I made the mistake of cutting through Times Square on my way to work today at about 8:30AM and got stuck in a wave of Middle-America. I have nothing against our heartland expect when it impedes me from getting an Egg and Cheese in the morning or when I'm driving through the vast emptiness past the Mississippi River. As I got engulfed by a group of fanatically overweight people it occurred to me that I had accidentally stumbled upon the taping of Good Morning America and like a tidal wave I was swept up as the crowd swayed from side-to-side with each chew of their chocolate donut. I stood there in awe thinking to myself that some yo-yo from Indianapolis drove 1000 miles to New York City to stand outside in the 100 degree weather at 6AM to have a chance to have his lame sign caught in the background of some segment about growing the perfect tomato. This is like flying to a campground in the South of France filled with Americans. Now I understand that the Today show gets an even bigger audience of weirdos and they sometimes have to shut down all of Rockefeller Center because of it. The funny thing is that there is no New Yorker who has ever spent as much as two minutes waiting in front of the window of one of these hell-holes which is why the concept of SNY opening up a studio at street level on sixth-avenue never made sense to me. If you are not going to have a national audience (read people from Topeka who have nothing better to do with their time than to spend their two weeks vacation standing on a street corner hoping to get a view of Charles Gibson's backside) you won't attract so much as a homeless person.
I have walked past that SNY studio a thousand times and there are literally more people waiting at the hot-dog vendor than people standing in front of the window.
It's to the point that if we ever decided to implement some type of population control over this country we could quickly save enough food to feed 100 people by taking out 50 housewives on the corner of 44th and Broadway.
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