The empty seat

So the other day I find a rare seat on the subway in one of those two seat benches next to some 300lb construction worker. Now first of all, his mere size completely crept into my personal space but being that he looked like he would eat shitheads like me for dinner, I decided to not make a fuss.
Now we get to canal street and the train basically empties as the Cantonese immigrants get off and there we are sitting like a meathead couple with his elbow on my lap and our asses wedged together like a hot-pocket.. I survey the train and there are a bunch of open seats but no seats where I wouldn't be sitting next to somebody else. So the situation isn't really much better elsewhere but at least I wouldn't have this large man sitting ass side. but then again I don't want to insult so i stay put. Now I'm sitting there already uncomfortable and he's probably thinking the same thing but as we are both obviously stubborn we play a game of chicken. Now at Dekalb street more people get off and now am I not just uncomfortable but now it looks like we are a couple heading to a Village People reunion at Coney Island NTTAWWT.

What the hell am I supposed to do?

I do exactly what I should have done at Canal Street, get up and stand the rest of the way because I'm too old for conflict and I'm too straight for gay-sex and honestly I was starting to lose circulation in my legs.
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