Monday, February 29, 2016
Your candidates for the 2016 leader of the free world will either be Donald "The Duck" Trump or Hillary "the Shrill" Clinton and honestly we are all fucked. Clinton is well qualified but about as trustworthy as a real-estate mogul. Trump is about as qualified as a serpent.
So get out the vote tomorrow...or get me a Canadian passport
Sunday, February 28, 2016
Next time I will just buy a new minivan
Saturday, February 27, 2016
Soviet Sanders and his entire communistic regime has been beaten by Hillary and the great liberal machine and we're all worse off for it. Give me a chance to escape my reality because I am ready to salute dictator Trump
Friday, February 26, 2016
Sent from my iPhone
Thursday, February 25, 2016
We need to move on from the Bushes and Clintons, at this point I am even hoping Malia Obama moves into a bunker
Wednesday, February 24, 2016
But with that said I'd still take Trump over Cruz, at least his sleaziness is overt
Tuesday, February 23, 2016
Put in Jimmer
Monday, February 22, 2016
Sunday, February 21, 2016
Can't wait until 6 am tomorrow morning when I can continue building my liver back up.
Saturday, February 20, 2016
Rubio in a solid third should boot out Jeb! which will be a bit sad because he did offer some entertainment even if he didn't actually bring the entertainment himself and was just a punching bag for Trump
So now we wonder, the Trump supporters will probably rally around Rubio which after getting atomic wedgied by Trump for six months has to be the ultimate indignity.
Friday, February 19, 2016
The problem is that there is absolutely no way you can actually get this done in a anywhere near the time they claim. I made a meal lasts eel end which called for 15 minutes of prep and 20 minutes of cooking time and guaranteed a three course meal of rice pilaf, sauté baby spinach and Za'atar chicken skewers with a mint yogurt saucy. After two hours I had a bowl of yogurt, an overlooked chicken skewer and mash of rice and veggies and my hand reeked of garlic
Thanks Blue Apron for ruining my life
Thursday, February 18, 2016
This week Jeb! decided that he was no longer going to be four eyed geek for Donald to beat up on and for the last few days he has gone out on the town sans glasses becoming a two eyed geek for Trump to trump.
The problem is that he is a nerd regardless of the glasses and nobody is going to buy that Jeb! is all of a sudden the captain of the football team. He is such an insecure tool that he believes taking off his glasses will make him cooler when it probably only means he can't see the alarm clock.
Wednesday, February 17, 2016
We are not shocked that there was no autopsy done and that details of his death have been kept hush-hush because the chances of that hotel room having been littered with ciallis, blow and a couple of dead hookers and possibly a cabin boy is fairly high. Either that or the Dems offed by suffocating the fat man with a pillow.
Or maybe he just died in his sleep, succumbing to a life of meatball parm heros and Bloomberg sized cokes.
Tuesday, February 16, 2016
This past weekend with the GOP debate airing on network television returned me back 20 years when five or six times per year Vince McMahon would put on Saturday Night Main Event. The battles on Saturday night were epic, Trump vs Cruz, Cruz vs Rubio, Jeb! vs Trump and it was a complete bloodbath which can only be compared to the golden age of wrestling...
So with that in mind we out our favorite candidates into the WWF
Ronald Reagan- The Hulkster
Every kid in the 80's knew that there were two people looking out for them, who spoke about and for American virtue..Ronald Reagan and Hulk Hogan.. Both spoke about prayers yet neither ever made it into a church, both draped themselves in the flag to get their audience to believe and both were actors who proved to be phonies who played to their audience.
Ted Cruz- Bret Hart
Excellence in Execution has no better comparison in the senate than what Ted Cruz is doing today and we'll see him pull every string to make sure that Obama can't get anything done.. He was immensely popular amongst a certain fringe who believe that he is the best there is, the best there was and there best there ever will be when it comes to fighting for the constitution..
Oh yeah, that and he is a Canadian..
Trump- Ted DiBiase
Is convinced he can buy the WWF belt and even if he can't, he will buy his own better one. He is more interested in doing it his way than ever thinking he needs to work it through lime everybody else does because he is just that brash and that rich...which makes
Ben Carson –Virgil
Carson is worth so much more and early on he could have been Rick Steamboat or something but lately he is just sucking up to Donald that this is really all that is left of him
Rick Perry- Hacksaw Jim Dugan
Kind of like the Hulkster expect dumb as a 2x4, draped in the American Flag although you're not sure he isn't wiping his ass with it when he's not in public view..
Chris Christie -George the Animal Steele
People will tell you that George Steele was a Harvard professor but all you knew about him was he was a walking talking Cookie Monster
Mike Huckabee – The Honky Tonk Man
The Honky Tonk Man never had realistic aspirations past the intercontinental title, like Mikey Huck never had any real hope for president but embraced the roll like nobody else ever could..
George W. Bush- Macho Man
The Son of a Wrestler who everybody hoped for greatness. Nobody expected Macho Man to win the title in Wrestemania IV but the most unlikely combination happened and he won what was supposed to be the next great champion. Problem is that he listed to too many people who never had himself, or the WWE's interest at heart and everybody suffered because of it. When he spoke, you kind of cringed and you never felt his relationship with Miss Elizabeth-Condi, was all that clean.. That plus there are a million not so quite whispers that the Macho Man was high-as-a-kite for his entire reign. Which makes
Jeb! – Leaping Lanny Poffo
The much less energetic, much less fun brother of Macho Man.. later became known as the Genius! which is about as laughable as calling Jeb! one.
George H Bush- Angelo Poffo
A noted wrestler in the the 60's and 70's who spawned a couple of wrestlers and carried his carpet-bagger title proudly..
Obama- The Iron Sheik..
no comment needed
Bernie Sanders- Nikolai Volkoff
No comment necessary
Hillary Clinton- Linda McMahon
Wife of the guy in charge but we all know who wears the pants, because the guy on top really can't keep his pants on..
Rand- Kurt Angle
There has never been a better technical wrestler than Kurt Angle, even if he did it with almost no flare or excitement.. The guy was boring as a personality because he took himself way too seriously and refused to come down to anything entertaining.. Smug as all hell but nobody would ever accuse him of selling out.
Rubio- Ricky Steamboat
One of the more talented guy on the roster but always doomed to be the second fiddle because he just had no real personality.. Maybe America just wasn't quite ready for him or maybe the idiots that pay $45 to sit in the nosebleeds don't know any better anyway..
Peyton Manning- Jake the Snake
Loves throwing his snake on some unsuspecting person's face
Lindsay Graham- Greg the Hammer Valentine.
Like The Hammer, there are tons of rumors out there implying that Greg likes to get his hammer polished in the sauna at the New York's Sports Club
Howard Finkel- Bill O'Reily
Jim Powers and Paul Roma.. Pataki and Jindal.. just a couple of goobers needed to keep the undercard going
special thank you to local WWF historian Zed Frank for the help with this post
Monday, February 15, 2016
But then I came up with something where this might have some real value, trying to find a lost phone or set of keys. If I could use a GPS locator to tell me that my phone is not just in my house but in the third drawer next to my hello kitty socks, that would be a service that I could see being incredibly helpful. Time to put a GPS tracker on everything I own...including my kids
Sunday, February 14, 2016
Well today was one of those days, I left the house at 3 degrees but Mr. G warned me that it would feel like -10 and he was completely right because in the 3 minutes I spent outside, I felt my eyelids freeze shut. We have really only had a single bad day this entire winter but honestly it is time for summer
Saturday, February 13, 2016
Anyway, what was most surprising to me actually was that it took until about 5pm today to have this news become knows since they found his body this morning after he did not show up for breakfast at some fancy vacation ranch. We know that Antonin was not one to miss breakfast, so people must have been concerned within minutes of the first stack of silver dollar pancakes came out steaming hot.
What I noted was that The San Antonio Express had this story at about 11am today (as per Google news) but no other major outlet had it for six hours later. How in today's ultra connected world does it take six hours for something as big as this to stay buried. The only thing I have to imagine is that they wanted to give the family some respect in this time for mourning...... that and they needed time to bury the dead hookers and clean up all the viagra and blow
Friday, February 12, 2016
A few weeks ago trying to be prepared for the next time I bought two tickets when I got there, one to use that night and a second to have in my pocket in case I was running late a few weeks later but little did I know that these things expire. I took this ferry regularly years ago but I am certain this expiration thing is new
Today, getting onto the ferry, I had my ticket rejected I have no idea why they would expire and of course nobody at NY waterways could give you any explanation either.
Righetti Why would this expire, I paid $10.25 for this ticket just a few weeks ago?
NY waterways employee. Why not?
Righetti. Because it doesn't make any sense. My bus tickets don't expire.
NY waterways employee. Well milk does
Righetti. That makes no sense, milk spoils. this ticket is exactly the same as if I bought it. The price is the same, I didn't get a discount
NY waterways. It says so on the ticket
Righetti. But how would I have know that before I bought the ticket. There is no sign
NY waterways. Well that is the rule
Righetti. So how do you justify this?
NY Waterways. Yes I understand
Righetti. You understand what? Why am I being screwed out of a perfectly good ticket?
NY waterways. Well eggs expire
Righetti. I don't think you understand.
NY waterways. Yogurt expires
Righetti. But this isn't a dairy product. It is a ticket for a ferry
NY waterways. Of course
Righetti. So why does it?
NY waterways. How about your metro card, it has an expiration date
Righetti. Yes, but you don't lose the funds, if you have $5 on the expired card it gets transferred to your new one
NY waterways. Yes exactly
Righetti. I don't think you understand
NY waterways. Yes
Righetti. I am going to miss my ferry, how can you resolve this
NY waterways. I can tell you that it is expired
Righetti Can I exchange it?
NY waterways. No
Righetti. Why not?
NY waterways. Because it is expired it says so on the ticket
Righetti. Yes I realize that but how would I have know that before i bought it
NY waterways because it says so on the ticket
Thursday, February 11, 2016
My sister's NYC school had to renovate all their bathrooms to accommodate wheelchairs which is a great thing, except she is in a four story walk up building, including the front steps...can somebody explain this?
So if that is not a prime example of tone-death action to broad legislation, let me give you another one
I am getting more than a little annoyed by all these low urinals I see everywhere. I am a 6'2" which means that every renovated bathroom has a urinal that starts at my knees. So now I am pissing down in a troth which leads to all kinds of additional back splash which means my pants a knee level are covered in piss.
If I had a garden hose like some of my more well endowed buddies (private message me if you want their numbers ladies) then this might not be a major issue but I am a very average white dude in every respect.
The issue is that just this week I was made aware that these vertically challenged toilets are now so low that people are literally pissing on the top of them, right where the fucking handle is. I don't even think this is the kind of thing you have to blame Yao Ming for as they are made for a ridiculous low level. Take some 6'5" dude who is hung like a small child and you can have this issue, although it doesn't excuse the foul behavior
I really hate people.
Wednesday, February 10, 2016
But what is more amazing is how inept Jeb! has been at campaigning, the only thin more amazing is how masterful he has been in fundraising.
Jeb spent $1150 per vote he received in the Granite State..that is absolutely nuts, he would have been better off directly giving people money, I bet $500 per vote could have gotten him at least the same results he got.
For a point of reference, Cruz spent only $18 per vote and spent about 5 minutes in New Hampshire, Trump spent $40 per vote which isn't a fair comparison because he gets so much free air-time and publicity but even the other "establishment" candidates spent significantly less than Jeb!!
Here is the rundown
Jeb! $1150 per vote
Christie. $850 per vote
Rubibot. $425 per vote
Kasich. $225 per vote
Fiorina. $100 per vote
Carson. $75 per vote
Trump. $40 per vote
Cruz. $18 per vote
Gilmore. Undefined value, does not compute
Tuesday, February 9, 2016
Sent from my iPhone
Monday, February 8, 2016
Sunday, February 7, 2016
Sent from my iPhone
But that is not the worst of it because as much as I am not ready to be confronted with this at 7:30am myself, I am definitely not ready to explain it to my six year old and we all know they will immediately ask you when they read that sign. It's like all those viagra commercials during every NFL game with a guy throwing the football through the tire swing as the sun sets over his farm. She has asked me to explain that one already and I had to come up with some crap about the guy having hurt his shoulder and now able to throw a spiral again with the help of that pill.
Whatever happened to the kind of wholesome Marlboro and Joe Kook ads of my youth??
Friday, February 5, 2016
Here are some comments
- when it comes to anything genuine, Bernie has her beat badly, it's as if they aren't even playing the same game. Bernie believes everything he says and Hillary believes everything she says will get her elected. The two don't mix
- I love the fact that unlike every other candidate who sloshes down Poland Spring after Poland Spring, Bernie is chugging straight black coffee. It's 10:45 and he's got a pot of that gas station quality mud under his lector.
- Hillary on the other hand practically has Rachel Maddow under her lector the entire night
- for all the fireworks we got early, it seemed the old man got a bit tired and Hillary realized it wasn't playing well, so at some point they seemed to be exchanging spots underneath each other's lectors
- you can see the Melanoma growing on Bernie's head, if that isn't king to get him, the fact that he looks like he is about to go into cardiac arrest right on stage. He also looks like he has to pee the entire time, maybe cut back on that black mud a bit??
- when Bernie smiles I half expect his teeth to fall out
- When Hillary smiles I see that carnival game clown
- when it comes to foreign policy, Bernie is lost. It is not the lack of experience that bothers me, it is that he has absolutely no discernible policy or direction. The answer to Russia's land grab cannot be "income inequality", the answer to North Korea cannot be "deregulating the banks" and the answer to Saudi-Iranian feud cannot be Big Oil...well maybe that could have something to do with it
- Bernie makes people who follow Islam sound like they are large deer. I get the Brooklyn accent is part of the charm but come on dude.
- you have to love that Hillary turns over her notes when she goes to take a wee. She treats them more carefully than she does classified information
- The contrast between a seasoned politician and a ideologue is pretty stark and as much as Hillary will fight I think we all believe that voting for her is a vote for the status quo...and that is not a bad thing at all
- glad to see Flint brought up, time for Obama to step in and treat this like the national crisis that it is, it is not his fault but if that were Bush, he would be getting killed for inaction. Time to step up and lead
- there is nothing lamer than the "would you choose him/her as your VP?" God, get over yourself MSNBC. We all know Hilary would take Ed Rendell and Bernie would take a moose
- I hope Chris Matthews and the rest of the MSNBC crew didn't hurt themselves (or each other) trying to get out from underneath Rachel Maddow and Chuck Todd's desk
- never remember candidates giving big hugs to the moderators after a debate before, guess it is like kissing your girlfriend after messing up the sheets
- last note, when the thing ended it was odd to not see Old Bill coming out...wouldn't be shocked if he was stuck under an MSNBC intern's desk
Thursday, February 4, 2016