I get that at some point, people just give up. How many times can they pretend that they see Rudolph in the distance, how many clever spots can they find to his the Elf of the Shelf and how many stocking stuffers can they come up with but that doesn't give them the right to look like a tool. Nothing is more doochy than showing up at a Christmas tree place than the guy who is dressed in his looks like green pajamas at 4pm. We get it dude, you're too cool for this thing and you want to show the world that you don't care but the rest of us want a little holiday spirit when we dropping $75 on a Douglas Fir that will last two weeks and spread pine needles like the girls at Rutgers spread the Clap.
So put your on a stupid Santa hat, drink some eggnog and go get a foot massage and a BJ from the foot massage place up the street