Take on babysitting

I was out two weeks ago with my girls at a diner when a woman came up to me to tell me what kind of incredible job I was doing babysitting my kids. My first thought was, look lady thanks for the compliment but this only looks pleasant because I have bribed them with ice cream and thrufully it doesn't look like a gigantic battle royal because I have threatened them with taking away all TV privileges, their IPads and their cell phones for a month..and to.send the dog to the pound

I'd do it too, I'd take it all away and more...no G-Chat or Snapchat or CatChat or anything and they will not be going on any dates either. We will just sit home and converse which really means that they will be staring at a big hole in the wall after I have ripped the TV off the F'in wall in a fit of absolute rage. They will ask why they can't have nice stuff and I will bitch about all the sacrifices I have made for them and how they don't deserve it.

I thought about letting the nice lady in on the secret but I just smiled and thanked her for her kind words as I kicked my oldest in the shin and strangled my middle one with my arm while shoving chocolate covered French Fries in the mouth of my youngest

I am like Homer Simpson just less charming