Saturday, July 21, 2018
Friday, July 20, 2018
I just have to hope that they throw Stone into Cell Block and pair him with the horniest meathead they can find and hopefully drop ten viagras in his soup before sending him off to sleep
Thursday, July 19, 2018
But today it peeked my interest when that mini controversy erupted. The French Embassy sent an official letter to the Daily Show to complain about it and proved again why the French gave the worse sense of humor amongst all of the Europeans which is like calling them the shortest midget or the stinkiest European.
It's a comedy show, it's entire premise is to make fun of everything, it's a black guy making a joke about black people. These are all acceptable even in a pre-Trump world
Do yourself a favor Gerard, turn the TV off and kick yourself in your uncut, unwashed, sheltered French dick
Wednesday, July 18, 2018
Tuesday, July 17, 2018
But what really got to me was how Andre the Giant weird looking Trump is next to Putin. He's got this gigantic head, these weirdly fitting suits and these eyes like he just snorted a line of coke off of a Finnish hooker's ass. He also has these weird shoulders which slope like a Helsinki roof and of course his complexion always makes him look like he contracted some weird face STD.
Glad that we decided this was the guy we want representing our country on a world stage.
Monday, July 16, 2018
Sunday, July 15, 2018
And tomorrow our president will pay his respects to him and likely bow down to our new communist overlord
Saturday, July 14, 2018
Then I shook myself back to reality and realized that rich people love staying rich. He might be the CEO of a company who is trying to get off of traditional fossil fuels which certainly sounds like a position of the left, he is also the CEO of SpaceX, and we're sure he'd like to make sure there is tons of support for his -government funded- trips to outer space. For this he needs support across the aisles.
He'd also like massive support for infrastructure building like his super tube which goes both way and if he wants to swing right all manufacturing -including electric cars- likes deregulation. But mostly, he loves keeping more of his money and surely believes that the GOP is his way of keeping more of it and giving it to his heirs when and if he has any.
But at the end of the day, I'm sure he follows the Trump model and donated to both parties because that's the way rich guys play. Keep both parties happy, so when you need to call in a favor, they are taking your call.
So although we all had this impression that Musk was some liberal hero, he has in fact been exactly like a lot of rich guys.
Friday, July 13, 2018
The thrice divorced man once knows as America's Mayor has lost all his credibility in his days since 9/11. All the goodwill he built up after that day seems to have vanished as quickly as his hairline and now as the face to Trump's legal team he continues to embarrass himself including his tweet from today
|Mayor Rudy Giuliani (@RudyGiuliani)|
Peter Strzok's testimony was a disgrace. It taints the entire Mueller witchunt. President Trump is being investigated by people who possess pathological hatred for him. All the results of the investigation are "fruit of the poison tree" and should be dismissed.
But the thing that kills me most about Rudy is that when you see him, he always has his arms crossed in this way which makes it very obvious he has incredibly short arms or man-boobs, or both. It's so odd, his arms are so high over his body, he almost looks like he's getting smothered by his own triple chin.
Sent from my iPhone
Thursday, July 12, 2018
Wednesday, July 11, 2018
Tuesday, July 10, 2018
Sources are now telling NBC that Justice Kennedy personally negotiated his retirement with Trump which is why his former law clerk now will likely sit on the bench. This is the kind of thing that threw Rod Blagojevich in jail as a public position should never be open for negotiation
I've decided that having judges sit on the court for a lifetime is the kind of thing our forefathers got wrong. Nobody should be above the law of the land and holding positions till death leaves to tilts in the balance based only on the current administration which seems about as arbitrary as anything (especially when you consider the McConnell rule which doesn't allow for a nominee to get a hearing within a year of a presidential election)
I believe we should have them serve terms 18 year terms which would mean that each president gets two justices per four years.
Monday, July 9, 2018
Plus, he sounds like he might be related to Chuck Knoblauch, so you know he can't handle any real pressure
Sunday, July 8, 2018
JayZ said he made the Yankee cap more famous than Babe Ruth which is a ridiculous concept but Trump might actually have made the red cap more infamous than anybody including the guy from Limp Bizkit.
Saturday, July 7, 2018
But then again nobody has ever accused him of being all that bright.
Friday, July 6, 2018
This guy has about as much leadership as a bottle of Poland Spring and the intelligence of a paper weight
Thursday, July 5, 2018
Scott Pruitt might go down as the most corrupt person to have ever held a political office which is challenging considering the competition. He was a shitbag while leading Oklahoma but got to take his off-off Broadway okay to the big city and cash in big time. Sadly for Old Scott, his tenure was shortened and for once not because he couldn't keep his pants on (as far as we know) but because he refused to take his wallet out of them
His last paragraph about the sadness of not being able to service the president any longer really does read like some Chelsea level NYAC sauna porn
Wednesday, July 4, 2018
Happy 4th you miserable wench
Tuesday, July 3, 2018
The telltale signs that this "best selling books" tweet was not an original Trump Tweet
- no typos or misspellings
- was sent within minutes of another one, his stubby fingers don't think that fast
- there were no weird capitalization or punctuations even though "he" specifically mentioned why "he" capitalizes things.
- only one exclamation mark
Monday, July 2, 2018
We need to stop working in July if for no other reason that there is no possible way to ask 8 million people to put on deodorant
I hate NYC in the summer