take on the NY Times collumnists

I've said for years that the only NY Times columnist with any sense of humor is Gail Collins but that's almost like saying that the best tasting piece of dog-shit comes from a French poodle.   The NY Times Op-Ed office is probably as dull as a school library and I'd always imagined it to be something like this

Maureen Dowd comes in drinking a large double-mocca Latte, chatting away on her blueberry while eating a strawberry scone while she tosses her Burberry bag onto Nicholas Kristof's desk knocking his black coffee all over his huge map of Angola..  He gets up to protest but Dowd is already half-way down the office stroking her cocker-spaniel she keeps in her purse and nearly runs Roger Cohen carrying a huge poster of Frank Rich.       David Brooks cackles at the sight and immediately goes back to quoting some completely irrelevant Shakespeare line for his next article to ensure he gets to 2000 words.    Thomas Friedman, fresh off his 10^th trip to India in the last 8 days stands in the corner staring at a mirror while wearing a jacket with way too many zippers  trying to convince Charles Blow that the world is getting smaller and flatter while his head is in fact growing both larger and more round every-time he opens his mouth.   The bubble caption above Blow's head is pretty clear  "if somebody doesn't shoot this guy I will strangle him with a notebook full of statistics"   Joe Nocera stands nearby and his bubble reads 'Man am I good looking, I bet I'm packing more heat under these navy pinstripe pants than Blow and his clown pants'

In the corner sits Bob Herbert  in one of those chairs with the attached desk with a look on his face like the janitor is about to come in and move his desk into the hallway with him in it, he starts to speak and Brooks says 'has anybody ever told you that you could pass for Bill Cosby?"  

Gail Collins working hard at her typewriter asks the disinterested crowd if she should add an anecdote  of Mitt Romney's dog being tied to the family car in her next article but she loses her train of thought half-way through her thought to ask if maybe she should just go with 'we digress'.    The camera zooms over to Paul Krugman as he polishes his Nobel prize with a hanky from PINK with the sweat of the underclass.

Brooks turns to Ross Douthat and asks when he's going to marry Rachel again…only Bob Berhert laughs..Brooks turns to him and said 'good one right Bill?"      The William Safire memorial desks sits empty with a one of those black and white notebooks open filled with pages of grammatical corrections he's found in the pages of the Old Lady.