Take on 18 weeks

We all know that the NFL's goal has always been to get to 18 regular season games, player safety be damned. The first part was this half measure to 17 games but yesterday Goodell went all in. I get the appeal for the NFL (another weekend of games) plus the fact the Super Bowl would now fall on President's weekend . but always thought they could accomplish this the same way with player safety in mind. They could add a second bye week which would still get you that extra weekend of games as obviously there are still games when some teams have byes, they still get you to play on President'a weekend with an extra week built into the schedule and players brains may not turn into as much mush. Everybody wins.

Take on the Harvey Weinstein sex crime overturned conviction

The fact that Harvey Weinstein may walk is one of the great injustices we have seen since OJ's trial. We obviously know that even if he gets off on this appeal trial, he'll be a social pariah but I'm not happy enough with this. The man's face looks like a wrinkled scrotum sack but his fame and power was the only thing that got him close to any woman…and then he took advantage of that. He's a complete utter pig

Take onReggie Bush getting his 2005 Heisman Trophy back

The idea that Reggie Bush was going to be a scapegoat for life never sat well. We know he did stuff he wasn't supposed to but we also know that basically every five star college athlete has had boosters putting envelopes in his or her pockets for decades. This is like denying Bonds and Clemens into the baseball Hall of Fame but letting that big slob Big Papi in. Screw that blowhard and screw boring ass baseball

Take on the Port Authority stabbing

Body who has to commute into the city by bus will tell you what an absolute hellhole Port Authority is. It's crowded, smells likes rotting flesh, has leaking ceilings and has no airflow. One thing it typically is though is relatively safe. But not for some poor construction worker
waiting for a bus. The poor guy is just minding his business buried in boom when he gets stabbed 9 times. I'm not one to hate on the city but this mental health crisis in public transportation is something we need to take care of. It seems somebody is getting thrown into a subway or stabbed at a bus stop like once per week

Take on the little Pecker

David Pecker will be the first witness in Trump's hush money trial and finally the world will get to meet one of the sleaziest humans alive. This guy has made his fortune in tabloid news including schemes where he'd pay for stories to just keep them under wraps. What I never understood is who actually takes anything from that rag seriously, why even bother to pay to dump it.

Take on Eric Adams

Why any lawmaker would extend Eric Adams' power bees to be recalled as this man deserves no such opportunity . I'm sure that after his tenure, we will two cycles of Republican mayors who will force us all to live in fear.

Thanks Eric!!

Take on the jury trial

We have a jury and it's time for Trump to start having to answer the music. Nobody ever imagined we'd ever get here but on the eve of the first criminal trial for an ex president, it's time for us all to step up. We are thrilled with the fact that he'll finally be held to task for what he's been doing for the last few decades.

Take on the jurors

Trumps jurors were chosen today and looking at the list the one that is most clear is that none of them have children. I'm not sure why that stood out to me but it did mostly as I wonder if people who don't have offspring may not have the same long time life outlook and may be more likely to support the orange buffoon. But I'm just hoping they come in with a clear head and no preconceived notions so that the case can be tried without too much drama

Take on mental decline

Routine jobs raise the risk for cognitive decline by 66% according to a recent study and it reminded me again how horribly mundane our lives are. We all wake up in the same bed, commute to the same job, eat the same lunch and go home on the same train all while doing the same thing and I wonder why we don't just end the entire experiment now and go directly to the credits.

Take on Sleepy Don

Sleepy Don couldn't stay awake during his own criminal trial and we are only two days into it and so far nothing of any consequence has happened. I know this won't be pleasant for him but that makes this entire thing so much better, knowing he's totally miserable and riddled with insecurities which he can't placate from inside that courtroom

Take on the draft

No one has done more for women's basketball than Caitlin Clark. She was an amazing collegiate and will likely be an amazing pro but the truth is she'll be vastly underpaid. I'm not comparing her to Lebron or Steph in terms of her expected earnings but rather to the fact that she's the face of her sport and is fill being paid worse than some uniform manager on an NBA team.
I also realize the women's game doesn't bring in the revenue that the men's game does but let's get this woman her due.

Take on the stormy case

All eyes will be on a little courtroom this week to see Trump finally have to come up for trial. I can't wait to see him finally have to face the music but he'll likely make a gigantic show out of it and convince his minions that this is all a good idea to send him more money.

Take on reality TV

With the divorce of the Golden Bachelor, maybe it's time to retire this entire genre. Think about what we've gotten out of this reality TV. We've gotten horrible dating shows, we got the Kardashians and we got Trump. I can't any America can believe this was worth the money they saved on screenwriters

Take on Trumpidy

I'm so sick of hearing Trump try to delay these trials. We know this is what he has always done but at some point we as a country need a resolution. This entire thing has been dragging way too long and I need a resolution like five weeks ago

Take on OJ


When OJ was found dead today, it was one of the few times I recall feeling genuinely happy in somebody else's demise. I mean, nobody ever doubted he killed Nicole and Ron and I was always comforted knowing he lived his last 30 years in misery.
But what annoys me more is that his trial eventually brought us the entire Kardashian clan. If it weren't for him, Papa Kardashian may never had any notoriety and his stupid wife and daughters could have just lived a life of anonymity as the untalented whences they all are. And I'm convinced that had they never having hit the spotlight we would have likely avoided Trump

Take on Biggie

I think the estate of Biggie has a lawsuit against Target for their baby wipes. I walked past this thing and immediately thought of the B.I.G and I'm sure I wasn't the only one. Although I'm not sure if it will actually sell wipes other than to anybody with the age of 40-50

Anyway, RIP from Biggie Balls

Take on dumb

The amount of people I saw staring directly onto the sun yesterday was insanely shocking. I can't tell you that the eclipse was life changing but it was certainly cool and spending $3 on some crappy glasses seemed well worth it. The fact that some people still thought looking directly up was a good idea just tells you why survival of the fittest is something we need to revisit.

Take on the total eclipse

The entire country came to a standstill today as we got the eclipses of the century, or at last the last one till like 2099. We spent all day in anticipation and finally got to stare up into the sky with our flimsy 7/11 glasses. What I have to say is that the best part of it was that for about an hour, NYC was quiet.

The cars stopped honking, the guys slouched over stopped shooting up, the rats retreated and the E-bike delivery guys didn't run me off the road. For like 5 minutes, we got peace. I hope it's not 2099 till we get that again

Take on the eclipse

The eclipse is going to be a big deal tomorrow, and I'm certainly looking forward to not looking directly at it. I can't believe though that they are calling this a once in a lifetime experience as I could have sworn we've had a couple of these in the last decade or so

Anyway, don't look directly into it tomorrow

Take on the loveless marriage

Melanie appeared next to her husband at a campaign stop today which marked the first time in months by my count after Trump brought Barron into the race

We know that each time she does, it helps his rating and we also know she's compensated heavily for it.
In. It sure if she frowns because she hates all he stands for or because he stinks of old sock, ketchup and urine

Take on the major earthquake

The earthy of the century hit the city today and what was most obvious was that nobody had any idea what we should do. Nobody hid under a desk or ran to a doorframe, we all just hung out and stared at each other and then went to social media to post about how crazy that was.
God forbid we got hit with something real

Take on the new health recommendation to avoid decaf

Health experts suggested a glass of wine per night helped your heart the they backtracked and said even alcoholic moderation is bad. We are told that you should not eat sweets, carbs, greasy foods, anything with an ingredient you can't pronounce, red meat, white meat, egg yolks, farmed fish, large fish, salty anything, spiced flavors, most drinks and anything cooked over a certain temperature

Today I'm told that decaf coffee is also bad for you, this is coming from a guy who is trying to supplement some coffee for decaf which was already taking one of my last pleasures away.

It's to the point that health experts basically want to jump off a bridge as any indulgence will shorten your life, so give it all up so you can live a long (miserable) life.

Take on the marathon congestion pricing

The MTA is adding congestion pricing, police in the subways and now wants to charge marathoners to cross the Verrazano bridge because of what they say is lost revenue for the bridge being closed for a few hours

What is insane with this math is who driving to NYC from Staten Island at 8am on a random November Sunday anyway…especially when there is a marathon going on. It's not the bridge being closed that stops people from using it, it is that there literally is no reason to drive into the city that day as the entire place is shut down.

Plus if you think of it as a revenue loss, what about the millions of spectators that run around the city on the subways to catch the racers, all those metro card swipes must offset the bridge costs.

Plus you are just destroying a NYC institution.

Take on the redesigned German Adidas soccer jersey

The number 44 soccer jersey for Germany is going to be the hot ticket this year. Not because they got some young stud striker or defenseman but because the geniuses at adidas never thought making it look like an SS logo was a bad idea.

I can't tell you anything about it shirt design but I can tell hi that this might not be the best look going for a country with that history.

Take on Truth social

The fact that Truth Social is taking a bath isn't shocking. Not only does it not have the traffic that its initial stock price indicated, it's a one trick pony. We all know that the second Trump decides to stop posting, the thing will become a complete wasteland. But that would serve them all right

Take on the power of MTG

MTG wants a new speaker and she'll likely succeed as her interest in stability is completely non existent. We don't care who they elect as one is worse than the other but what has been clear is that she now has way too much power and has basically become a king maker of her own. I don't think anybody thinks three toes is a good option to play this role but she's done an incredible job of positioning herself to be one of the most powerful people in Washington.
The day we get her out, will be one of the best days of our political lives

Take on the Conjoined twin Abby Hensel now married to Army veteran

I love a happy ending and nothing played into that more than those conjoined twins getting married a year or so ago. Obviously,
It lead to some questions including how the hell they consent being they share all organs below the belt. Also, the question about intimacy can't be easy when your sister is right there hang out and does beg the question if she is asked to cover her face or something

Anyway, good on them and good on TLC for being able to offer more riveting TV

Take on the auto gratuity for kitchen staff

I went out to dinner last night in Harvard Square to an awesome fancy pizza place. Service was great, pizza was terrific, drinks were cold and place was crowded. But when we got the check I noticed that had added an auto gratuity which was odd for a table of five but then they also added another additional auto gratuity for the kitchen staff. In all for getting those guys more money but why doesn't this restaurant just pay their staff more than put it back on me?? This is a place where this isn't my direct responsibility, to me they should raise their pizza prices by that percentage and stop nickel and dining me.

Take on the home Reno

Over spent the last three hours looking at paint swatches on my phone trying to imagine what they'd look like on my living room walls and I have to say that renovating your house is basically asking to be killed by a million paper cuts. Every last decision is mind numbing, I spend hours debating whether we need nobs or handles and if we do get handles what length they should be and which direction they need to be in. We discuss the backsplash and the color of the crown molding. It's the most painful thing I can ever imagine doing and I regret every single decision we've made so far, mostly the first one to do anything at all

Take on Trump bibles

There is literally nothing that Trump won't throw his name on to try to make a buck. Whether it's vodka or airlines or steaks, he has no shame Today he's selling $59.99 bibles which is interesting in the sense that the heft time he reads the Bible will be the first time. But he knows his audience and this will be a great little get rich scheme for him because his people will buy anything with his name on it.

Take on the cargo ship

Every once in a while as I'm driving on the Merritt Parkway, some box car will get caught under an overpass. There are signs everywhere with the height limit and each time it happens you wonder if the driver just doesn't read.

Today's bridge accident reminds you of that, except this one was more tragic

But it does beg the question, maybe we should be giving an aptitude test along with a basic math test for number recognition before handing out cargo captain licenses.

Take on Trump’s Multibillion-Dollar Social Media Company

I am not smart enough where private equity puts their money but the fact that Trump's social media company is being valued at $6billion is insane. I'm not sure what it's worth but it has like 0.5% of the users of X and the day Trump dies, nobody will ever go there shah. On top of that, it only had $3.3M in revenue in the first nine months of last year, I am no genius but explain how that math work, a website that had the same revenue as a local TGI Fridays is worth $6Billion?!?

Take on Lisa Murkowski,

Lisa Murkowski won't vote for Trump and may also leave the entire GOP and there finally seems to be some semblance of normalcy coming back to DC. A lot of the old guard seems to be standing up against Trump which is a welcome sign after they all kissed the ground he walked in for the better part of a decade.
I know the idea is for Susan Collins to join her but I'd like to keep her as far away from the democrats as possible as her judgment is shot.

Take on Ghostbusters Frozen Empire

On a day where we practically sat through a monsoon, I assumed nothing could make the day any worse….until I went to the movies. I wasn't expecting much but thought at minimum I'd get some nostalgia when we decided to watch Ghostbusters Frozen Empire. I can't imagine being more disappointed in a sequel than this. I mean Ghostbusters II sucked also and people seem to hate the third one but I always assumed it was because they were just anti girls. This one looked sort of half good and with the return of the old timers, could at least be a nice walk down memory lane.
But this one is about as bad as it gets. The action sucks, the story line is convoluted and it has more characters than a daytime soap opera.

The best part was the fact I fell asleep for 45 minutes.

Take on the Shohei Ohtani’s interpreter

I don't know much but I do know when something smells fishy, it usually means somebody opened a can of tuna. When I saw Ohtani had first given his interpreter $4.5M and then a few hours later claimed it was fraudulently taken from him, I was like "yeah, not buying it". I'm sure this is just some lame attempt to cover up direct betting and I'm guessing that by the time the regular season rolls around, he'll get some elbow tightness and spend the next year in Japan "rehabbing."

Take on Menendez

Nothing feels more corrupt than how these old time democrats run their own show. There is no reason that Bob Menendez was able to keep his seat after the last corruption charges and the fact he is still in office is a travesty to democracy

So I gotta think him not running for his seat is progress. Unless this jackass pulls and RFK jr.

Take on PreCheck

Flying has never been more complicated but with all of it, the ability to get through some of the lines a bit more quickly has been a godsend for frequent travelers. The odd thing now is that you show up and it feels like Russian Roulette to figure out which of the lines to go on. CLEAR was the obvious choice as it was starting up as PreCheck had gotten crazy and people weren't ready for a retina scan. Now they introduced Digital ID which seems like the TSA version of CLEAR as I can't see to find any difference. What it does do is force you to choose between four possible lines and like the NJ turnpike toll-station of old, it's impossible to guess the quickest one.

Take on another Royal photo

Kate Middleton is quite the amateur photographer and although it should be an innocent hobby, she seems she has once again created a fire storm around the fact she keeps altering photos and then releasing them. The one that they are complaint about is innocent enough photo of the late queen and her grandkids but somehow Kate decided to remove some blemishes, tuck in some double chins and straighten some teeth and now she is even more hated than before because every good Brit knows you don't mess with the teeth.

Take on the “Kate” sighting

When TMZ released a video claiming it was William and Kate basically sprinting across a parking lot carrying 40 bags, I was skeptical. First of all, I doubt those two would be found shopping at anH&M on a random Saturday. Secondly, the fact they were waking at Charlie Chaplin pace was also off but the thing that blew my mind was that although "Kate" was clearly a white chick but that was the only thing that matches. Not sure who we are trying to fool but maybe time to give up.

Take on the ex golfer in chief.

Trump pulled a Kim Jung Un and won his own golf tournament for a record 30th time in a row I could care less about his winning these meaningless self serving trophies but the fact that he's got a gallery like the 18th green at Augusta to see him win some sham thing is all too telling.

Take on Elon’s new haircut

Elon Musk is at that point in his life where he just doesn't care. He's got this horrible haircut which makes his puffy face look even fatter and his eyes even bulgier. I'm not sure what his appeal now is but when you look kind of like a sponge it might be to hit the gym and run about a marathon on the treadmill

Take on Pence

Mike Pence said today that he cannot in good conscience endorse Donald Trump which is only the second time he's ever done something that isn't totally spineless. Of course Pence being Pence will likely do his normal weasel thing and come crawling back but for now the fact that some of the old guard GOP establishment hasn't completely fallen in line gives you some hope.

Take on the new MLB mismatched uniforms

Not only are the new MLB baseball pants see-through, apparently they also don't seem to match the color of the jerseys. I'm not an overly complicated man and my fashion commentary is typically limited to flats with skirts or white pants on white dudes but when you are asking me to watch some 3 hour turtle race, you can't also rage my OCD and expect me to sit quietly.

Take on the house vote on TikTok

With the house vote to ban TikTok a thousand parents of teenagers rejoiced!!
I have no fear of spying when it comes to 15 year olds but anything that can take that godawful app out of their hands for any time at all is a godsend. It's time they do the same for Snapchat too

Get off my law !!

Take on the R.F.K. Jr.’s List for Running Mate

The most Jetsy ever would be if Aaron Rodgers decided to join RFK Jr on the campaign trail as his vice presidential running mate. It would be the prefect ending to his perfect Jets career spanning 4 plays and two offseason, a blow Achilles and a lot of drama. People have asked whether the Jet fans would be pissed, my suggestion is they take Woody with them.

The only problem is that he might not get the bid and Jesse Ventura may instead which is a shame for old Aaron.

I mean when you are less qualified than a former wrestler, it may be time to hang them up.
But if they joined forces dumped Kennedy and ran as a 1-2 punch they could be a perfect tag team..I'm pushing for Achilles and the heel

Take on Chubb

The fact that Trump admitted to being 279 pounds in the same week that he got Chubb to post bail for him is a bit too rich. We know he is a complete mess when it comes to his body and there is nobody who wants to see him anywhere near a pool but I still can't stand the fact that he will get away with these settlements with these oversized bonds that somehow will never be paid

Take on the royal photo

Everybody is all bothered by some photo the palace put out of Kate Middleton. We realize that she's not well and they are trying to give the appearance of a happy life but this photo is a bit bizarre. The little kid has some weird knuckle, the daughter has a hand that comes out of her sleeve at a weird angle, the leaves are too green and her jawline isn't authentic.

Other than that, all is well.

Take on the UFC

Trump showing up at a UFC event is about as predictable as Joe Rogan dying of a FiveHourEnergy overdose. I know his constituency is all there anyway, so it sort of allows him to turn a Saturday night into a campaign event which he will be able to write off.

Oh well. Hope he gets blood on his gigantic suit

Take on the SOTU

The criticism of the State of the Union may have been that it was too political but in this hyper political climate it's impossible to imagine it was ever going to anywhere else. I've been watching state of unions for years and most of them are completely unbearably unmemorable I'm glad it at least wasn't totally boring

Take on Mike “Hope she touches my” Johnson

Nobody is a bigger doucebag than Mike Johnson who somehow makes Mike Pence looks like a good time. He was standing next to Boebert hands folded over his little winkie and you can just read the thought-bubble hoping that they are going to Beetlejuice.