Wednesday, February 21, 2018

Take on TrumpDating

Want to meet likeminded people? Feel that your "conservative" views aren't being taken seriously? Feel like the snowflakes in the liberal press are on a witch hunt for your Dear Leader!? We have the website for you. Discover love, romance and friendship -as long as it's heterosexual- on TrumpDating.com

I'm not sure if this is run by the same people selling Trump Wine, Trump Steaks and Trump Access but it seems that there is a market for this. There are so many forgotten people, ones living paycheck to paycheck, ones who go on African Safari's for exotic game, ones who feel Jesus speaks to them through Trump, ones who think coal is making a comeback, ones who think we should have AR-15s, ones who answer questions about Russian interference with "But Hillary". Ones who feel that as a blue collar, truck driving, church going American there is nobody who understands them like a NYC billionaire, on his third marriage with a trail of affairs in his wake, who refuses to knock Putin, who disparages minorities and who lives in a penthouse as far away from the riffraff as possible.

Sadly though, their male model has been convicted of having sex with an underage girl which I have to think is a no-no on the website. I think they just removed him and added Roy Moore instead

Tuesday, February 20, 2018

Take on Groundhog Day

Trump is agitated this morning, he's been binge watching Fox&Friends and hate tweeting to his heart's content.  

But today's 8:38 was a doozy when he claimed to have been tougher on Russia than Obama

My first thought was echoed online 

What facts?  Obama imposed sanctions. Trump refuses to. Trump has never said one bad thing about Putin or Russia. WTF is he talking about?



But then I remember, this is all part of the game.  just like that..he will turn the news cycle on its head and we will all forget about Porter, Kelly, The Schiff memo, the EPA etc.  

Trump is like living through Groundhog Day.   Everyday is a blank slate and nobody remembers what happened yesterday 





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Monday, February 19, 2018

Take on Tucker

I kind of feel bad for Tucker Carlson because the poor guy always looks so constipated. I'm not quite sure if he doesn't get enough fiber in his diet or if he should be drinking more water but every time I turn on FoxNews the guy looks like he is trying desperately to push out a gigantic hard turd and I'm not talking about a Bernie Goldberg. It must be hard to constantly manufacture new outrage, the last time I saw more than a few minutes he was saying that the Nunes memos were going to make the Pentagon papers look like a pimple on Bill O'Reilly's gigantic white ass. So I guess in part he was true as it referred to O'Reilly's gigantic white ass but the Nunes memo was the white head on top of that pimple

Somebody get this guy some prunes

Sunday, February 18, 2018

Take on the Russian curling doping scandal

Wait, the Russians competing under an Olympic flag because of doping got caught for doping again and this time it's for curling. I'm not sure what athletic prowess benefits a curling player but I'm assuming whatever it is, it's something that improves with steroids because otherwise this would be even dumber.
The Russians are a completely crooked bunch, they cheat at curling and our president doubts they tried to influence our election?!?? Open your eyes..what the heck is wrong with you people

Saturday, February 17, 2018

Take on Trump’s stupid thumbs up thing

There really is nothing more worse than when Donald Trump does that stupid Thumbs Up thing and when he does it at the most inappropriate times is when you just cringe. His tweet today with his "our entire nation w/one heavy heart continues to pray for the victims & their families in Parkland, FL. To teachers, law enforcement..." is so obviously not actually written by him but the stupid sh!t eating grin certainly is.

Friday, February 16, 2018

Take on the AirForce One decent

An otherwise innocuous video of Trump coming off of AirForce One caught my eye today because it shows you all you need to know about him (https://twitter.com/abc/status/964630941174870016)

I was watching because earlier reports said that the press Corp was removed from the plane when Melania arrived and shouting could be heard.  We know these two don't like each other much and he's gotten himself in nothing but trouble over the last few months as stories of one affair after another has taken center stage

So I was watching the video to see if there was any obvious tension, hand slapping, ass grabbing or whatever 

For a second he looks like he is going to be a gentleman and let's her go first but immediately they kind of jostle to get in front.  

His insatiable need to get all the press and be first throws any thought of chivalry out the door and he's shoulder to shoulder with her by the third step down.    Within ten steps Trump completely cuts her off and forces her to stumble but he hardly reacts, he just wants to make sure he gets down first

my five year old and three year old do the same thing 






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Thursday, February 15, 2018

Take on the @NYDailyNews ad algorithm

The algorithm for ad placement is broken, I cannot say it any other way

I was reading a story this morning about the Florida gunman and right smack in the middle of the article was an ad for SlideBelts. I have no idea what this thing is but it looks like the kind of thing Rambo would wear....and more importantly something I have no interest in wearing.

I get that in reading an article about gun violence but that doesn't mean I'm looking for an inspector gadget belt to protect myself, quite the contrary and when I'm reading about one of the most somber moments in a year, I think I'd rather see an ad for 1800 Flowers or better yet, none at all

Wednesday, February 14, 2018

Take on the sham fight

There was a story of a military fight between some paid Russian mercenaries and the US after the Russians tried to storm a base in Syria.   It got a bit of press because there were mass Russian casualties but not enough press for the right reasons..it's a gigantic sham 

This reminds me of two decades ago when I was doing some white collar boxing.  Basically a way to get into shape for a bunch of corporate nerds but we were doing it at a legit boxing gym.  

At one point they put on a showcase, basically a method to make money for the gym and show off their 'professional' fighters (guys making like $500-$1000 per fight).  They put me up against another white collar guy in the heavyweight division (I was a slob back then).  Gave us three rounds but we're instructed that I would win the second round and half of the third and the other guy would win the first and the other half of the third, so it ended in a draw 

we threw a few punches, I ate some leather, I didn't land much, did a lot of holding and grabbing and at the end the audience probably left disappointed but at least the appearance was a heavyweight fight.  It was all a -poorly- choreographed show and the audience was none the wiser. 

That's what's happening with these quasi fights in Syria.  Putin sends in some paid mercenaries to cause trouble, the US takes them out.   Trump looks like he is aggressive, Putin wipes his hands clean because this was the equivalent of Blackwater and everybody moves on with only the cost of a few hundred dead Russians.  So everybody wins 






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Tuesday, February 13, 2018

Take on Blue Apron for the poor

Call it Blue Apron for the poor

The new budget includes a program which would replace half of the food stamps that recipients get with boxes of healthy food delivered to their house. The idea is admirable but, like most things admirable taken on my Big Government, probably a disaster.

this will create a huge new federal government division to try to handle this something I'd think republicans aren't keen on and I'm not sure where taking choice away from Americans ever finds it's way into conservative lexicon.


Then lobbyists for every food group in the country will be descending upon Washington to get their bag of Doritos added to the list, the healthy part will be history in a week.


But if it were to be run right (actual healthy food, delivered quickly) it will lead to less food being consumed by poor Americans. Think about that healthy lunch your mom made you in middle school. Wheat bread, lettuce, tomato, lean turkey, an apple and some dried nuts. This entire brown bag ended up in the trash

Imagine if Michelle Obama had tried this, they may have tried to execute her for treason

Monday, February 12, 2018

Take on the official portraits

Barack and Michelle Obama's official portraits were revealed today and to call them terrible would be an understatement. Michelle's looks more like black Ellen than it does her and Obama and his weird bush reminds us of Sean Spicer hiding in his.

But this is about as bad as it gets for the Obama's. Their official portraits are sort of funky. The No Drama Obama thing was so perfectly executed that we basically turned one of the greatest orators of our time into something as bland as a ham and cheese sandwich. And still the GOP found flaws, Michelle had bare arms, Barack wore that tan suit and ate that burger with mustard, his outreach during the beer summit was lame, he spent too much time at home and not enough on the hill, his NCAA picks were chalk and her organic garden was basically treasonous.
That's what they had on him...

Sunday, February 11, 2018

Take on the Trojan Horse

Every time he says or does something outrageous, the media goes nuts, CNN puts on experts to see how he can survive and why he said what he did and everybody spends the next two days in a totally frenzy.   But this isn't some odd thing, it's by design. 

Trump just uses the rope-a-dope and waits for the Democrats, the moderates, the media, the sensible world etc to to punch themselves out.  Something they will do within a matter of days.   

The more I think about it, the more the GOP has perfectly used Trump...they let him get out there and make outlandish comments and use that as cover to constantly, slowly, move the line.   He blazes a trail, sets a few houses on fire and the GOP retreats a bit, but not all the way.  They just constantly make progress behind him.   The Democrats are way too busy trying to fight the dragon than to realize that they've lost major land already. 

There will be huge casualties for the GOP in November and likely more in 2020 but by then we may live in a very different country

Trump has gotten the tax cuts that the GOP has been promising for years through, he's gotten one SCOTUS and may get another not to mention many lower court justices, he's pulled back regulation, he's neutered the EPA, he's pushed back on clean energy and is getting approvals for more off shore drilling, his Secretary or Education may get some of those voucher programs, choice is under attack, the military complex is growing will be on high alert for the foreseeable future and earmarks will likely be back.  





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Saturday, February 10, 2018

Take on the Times story of the intelligence agency interest in info pawned by Russians

Trump reference a NY Times article this morning which alleged that Us intelligence agency had paid $100,000 to a Russian who was offering information on Trump
Reading the article, they were, apparently, looking for different information but that really isn't the story here. The story also isn't that Trump may in fact be tied up with Russians. The story here is that for the first time in a year, he forgot the "failing" part in front of NY Times
The man is starting to lose it

Friday, February 9, 2018

Take on Trump’s intelligence briefings

The. Washington post had a bombshell article today showing that Trump, unlike his predecessors, doesn't actually read he intelligence briefings prepared for him daily. This is despite the fact they have dumbed down the binder of information to a single page with bullet points, charts and a paint by number map. This has to be the least bombshell bombshell ever, this is like one of those snaps you threw on the concrete as a kid. Everybody knows that he has no actual intellectual curiosity, has no attention span and is likely not able to read

Thank god he's leading our country

Take on the Fab 5

There really is no picture that describes year 1 of the Trump presidency better than the one from a last summer. This was taken in that 9 day period when the Mooch was running things and the photo is like a real live Reservoir Dogs

You have Corey who was fired before he got into the White House, Omarosa who looks like she ate Reince Priebus, The Mooch who needs no introductions, Gorka who is a complete maniacal lunatic and the man of the hour who beat not just one wife but two of them (and likely a girlfriend too). I'm convinced that Hope Hicks is going through some serious Stockholm syndrome right about now.
The question is who is the fatter slob, Gorka, Omarosa or Porter??



If these are what Trump meant by the best people, I'd hate to see who he would turn down for the job

Wednesday, February 7, 2018

Take on the Bitcoin coin

There is something I don't get about Bitcoin. Ok there is a lot I don't get like why would anybody think this is a good investment, why would this ever be a good thing for our economy and why is the entire thing run by a Japanese underlord

But the real question is that every newscast or article about Bitcoin shows these coins with an uppercase B on them. Isn't this a virtual currency? So there aren't any actual coins and there isn't an actual design to a coin that doesn't exist, right?
It's as if we are talking about a great song and thy keep showing a picture of a bird. It's as if the entire media wants people to believe this has some actual intrinsic value like gold when in actuality it is the exact opposite of gold because gold is an actual physical thing and BitCoin is a complete mirage

Tuesday, February 6, 2018

Take on Trump’s stupid parade

We don't have the money to pay for health care, we can't seem to get the 40,000 homeless veterans off the streets and we have to find ways to cut entitlements but having a big North Korea type military parade is what we should do?!? I don't care what side of the aisle you are on or who you voted for, this entire idea is a gigantic cluster. It's going to cost millions, it's going to cause logistical headaches and it's totally unnecessary. We already have the largest military in the world, this is like LeBron James throwing a party to showcase his talent over a bunch of high-school kids.

Two points
- the military is never going to showcase any new weapons, stuff that are being made in dark labs at Lockheed. So whatever we will see will be relics of the Cold War and a bunch of crappy scud missiles

- if I were Kim Jung Un, I'd attack the US the second this parade starts because all of our crap is going to be on a parade route in DC instead of where is should be.

Monday, February 5, 2018

Take on the market collapse

Trump should thank his lucky stars that the State of the Union was last week and not this week. Since with the marker in a tailspin and more than a trillion of the 8 trillion dollar disappeared in 8 days with today being the worse single point loss in Wall Streets long history. It's obviously a weird number to quote since the total market is now 25,000 so a 1175 loss is statistically smaller than it would have been on a market cap of 10,000 or whatever. But Trump has embraced WallStreet and never given his predecessor an ounce of credit for it but I have to bet that Obama will be getting the blame for old Donnie when he wakes up tomorrow

I'm afraid to look at my 401k today and that was the only good thing this president had going for him.

Sunday, February 4, 2018

Take on Little Donny

I don't think that there will anything more gratifying than when Little Don gets sent to federal penitentiary for lying to the FBI, treason and just being a complete snarky jerk.
Today he came out and called the Nunes memo "sweet revenge". I read the memo and it had a bunch of a Revenge of the Nerds feel but not sure there was much more revenge. What it will hopefully do is eventually bring down the slimy weasel Nunes and show him to be the anti American traitor that he is.

Hope these guys bring plenty of Vaseline

Saturday, February 3, 2018

Take on the Father of the Year

I would happily have sent $1000 to the GoFundMe campaign of the dad who lunges after Larry Nassar and bundled it with a Father of the Year shirt, had he been charge with a crime. I know there is a certain level of decorum we're suppose to have, but had that been me standing up there speaking for my three daughters and there wouldn't have been a deputy strong enough to keep my rage down and there isn't one second where I'd feel anything but pride in having done it. The only solace this father -and the other parents of all the 250 some odd kids- should have is that in prison the one group that aren't looked upon very fondly are the kid touchers. I'm sure the warden will find a way to room with Biff and turn the light down and the music up

That's unless this loser doesn't take the easy way out.

Friday, February 2, 2018

Take on Trump’s really bad week.

Trump (and America)really had a bad week

First we get the report that although the economy added 200k jobs and wages grew, the black unemployment numbers rose.  I don't usually dig too deeply into those but Trump was the one trumpeting his achievement for the last week for it to just blow up in his face.    

All week, in anticipation of the Nunes memo, the market was a lead zeppelin with big drops on Monday and Tuesday and then a huge 666 point  drop today. 

Add to that the fact the Numes memo was a dud, and actually showed the fisa was started after George Papadapolous not because of the Steele dossier.   So much for Hannity's proclamation that this was the biggest deal since watergate 

And of course the news of Rick Gates' entire legal team resigning en masse which left him with only one guy, one who specializes in plea deals.  Something tells me old Ricky flipped on Don


You just know Mueller is foaming ar the mouth right now to bring the hammer 


Then you realize that this was all just one week... living in the world of Trump is like moving from one black-hole to another since there is a bend of time-space. A week feels like a year, a year feels like a decade and four years of this guy is going to fill up history books. 





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Thursday, February 1, 2018

Taken on the Failing Times

I like The NY Times but their recent desire to come across as fair to a fault is really sickening. They have in-depth Exposé about nazis, articles about what it's like in Trump Country, an entire editorial and opinion page dedicated to letters from supporters etc. But now it's bleeding into their normal newsfeed also.

Their Twitter feed had a headline today "President Trump boasted incorrectly that his State of the Union address drew the highest number of viewers in history". They way they frame it, Trump made an honest mistake when, in fact, he stated something so asinine in its boastfulness that it can only be seen as irresponsible. The sad thing for Trump is that when me makes these grandiose statements, they always can so easily be proven as false, he somehow makes himself look even dumber.

But the way the Times has approached this is like the kid who kisses up to the bulky hoping the bully won't shove him in the locker again. But we all know it's just a matter of time when Trump comes back with a Failing New York Times tweet and the entire press room goes into cardiac arrest while the editorial department feigns outrage.