat with a machete and there will likely be residual damage but I can't think of a group of people who deserve it more than the peanut-butter on the junk rubbers who will be in attendance draped in their American flags and bibles. Well maybe that's not true, I feel even less bad for the rabid pit-bulls who will hopefully become the 100 virgins for some dude named Biff in maximum security prison.
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Thursday, May 28, 2015
Well this week I finally let go, putting the couch on the stoop and hoping for a buyer and by buyer I mean somebody who wanted to expend enough energy in lugging the piss covered thing away for the price of $0.00. The thing is that had I still lived in Brooklyn the couch would have been gone before all four legs hit the pavement stains and all. Years ago I'd put out old college engineering textbooks which would be gone before you came down with the second set but in the burbs the foot traffic isn't quite as heavy and the amount of poor college kids willing to lift a finger to get something for free is near nil.
So now I am just hoping the garbage truck takes it away and doesn't charge me some kind of additional heavy carriage fee cause I sure as hell am not putting it on Craigslist to have a psychopath come and cut me up and eat me for dinner on his brand new couch
Wednesday, May 27, 2015
The trouble with Times Square now is that there are ten of everything, ten Elmos, ten Cookie Monsters, ten Naked Cowboys and ten Captain America's and they are all so miserably desperate for your dollars bills the entire place feels like a strip club without the fun. But they are at least sort of liked because the guy who stands all day with the "repent now" sign gets absolutely no attention and it must be killing him when he sees fifty grandmas from Ohio lining up to take a picture with Mario and Luigi or worst yet some dude in a pair of tighty whities playing an acoustic guitar
Tuesday, May 26, 2015
When I saw an article on CNN about Adult FriendFinder getting hacked and exposing the dirty secrets of tens of thousands of private information that people use and vigilante hackers are exposing these secretes on social media to the victim's friends and family.
We thought we'd use this as a public service announcement for the TOR readership as we want to make sure that our audience is prepared for the likely fallout.
So that means you, guy who is obsessed with being clean and smooth in Brooklyn, Kinky Korean in Flushing who daydreams about the sweaty Hispanic guy on the subway, Dirty-Diaper-Dandy in NYC, peeper guy in Orange County who likes his girls to have bodies that look like prepubescent boys, sex addict lawyer guy in Los Angeles, banana cream pie guy in west jersey, weird obsessed guy with sportstalk in north jersey.. you are all about to be exposed so better prepare your defense now to your husbands, wives, girlfriends and coworkers .
Monday, May 25, 2015
Sunday, May 24, 2015
I haven't yet but I am sure when you open up that book and I am sure there are photos of a 1000 virgins opening the pearly gates (or whatever they have) to the lair of Saddam, Bin Laden, al Zarqawi and all their minions because I am sure that is what the author, Nina Laden, had in mind to recruit my kid to fight jihad against the evil west.
Either that or it is just a kids book
Saturday, May 23, 2015
Friday, May 22, 2015
If Francesa does leave it will mean that for the first time in 30 years there will be no member left on WFAN from the original Pope and the Dope show.
Mike Francesa has been the go-too sports talk voice in this city for thirty years and nobody comes close to being a must listen anywhere on the dial, be it terrestrial or satellite radio.
Now this could all be a ploy by the big man to exhort some additional cash out of WFAN, but if he does close up shop I cannot imagine who Chernoff puts on instead, certainly hope it isn't David Lee Roth.
Thursday, May 21, 2015
I hope they hang him by his sack in his cell while they let that dude in Florida who ate the other guy hang out with him till he's nothing but bones, thugs and harmony
Wednesday, May 20, 2015
Maybe he is like Einstein and didn't want to waste time picking out a shirt so his entire closet is blue button downs with white collars. Either way he is a pompous ahole
Tuesday, May 19, 2015
After a month or so I checked the graph and I sleep an average of 5 hours and 38 minutes which back when I was in college was considered a nap
Somehow I need to find a way to travel more...just so I can sleep
Monday, May 18, 2015
Anybody who travels knows this is the worst kind of delay, because it does not allow you to do anything. If you leave the area, you might just miss pre-boarding, so you can't relax because you will be pacing back and forth to the board every thirty seconds
Anyway I stand around for 30 minutes and right as we are due to board it gets pushed back another 30 minutes, a half hour later gets me yet another delay, this one for 45 minutes and then 30 minutes later they finally the dreaded cancellation announcement. Since I am not flying to a real popular destination like Chicago or LA it also means that there aren't many options and the next flight out of LaGuardia leaves at 4pm, and it's only 10:30. I go to the desk and am told there is a 2pm out of JFK, so I jump in a $40 cab (delta does not pay for this as it is weather related) and head to JFK. Now I sit here for three hours...wait make that three and a half hours since we were just delayed another half an hour here
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Saturday, May 16, 2015
Friday, May 15, 2015
Then we hit the turnpike and after 10 minutes of 60mph we hit the route 3 merge where we then spend one f*cking hour staring at the back of the other bus. If there is a hell, I hope I get through the gates faster than it takes me to get to gate 200 in the Port Authority
Thursday, May 14, 2015
What was particularly troubling was the fact that technology does exist to help prevent instances like this, if this one is deemed preventable, we just don't care to invest in the infrastructure to make it happen let alone have the people who man our transport be thoroughly screened and not overworked to points of physical and mental exhaustion
Wednesday, May 13, 2015
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Tuesday, May 12, 2015
The $4.4 billion Verizon they paid is surpassed only by the $4.2 billion AOL paid to by Netscape a decade ago because for only $200million they also MapQuest, Movie Phone and a million CD-ROMs
I did read that there were still over 2 million people who actually pay for AOL which I guess is impressive/sad but it also means that Verizon paid $2000 per member which seems ludicrous even they own the Huffington Post and TechCrunch and they have some technology that allows companies to buy ad space.
Buying AOL is like trading for Peyton Manning before the 2015 fantasy football season or better yet trading for Archie. Even if this ad buying software is phenomenal, have them spin that off as it's own entity and sell it because having AOL in your portfolio only makes you look and sound like my grandmother, and she's dead.
Monday, May 11, 2015
LeBron's mom better watch out cause Delonte West's got nothing on this man and his porn star 'stache.
Sunday, May 10, 2015
Saturday, May 9, 2015
I can't find a single channel which doesn't make me want to stn by self in the urethra
By the ay if you do see something broadcast by a "Mary" or "Jennifer" it's likely to be a transvestite or a high school girl..not good
Friday, May 8, 2015
I have been trying desperately to get some
work set up with a guy to do some masonry and every time I text him, he calls me back. I get that this is his preferred method bit it doesn't work for me because I need a quick answer and don't want to be tied up in the middle of the day with pleasantries but more importantly I want a written record of what we discussed. So now I follow up every conversation with a message but as he never replies via text, it is a long continuous one way conversation
Thursday, May 7, 2015
So I would have given him a pass on the entire thing except I just read that he is using his brother as his main foreign policy advisor. The same brother who got us into two endless quagmires in the Middle East, his brother who's entire foreign policy depended on getting some small island countries to sign onto a resolution written in invisible ink and the same brother who decided going at it alone was a smart decision
Sorry Jeb but you just lost my vote
Wednesday, May 6, 2015
They both look like they got bitten by Liza Minnelli and barfed up by Bea Arthur. Please get these two old ladies off of my TV set
Tuesday, May 5, 2015
I always assume that just by clicking one of those you automatically get ghonorrea of your hard drive and possibly ghonorrea of your hard-on too. So the ad rates must be crap even with all the traffics. Poor PornHub, can never get a break
Monday, May 4, 2015
Sunday, May 3, 2015
Better give this one another try Samsung and BestBuy.
Saturday, May 2, 2015
I just can't take a guy seriously who shares a name with a lightweight pizza boy when it comes to anything other than stuffed crust or two for one Tuesdays