The Cavaliers ended the longest active NBA championship drought a few months ago, the Cubs ended their 108 year drought which is really good news for the Arizona Cardinals who last won a championship 68 years (and two cities) ago. The Toronto Maple Leafs are the longest drought in hockey which is actually worse since they played in a league with only six teams but it's hockey so gives a crap.
Somehow nobody feels bad for the Cardinals, maybe it was because for years they were just a total doormat and it always felt weird that they were playing in the NFC East while located in Phoenix. I think it took until the Kurt Warner years for that team to actually start to compete, so I don't feel for them. Plus a team that moves around really should restart their clock with every address change.
Then you have the Lions, they truly suck but somehow they are just not that lovable. I can see their fans are pained but they got to see Barry Sanders every week and then got Calvin Johnson and don't forget about Kevin Jones and Marvin Jones and...actually they suck.
You have the Eagles but they booed Santa, so screw them
The Titans are up next but I don't count teams who move across the country, so they don't count. Plus they have Delanie Walker and DeMarco Murray and some Hawaiian at QB, so I'm sure they are 20+ years away.
You have the next two teams who are more just more lovable..the Browns who suck but do so in a really demoralizing way. At the end of each game there are a bunch of adult men with dog masks on crying in their schlitz. Plus they have the indignity of having seen the Ravens win twice.
Lastly, the Bills, a team which seemed destined to win multiple championships when I was a kid. Between Jim Kelly, Thurmond Thomas, Andre Reed and Bruce Smith you would have thought Bufallo could have been title town even if they had Jill Kelly at QB. But they broke the hearts of a bunch of guys upstate who already had their hearts ripped out by a bad economy, disappearing jobs and the indignity of being confused with Canadians.
But at least they have fun body slamming each other into foldable tables and setting their genitals on fire. So they do have that
Oh yeah they also have the Ryan brothers, a tandem who make the Smothers Brothers look serious.
Good night dear Zed
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