Saturday, May 8, 2010

The Box

Yeah this is about two weeks old but we can only cover one theme per day and it was important we discussed the Double Decker and the fact my ass is a mop in public pissers.

This oil-spill is really out of control, not just because they can't seem to find the stupid shut-off valves and they keep sending robotic arms down there which seems as likely to fix this problem as one of those CLAW games you have at the RollerRink where you use the joystick to try to pick-up a stuffed teddy bear.

A few thoughts:
- can we finally get past this Beyond Petroleum concept? I mean it's ridiculously good marketing but when you get caught with your pants down the fall from the pedestal is probably pretty painful. I think we have to accept that oil is a dirty business. You ever try getting an oil and vinegar stain out of a pair of pants???


- Now I see their new plan is to put a big box over the spill to capture the oil and then siphon it off which seems like it should work because it's just kind of simple. Never before has the world wanted a spewing rig get buried into a box this badly. Although I imagine trying to put this container over a gushing oil-well is probably like trying to put a condom over a running water hose. It might work if you could somehow turn the water off for a few minutes.
But even if you can get this box over the well the issue TOR sees with this is that since oil is lighter than water it will want to push itself to the top. So if you fill a container full of oil on the bottom of the ocean floor, how long will it be before there is so much pressure for the whole thing to dislodge and shoot back up?? Try holding a volleyball under the water in a pool, at some point this bad boy is going to smack you in the chin. I'm seeing this oil filled box shooting back up to ocean-level at 10000mph., talk about a dirty bomb.

But past the chance that this thing is bound to rain oil all over the gulf reason, the impact this spill has had both environmentally as well as the damage it has already caused to the local economy in the Gulf should not be understated

I'm sure BP wants this thing corked because of this but we all know why they want to plug this thing.
Last we heard there was something like 200,000 gallons per day gushing from this thing like one of those squirting porn stars and as long as gas hovers around $3 a gallon you can see where the urgency should be coming from.

What seems to me to be the way to get this under control is one way. Bang PB with fines that dwarf the cost of the oil. Money talks and let them send every Cambridge and Oxford grad in a wetsuit with an airtank out there to personally plug this hole with corks, cement and human hair (this seems to clog by bathtub very effectively)

And then when that is done get somebody to build a blowout preventor that might actually prevent blowouts.

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

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