There are four things you can expect when you go to Chipotle
- you are guaranteed to spend $15 even if it says $7 on the menu. You can't get a burrito and not get guacamole or lettuce or tomatoes and every time you add something the little cash register goes cha-ching
- about fifty minutes after you spend $8 more than you expected you will also run to the bathroom a lot more quickly than expected.
- you'll get some crazy David Blaine type magic happened because somehow you can eat a 1/2 pound burrito and shit out a two pound taco bowl which is beyond me. And somehow that 1.5 pound net loss is a 1.5 pound net gain when you get on the scale
- you can expect that not only will your colon be both cleaned and ripped to shreds, you will also have been lied to in terms of calorie intake since they claim that 1/2 pound burrito is only 300 calories, even if it actually clocks in somewhere north of 1000 calories.
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