Take on Immigration

As our Dear Leader starts another week and another controversy, he decided to take on illegal immigration head on. Give Trump credit in that he really has hit all the classics during this Best-Of tour, and no song is bigger for Trump than his Don't Stop Believin', immigration. It resonates with the old timers, it gets the young girls all hot and excited and the radio stations love. The problem is that the fans are idiot because they all say that immigrants suck because they take away good paying American jobs, but they don't do any of that.

The conversation goes like this

Some Guy
But Righetti, Joe SixPack in Toledo told me that those guys are taking good paying American jobs.

Righetti .
Well Joe SixPack doesn't have a job and still wouldn't be caught dead picking berries and would go ape-#### if he found out his strawberry pancakes at IHOP just jumped in price by $5. He doesn't seem to be able to connect the dots in this game of 3D checkers
Joe Sixpack wants his toilets cleaned, his car washed, his flower beds pruned and he'll be damned if his Motel-6 bill jumps $20 a night. And god forbid he couldn't get to his non existent work because he couldn't find a nanny or because he was busy shoveling his own snow

Dude
But I, I mean Joe SixPack, likes shoveling snow

Righetti
No, you, I mean he, really doesn't

Dude
But global warming will mean that we won't get as much snow

Righetti
You didn't just say that, right?

Dude
Benghazi, emails!!

Righetti
What JoeSixPack doesn't realize is that immigrants are the gift that keeps on giving, they offer cheap labor, doing jobs that nobody wants for as many hours as you need them..oh yeah, they don't take vacations or breaks or sick days or anything. They just work hard, every. single. day.

Dude
But they are killer and rapists and smell bad

Righetti
no they aren't and mostly they don't

Dude
But they take from our social safety nets..

Righetti
yeah, no

Dude
But they are brown..

Righetti
yes, now we got to the expressway you were looking for

Dude
But Trump told me that they came here and took our jobs and put them in a duffle bag and brought them to Mexico where they are turning those jobs into crystal meth and shipping it over the unsecured border by shoving it up the wawas of innocent girls but we will find them and arrest them and catapult them over the wall and charge them for the ride

Righetti
We are so screwed