Monday, March 14, 2016

Take on the Kasich flyer

We're huge John Kasich fans mainly because unlike the rest of the circus in the GOP field, he seems like the least funny clown in the bunch. Being the least funny clown is not great in a circus but when it comes to potentially being the next leader of the Free World not being funny is not bad.
The problem with Kasich is that he sounds like a dweeb, dresses like he lost 40 pounds since the last time he wore his suit and looks like he gets his hair cut from a girl overdosing on Bubblicious. Nothing is more boring than John Kasich mainly because he has no charisma but almost as bad is the fact that he always falls back on his accomplishments which are very neatly packaged in an almost perfect stump speech of policy nerdness and nothing proves that better than his latest campaign mailing.

In life there is nothing better than getting a postcard, except when John Kasich sent it, he might be only person who can ruin a postcard.

If Trump sent out a card it would have a chick in a bikini standing in the beach, if Cruz sent you one it would be addressed to the IRS, if Bernie sent one it would just have a photo of those two old guys from the Muppets

The problem is that when I got a postcard from the campaign it was like getting a little piece of John Kasich in my mailbox. He didn't send out a fingernail or lock of hair but instead used a standard 4x6 postcard and vomited all over it with Kasich-speech. The issue is that his campaign knows that he can't ever hope to break through on the standard mass media, so they are limited to sending a post card. But that is not where it ended, since they realize it is likely to be the only time for you to think about John Kasich, they added every single campaign policy point on the back. Then they added this in an 8 font which means you need a miscroscope to hope to read about his time in Washington blanching the budget or his time in Ohio creating jobs. I guess it also means you won't be able to read about his role in the Contract with America and ability to defund Planned Parenthood.

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