Friday, April 29, 2016
Thursday, April 28, 2016
Wednesday, April 27, 2016
Somehow these corporate cafes and restaurants are big business in Asia, I just don't get the appeal
Tuesday, April 26, 2016
You wonder why the average Korean man dude looks like Grimace is because they are having two of these for breakfast??
Monday, April 25, 2016
Let's just hope they aren't monitoring US blogs about ladies shoes and ugly feet and think that the Big Head with a Bad Haircut comments about their fat leader are some kind provocation
Sunday, April 24, 2016
I'd rather eat bull balls I think.
Saturday, April 23, 2016
When she finally delivers it, she hands me a fork and spoon. How many people eat Asian noodles with a fork?? I ask for chopsticks and she looks at me like I have three heads
This week is going to be great.
Friday, April 22, 2016
This is the official list of preference of people to sit behind at a car wash from most desirable to least
- convertible sportscar. The middle aged balding dude is just cruising around on the weekends, he isn't eating it in and probably keeps it cleaner than my toothbrush
- sedan. Some grandmother is driving this thing, she might have a few depends thrown in the back but it should be relatively clean
- Jeep. Yeah it might have some crap but it's probably bags of McDonalds and soda cans which clean up quickly.
- luxury SUV. It could be a mess but they probably bring it in often enough not to worry about it too much
- Prius nobody who cares that much about the environment and that little about their own appearance would litter in their own golf cart
- pickup truck. Might be a spittoon of a few cans of Bud Lite but there just isn't that much space.
- dump truck
- garbage truck
Thursday, April 21, 2016
The sad thing for Trump and his knuckle dragging supporters is that Lyin' Ted's been much better at getting the right guys on his side and his operation has such an advantage when it comes to actually knowing the rules even if nobody likes him even a little bit.
Wednesday, April 20, 2016
Well this is a suggestion for the hipsters, if you are looking for the next thing...how about subway vinyl. Your friends and neighbors would be so impressed when they walk into your no window kitchen with the particle board cabinets and the stainless steel looking dishwasher and look down and see that brown and paint splattered flooring. To make it even more authentic add some homeless urine, Chinatown toe-nails and flasher ejaculate. You'll be the envy of all of Billyburg
Tuesday, April 19, 2016
Monday, April 18, 2016
I have had a Chick-Fil-A accidentally and I have to admit it is delicious, the problem is, of course, their anti-gay stance but somehow the liberal Mecca in New York doesn't seem to care.
So I ask, are we a city who cares about equality or are we a city who loves delicious chicken because you can't be both..
Sunday, April 17, 2016
Saturday, April 16, 2016
My disgusting body some how managed to split my belt like a wine glass at a Jewish wedding right at the spot where the nub goes into the belt hole. So now I'm standing at a reception with a belt I had to tape together, nothing but class coming out of the Old Righetti
Friday, April 15, 2016
So I guess we'll have Rocawear sponsor the Nets, Cablevision sponsoring the Knicks and Aetna sponsor Derrick Rose's new knee
Thursday, April 14, 2016
There must be a smarter way to do reach an audience which might actually be in Florida. novel ideal right?
Wednesday, April 13, 2016
Tuesday, April 12, 2016
$105 later I got a pair of Torrent glasses which is more than I have spent on an accessory ever
Monday, April 11, 2016
I just can't win.
Sunday, April 10, 2016
Saturday, April 9, 2016
A lot has changed since I last saw the "real" GNR live (I did catch the Axl led GNR a few years ago which was actually awesome). Last time I was a 16 year old kid, 165 pounds soaking wet with hair down to his ass when I caught GNR and Metallica at Giants Stadium with opening act Faith No More. I was easily one of the youngest kids in the audience and I sat so far away that I may as well have been at Brendan Byrne Arena but it was the highlight of my summer and probably my childhood. Faith No More played an hour, Metallica played three hours and then after a two hour break, GNR came on and played 3 hours. It was 95 degrees and I snuck a beer from my seat neighbor and I was in absolute heaven. It was also the first time I saw a pair of real tits when a very drunk chick flashed me, so you can see how this was the biggest highlight of my childhood
But today will likely look a bit different, Axl is 150 pounds heavier (and in a foot cast), Duff looks like a deflated balloon and Dizzy Reed probably looks like a washed up roadie and I'm sure the audience will be filled with the same 23 year old chick who flashed me..except now she'll be 47 with a mortgage, a couple of kids and a CRV although if she did flash me again, I wouldn't complain. I'm sure the rest of tonight's audience will be similar as I've seen the crew in the hotel hanging poolside and eating at PF Changs but still...There is nothing better than this.
Will send over the set list tonight
Friday, April 8, 2016
1- where is the nearest exit so that I can shove women and children aside like I am a deranged George Costanza
2- is there any chance I can switch seats with somebody so they can sit next to the 300 pound elephant sitting next to me
3- is there a TV as I can't imagine stating at the back of the seat in front of me for the next 5 hours like some kind of lunatic
Sadly, although many airplanes now have a built in entertainment set, they all basically suck. Yeah, on a few very special planes (i.e. Planes built this century) they are actually pretty great with a lot of choices, good sound quality and a screen which is at least the size of a tablet but most airplanes come equipped with these little dinky LED screens which are so unresponsive you are literally jabbing it ten times to hope to change a channel or turn up the volume which I am sure my front big or appreciates. Then again that dude is one of those 300 pound elephants so I doubt he feels anything and neither do his neighbors as he has places a part of his gut on each of their laps
This is complete torture
Thursday, April 7, 2016
Move over Kobayashi, move over Joey Chestnut, move over Matt Stonie and move over Black Widow because NYC has it's newest contender for the Nathan's Hot Dog competition although he's got about as good a shot at winning that as he does at being president.. John Kasich put down a sandwich over at Mike Deli in the Bronx and looked like he was channeling his inner Matt Stonie.
He threw down this sandwich and looked like he regurgitated it immediately which I'm sure will ingratiate him with NY Voters because nothing make me want to vote for a guy more than a guy who looks like he is about to puke all over his payless shoes.
thanks John, don't let the door hit you in the ass on your way out of the state.
Wednesday, April 6, 2016
Tuesday, April 5, 2016
Anyway, recently the excuse we have gotten is a "delineator replacement" which seems like total crap since They have used that excuse at least three times in a week. You would think that by now they would have fixed that stupid delineator, whatever the hell that is anyway.
But one that they have been
Monday, April 4, 2016
Sunday, April 3, 2016
https://www.lightbulbs.com/product/tcp-32058/?source=GooglePPC-ProductAds&gclid=CKOFsLbd88sCFRJbhgodFtMCOg) but when it showed up it looked like a cruel joke. The thing was three sizes too small and now I am stuck with some stupid double round bulb that I have no home for at all. I cannot find the one I need and not sure what the hell to do
I might just move
I might just move
Saturday, April 2, 2016
Friday, April 1, 2016
TOR will be in Vegas next week on the 2nd night of their official tour but there's something awesome about them playing at some place with smoke in the air, piss on the floor and booze all over the walls....I had serious thoughts of jumping on a flight to LAX tonight