Tuesday, March 31, 2009

The list of the world's biggest scams go something like this.



The muti-vitamin-

Why a perfectly healthy 33 year old needs 550% of the recommended daily intake of magnesium is beyond ridiculous. This is why my piss is fluorescent yellow whenever I pop a Centrum.



The blind blind-date.
There is no way to blow this chick off after the first date goes shitty as it would only invite accusations of unwarranted heartlessness.



The slow-play all you can eat restaurant.

There is nothing that scream communistic fascist like the slow-play all you can eat restaurant which stalls you with cheap rice and beans while you watch the hour tick away on the clock. You go into this prepared to gorge yourself forsaking taste and quality but when they don't allow you the American indulgence of gluttony I demand a recount!!!

Everybody knows that it takes the stomach about 30 minutes to realize its full, thus the stalling will ensure you don't overstuff yourself (good) while making sure you do not take full advantage of the all-you-can-eat portion (bad).

The NewYears Eve all you can drink bars have perfected this by basically throwing a bunch of mentally handicap people behind the bar to take orders. My suggestion, they should be forced to employ a 24 second clock

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