Sunday, April 30, 2017
Saturday, April 29, 2017
Great guy we hired here
Friday, April 28, 2017
What was even less shocking was that in the middle of the interview our president presented the interviewers with maps of the country with the districts that voted for him colored in with red, like he was handing out a kids menu and pack of crayons at TGIFridays. This guy is so consumed with that stupid win, a win which we'll be suffering from for years. I think the chances of him being the president affected the position the most is likely, sadly it's race between him and Nixon.
Thursday, April 27, 2017
We at TOR do appreciate the photo that the NY Times chose to run, nothing like a news organization trolling a (faux) news organization in broad daylight
Wednesday, April 26, 2017
Tuesday, April 25, 2017
I'm quite frankly getting sick of all the winning.. I've been winning so much that it's starting to feel like we are losing.
During the campaign, our Dear Leader drummed home the idea of getting more done in his first 100 days than anybody else. He had a list of things ranging from building a wall to repealing Obamacare to giving all middle school kids pizza for lunch every single day. Sadly for nobody, none of those promises have actually come true and thus, by Trump's own metrics, his presidency has not been very successful. Today on the eve of day 100, they put out a list of all sorts of great accomplishments, putting them in context with other presidents through their first 100 days.
The one that stood out more than anything was that he trumps Obama in Executive Orders signed through 100 days. Trump has had 30 already while the low-energy Obama was only at 11 through 100 days.
Of course the GOP will embrace this as more winning, even if they have been telling us that Executive Actions are the equivalent of a pact with the devil for the last eight years. So, I guess we're winning based on the new metrics, losing on the ones we were supposed to care about a few months ago but since our president takes every position, so even when we all lose, he wins. For a guy who has made (and lost) his money in Casinos, he certainly knows how to be the house..
But it does bring up an interesting point, his supporters don't seem to be very idealistic either, look at this stat… 38% of Democrats though bombing Syria under Obama's leadership was a wise decision, that number dropped to 37% under Trump. Republicans on the other had went from 22% thinking it was sound policy under Obama and 86% thinking it's so now..
Monday, April 24, 2017
Delta's CEO, Richard Anderson, better come out with an apology soon or he'll suffer the same fate the United guy just got.
Sunday, April 23, 2017
Sent from my iPhone
Saturday, April 22, 2017
I get the art of the deal, but when that deal turns from Mexicans paying for the wall to us paying for it, it seems the art is being taught by a kindergartner. We've been told Obamacare is the worst thing in the entire world, but now TeamTrump will try to sell us that it's worthwhile in order for them to shove Jeff Sessions's stupid wall shoved in our five-holes
I reserved on Monday, get confirmation on Tuesday and got a notification on Wednesday that Ceasar, my driver, was on the way. I kept my front door open and at 6:05 a Honda CRV drives up my street, I guess he'll pull around and I'd be on my way to JFK within seconds. The problem is that Ceasar decided to call an audible and instead of picking me up and heading to JFK, he cancelled and headed to Franklin Lakes. There I am, bags packed, shoes on and kids kissed and no cab. I dial up Uber again and find only a single driver, Caesar, in my area. I request him again but he immediately turns off his phone and I'm stuck. A half hour later a new driver finally shows up and does drive me to the airport
Thursday, April 20, 2017
Wednesday, April 19, 2017
But our president doesn't quiet care about optics or the appearance of conflict, the entire Syrian 'outrage' last week was a badly choreographed high school musical to try to throw the dogs off the scent but the dogs aren't going anywhere.
The next bombshell will be the promise of easing sanctions in an audio tape delivered by Carter Page over the summer.
The reason we believe there was an audio tape is because Trump does not use email and would not have put this to paper. This gives him some kind of lame " plausible" out, as there won't ever be a direct paper trail back to him. He dictates all his correspondence and would always claim that his secretary misheard him.
But all of this wouldn't sit well with Putin who wanted some kind of assurance, something more substantive than Flynn winking and smiling at him. So it was likely Putin's demand, to hear it in Trump's own words which put Carter Page on that plane. Putin's no dummy and he knew very well that the intelligence community was listening in to every phone call coming into and out of the Kremlin.
But as we have stated before, even if released we expect the audio tape to be typical Trump, a lot of nothing hidden underneath a lot of bravado and buried in a sea of adjectives. Even if it is very obviously quid pro quo.
But we digress. This is now coming to a head with the the world's biggest oil company asking for those sanctions lifted. This will give them access to the vast oil reserves under Mother Russia and give Russia a driller and buyer.
Now if only Exxon had a guy inside who could help grease the wheels a bit, then we'd really have a story
Tuesday, April 18, 2017
But it turns out that Carter Page may have been the go-between for Donnie and his buddy Vlad. Rumors are swirling that Page used the backstreets to deliver an audio tape with Trump's voice on it, assuring that if Russia helped hack the election, a new Trump administration would be lax on some of the sanctions and would turn a blind eye to Crimea and the next Crimea. This wasn't a small feat and wasn't something that Donnie was going to farm out to just any backup singer, the message had to be clear and perfectly in sync with all the moving piece. This was a major deal and they weren't going to give it to the new kid on the block.
The way I see it, Manafort is Joey Fatone the fat ugly one, that makes Mike Flynn = Lance Bass as the funny looking gay one, Roger Stone becomes that weird one with the goatie, Nunes can be that other one you forgot was in the band and that would make Carter Page....Justin F'n Timberlake
And of course Kushner is Sweet Lou Perlman, the sketchiest of them all who by design can claim some kind of limited culpability and keeps the entire thing conveniently away from
BMG(Trump) when the hotel room gets trashed, a couple of teenagers get impregnated and the Russians come calling for their IOU
Monday, April 17, 2017
Sunday, April 16, 2017
Saturday, April 15, 2017
The one thing we do appreciate is the fact he has committed to draining the swamp, systematically ridding Washington DC of the lobbyist, career politicians, DC lifers and big oil and Goldman Sachs bankers. Our capital's waterways have never been cleaner, the stench of the sewage that once occupied our great city replaced by a pristine pool where Rex Tillerson, Rick Perry, Steve Mnuchin, Mike Pence, Reince Priebus, Wilbur Ross, Tom Price can wade and clean themselves of their original sins.
Friday, April 14, 2017
But Donny, please come back to Washington if it does happen, not sure we need you going over war plans on the fine linens in the dining room, and if you don't come back maybe get a suite or go back out on the patio.
Thursday, April 13, 2017
I went through a quick list of promises
Build a big glorious 20 foot wall and have Mexico pay for it
So far, no wall and definitely no pesos
Build a bigger wall if Mexico refuses to pay for it
So far, still no wall and definitely no pesos
Create massive amounts of jobs
So far, job rate a little bit lower than under Obama and March numbers underwhelming
Repeal the horrible Obamacare
Obamacare still here
Replace with great wonderful new healthcare
Couldn't get great new healthcare through congress
Don't go to war with Syria
Sent 59 missiles and destroyed a cafeteria
On Day 1 officially call China a currency manipulator
On day 82 without much fanfare said China was not a currency manipulator
Janet Yellen is doing a terrible job
Janet Yellen might return
NATO is obsolete and consider pulling out
Declares NATO is no longer obsolete
Export-Import bank needs to be eliminated
export-import bank should stay
Unlike Obama he will not have enough time to play golf
Sent from my iPhone
Wednesday, April 12, 2017
There goes Don, totally man-spreading under the table like he's some frat boy on the D train. He's encroaching so far into Elaine Chao's personal space that Mitch may come over and tell him that he's a meanie. But this is Trump, always try to use whatever tactic to make it know that he's right there.
Sadly for Melania, there are rumors that he stuffs a sock in his pants right after the scotch tapes his tie to his shirt
Tuesday, April 11, 2017
When the headline on every news site says that you are apologizing "for your Hitler remarks", you know that you are having a bad day. Poor Sean, so dumb, so poorly cast in this role, such a closet antisemite.
Spicer hasn't had an easy run, it actually has gone downhill since the photo of him dressed like the Easter Bunny made the rounds a few months ago. He's a true moron but you'd have to think he has one of the hardest and least enviable jobs in the world, although I'm assuming at least he gets paid well. The problem is that his days are numbered, it just can't keep going like this with poor Sean shoving his big pale white foot in his mouth time and time again. The funny thing is that all the talk was about his original comments which stated that Hitler hadn't used chemical weapons, which whatever justification he had was poorly thought through and just plain dumb. What we thought was more troubling was that when a reporter gave him an out a few minutes later to let him explain himself, he went with the "Hitler didn't use chemical weapons against his own people". Nice to see that Sean doesn't equate Jews, gypsies, blacks and gays to "his own people" and then he topped it off with Holocaust Centers which sounds like a museum I went to in high school.
The entire time you are watching you just think Sean, just.shut.up.
The only person who was happy today was the CEO of United Airlines who likely sent Sean flowers
Monday, April 10, 2017
Apparently a flight crew had to get to Louisville yesterday and after nobody voluntarily gave up their seat, United played some Russian Roulette and some poor nerdy Asian guy got the short straw.
This poor dude who just wanted to go home to see his kids or let his dog out showed up at the airport and figured the hard part was done. But instead of flying the friendly skies, he took an armrest to his face and was dragged off like a WWE heel, as three goons beat the guy to a bloody pulp . I'm always a guy who tries to see the other perspective but this is the kind of situation where the force used by one party seems to be hard to justify based on the fact that the Asian guy didn't want to give up his paid for seat and be stuck in their shitty city for another night.
I understand the logistical issues United must have had with getting a flight crew to Louisville for another flight but I'm not quite sure treating this Asian dude like a piñata is such a hot idea, either.
So F you United for your crappy customer service, your idiotic leggings rules and the fact that Newark Airport blows donkey.
Sunday, April 9, 2017
Three days after we sent $80 million worth of Tomahawk missiles, that airfield from where the chemical attacks were launched was back as basically operational. We're not talking about rebuilding an entire new Death Star, we're talking about a new coat of paint, a couple of pounds of cement and a new cafeteria and all of a sudden direct flight to Damascus where back on the schedule. Planes were landing, bags were loaded, planes were off, peanuts were being served and people complained about blankets and pillows. Delta cancelled 3000 flights this week because of a rain storm in Atlanta but after $80 million worth of missiles they were back on track..
So Donald, maybe the targeted attacks that the weakling Obama was sending out there, were maybe not all that different from your prime time disco party and maybe, they were actually much more effective
But least Trump got to changed the narrative
Saturday, April 8, 2017
Trump speaks like he has the vocabulary of a tenth grader and delivers it like he's an autistic ten year old. Putin's "incensed" reaction the next morning comes across as robotic, although in fairness he is Russian and if Rocky IV taught us anything, they have no emotions.
But as bad a Putin is, the Trump press conference was worse. It was honestly one of the most uncomfortable ones I have ever seen, not because of the words he used but the fact that he looks like a ten year old reading them. He is so odd when he's forced to stick to a script, especially when he is asked to show emotion that you cringe hoping he doesn't get to a four syllable word. I think his vehement hatred for the TelePrompter stems from the fact that he can't read.
But it did accomplish the goal of taking the secret powwows of Kushner and Russia off the front page. Devin Nunes has gone back to obscurity and it's only a matter of time that Trump brings back Manafort.
Friday, April 7, 2017
Sent from my iPhone
Thursday, April 6, 2017
Hillary called for this exact thing earlier today and when I read that, I agreed with her and I agree with this move tonight, too. This is likely just a broken clock being right two times per day as I have no faith that Trump thought this through and weighed the repercussions but if taken as an isolated incident, it was necessary. This could even have been coordinated with Russia and is most certainly has some wag-the-dog stuff behind it. The one thing that Trump did tonight is show the world that on this scale he is a loose cannon, this doesn't bode well most of the time but I have to think that up until two hours ago, Assad thought Trump was a paper tiger. I guarantee that tonight he is thinking twice about dropping another chemical weapon and if this prevents another situation like yesterday, than so be it. The attack was on a military target and there are no (reported) civilian casualties
The fat Korean better watch out because his kimchee is going to taste like uranium at this rate.
Wednesday, April 5, 2017
True, Manafort had been given the Pete Best treatment but the rest of the gang was all there. Flynn, Bannon, Miller, Kushner and Conway.
But then one by one the cracks started to show, the house of gold was actually just a cheap Chinese knockoff, everybody assumed Manafort was a one-off but he was an example of the systemic issue riddling the administration. Nobody could be trusted, nobody could turn around without feeling a knife come right into their spine. The leaking has been unprecedented, the controversies unrelenting and the press unmerciful, yet still, through it all, their John Lennon, has stayed the course, even if that course seems to be that of a drunk driver having an epileptic seizure while battling a nest of hornets while blindfolded.
But there he went, with no real agenda, no plan, no ideology, no moral compass and no sense of decency, wildly driving into the night in a stationwagon with the entire country in the backseat with no seat belts, car seats and all the windows locked.
Well Bannon is on the way out, in an apparent power struggle with Kushner, Tillerson is minimized in an apparent power play by Kushner and Putin is emboldened by an apparent lack of keeping his pants on by Kushner's father in law.
Miller is likely next, although I suspect that will come down when the FBI raids his laptop and they won't be looking for the kinds of things Jared Kushner will have been looking at, but rather the kind of things that Jared from Subway may have been looking at
Tuesday, April 4, 2017
Sent from my iPhone
Monday, April 3, 2017
There were things I didn't love (hipsters), things I despised (parking) and things I just didn't understand (white families trying to submerge their white kids in Japanese) but throughout it all, it was always great even with its flaws. But somehow, with everything it had, everything it offered, everything it wanted to be, it lacked something. Maybe it's the fact that all those yuppies moved in, maybe it was the fact the rent went stupid, maybe it is because Brooklyn lost its edge or maybe it was because the entire borough didn't have a single avocado bar. But those days are now over, Brooklyn is now perfect. You can go from a cat petting place, to a rodeo, to a avocado bar all within about thirty minutes
It is heaven
Sunday, April 2, 2017
But really, Sexy Rexy is just the eye candy because Trump has already farmed out all the important jobs to Kushner. First Kushner got the job to bring peace in the Middle East and now it comes out that he's been the go-between through a secret channel between presidents Trump and Xi. I know that Trump believes in loyalty and family above all else, but Kushner is 36 and barely out of diapers and has less experience on the prod stage than even Trump
Not sure this will end well.
Saturday, April 1, 2017
One and thirty Kasich
and now add Sleepy Eyed Chuck Todd to the mix. It's Saturday which means two things in the capital, 1- Kushner is observing Shabbat which means that 2- Old mean Trump is allowed to do as he pleases with his little phone.
Of course he referenced a FoxNews report using anonymous congressional aid sources to double down on his stupid wiretapping claims but he didn't stop there, he went after the failing New York Times and then attacked a guy who seems about as partisan as a a peanut butter sandwich. I don't love Chuck Todd and he certainly is no Russert but the reason he isn't covering the Obama Surveillance Scandal because it would be like him covering Santa's arrival from the North Pole