Take on the Subway Sacrifice

I am standing on the platform staring at my hasidic friend and seriously considering pushing him onto the tracks. Now I'm not anti-semitic and don't normally have sociopathic tendencies but my desire is to help my friend by putting him out of his misery. See it's NYC in the first week of June and it's already 100 degrees with 100% humidity and I am witnessing pure hell..
See years ago it wouldn't have been like this because we had four distinct season: a hot summer, a dry and cool fall, a snowy and cold winter and a beautiful spring but somehow we've traded in four seasons for two and a half. We now are stuck with a cold winter where we have snow-drifts that pile up to my second-story window for about 4 months followed by 2 months of nasty rain which leads to four months of miserable humidity.

Well it's only the first few days of June and standing on the subway platform is beyond disgusting for me and I'm wearing thin pants and a button down with rolled up sleeves But as bad as I have it, I am standing next this schmuck who looks like he's dressed for a wedding in November. He's wearing a black jacket over his black vest, over his thick buttoned up dress shirt over an undershirt. He's got his big black-rimmed hat which covers his yarmulke and his beard looks like a freshly watered chia-pet. . Forget water-boarding, what I am watching here is true torture and I'm not even sure he knows it... I figure even a soft push can do it, he'll never see it coming and then in one big splat it will be done. I reconsider when I realize it may really delay my commute home but still it might be worth it to help a fellow man..
As I stand there I realize why these guys take their private buses into the city, I always thought they got there faster but maybe it's done to avoid being a sacrificial lamb because 'm not sure those school-buses have AC anyway.

He's a good guy but still I stand there contemplating sacrificing my friend to the D-Train gods for his own good because no man should have to stand there putting up with this.

So MTA if not for me then at least do something for my orthodox friend, he cannot possibly be expected to stand in this sauna fully dressed and come out expecting to be productive. He's got sweat beads on top of his sweat-beads and it's only early June So please stop allowing the building above to pump their AC's directly into the tunnels which is the only thing that can explain this monsoon. I mean, heat is supposed to rise so why does it get hotter when I go lower?? Maybe add some fans down here because either I am going to pass out or the orthodox guy is gonna get it and it will be his blood on your hands
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