Tuesday, November 25, 2008

The Metropolitan Diary



Not sure who has ever picked up the NY Times on a Monday and read through the Metro section and come across a section entitled "the Metropolitan Diary"

It's a cute little section where people write short stories of funny anecdotal items based on various experiences they have living or travelling through Manhattan. A lot of the stories have travelling on public transportation or in taxi's as the back-scene and they are usually about 10 to 15 lines long and are intended to give the casual reader a quick chuckle.

Problem is that most of these stories are so completely self-serving. Usually not overtly but within the details of the story.  I'll try to find a couple but out of the four or five they print, inevitably three of two or three of them have nothing to do with the "cute story" and only to give the writer a platform to brag from.

Although I don't remember any off the top of my head, a typical 'dear diary' entry would go like this


"Dear Diary


I was on my way to volunteer in the local soup kitchen last Saturday but after a late night I got up a bit later than usual .  I usually take the 6 train downtown but since I was running late I decided to jump in a cab.. When we got to my destination I realized that in my haste I had left my wallet sitting on my dresser at home.   I explained my story to the cabby who looked and handed over a card with his home address and said 'just send me the fare when you get home. I smiled and rushed out.. Only in New York


Signed


Jane Blow from the Upper East Side"
the fact that the writer was volunteering that she was volunteering has NOTHING to do with the story but it's this type of self-serving detail that is always buried in the story.

You also see a ton of them that are basically just excuses for bragging about a kid.



"Dear Diary

My wife and I were on our way to the Graduation ceremony at Columbia law school for our Son Jim, we were both in a rush because as Suma Cum Laude he was to give the class speech and we wnated good seats. As we walked out of our apartment building we saw a man struggling keeping his small dog leashed. After struggling with the dog, he finally lost his grip and the pooch ran down the street. Three kids standing on the sidewalk jumped to action and chased the canine down 89th street finally catching up to him as the dog was waiting patiently in line for the hot-dog stand. My wife and I had a good laugh as we hurried to the cross town bus

Signed

Joe Blow from Manhattan"
 
People should be shot

2 comments:

Unknown said...

david, you are so funny. you are obsessed with metropolitan diary! you're like those people who hate howard stern but keep listening! LMFAO it's hilarious!

Righetti said...

I feel like i'm here doing God's work