Have you noticed that NYC restaurants all basically suck!

For the third time in a month I walk away from a new NYC restaurant thinking that not only was the food overpriced ($130 for two people), it's all gotten so bad that the entire dining out experience has lost almost all appeal to me.   Today we sit down at some new Trendy Organic joint and after 2 hours I can review the place as follows

"The food quality could only be described as decent, the menu is uninspiring, the overall selection is limited, the waitstaff is just blah, the drinks are overpriced and my decaf was more burned than my steak, but honestly that wasn't the worst of it..  It is the basic atmosphere which completely turns me off, with the pumping bass, the dark lighting and the cramped seating I feel like I'm sitting at a Depeche Mode concert."

I cannot remember the last time I walked away from a NYC restaurant and thought, 'that was a worthwhile experience.'  After some thought it all comes down to the decision they make when they can't decide to take atmosphere over the dining experience and when a restaurant but must be able to double for a club, I want to find the nearest window and jump.    Why restaurants spend so little effort on the acoustics and lighting yet so much on their speakers and lights is beyond me, I mean if your food is going to suck at least let me talk with my friends. I spend the first part of the evening straining to make out the menu and the rest of the evening staining to make out the conversations.  I find myself constantly asking others to repeat themselves and after 30 minutes of  "excuse me?", "what did you say" and "huh?" I just give up trying.  At this point I just smile and chuckle after it looks  like the person completes a sentence..

If I wanted a distraction from the restaurant when I sat down for dinner I'd go to the ESPNZONE, where at least I can catch some Knicks highlights.

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Fox and 'my' Friends

Watching FoxNews this morning when they tease their next story like this

"Which of the two Presidential Candidates would not pass an FBI probe? You will be surprised"

As they tease this they add "Obama not able to get through an FBI probe?" To their ticker. I guess I know which candidate they were implying.

Also, why the hell are all bottom of the screen scrawls for these 24 hour news channel so goddamn slow? It feels like you are back at age 6 trying to learn how to read, as you sound out the words in your head (or out loud) as they peek from the lower right corner.

Good news is that spending two days in Michigan at least gave me an opportunity to see some of these political advertisements I always hear about, being in New York you don't ever get any of 'em. I get to see Obama and McCain ripped to shreds not in the context of an MSNBC special but actually by each other's ad departments

NY Times article mentions today that Michelle Obama does not do well when pollsters are asked about her by potential voters and the pollsters aren't sure why...
Although she's got the Harvard education, is well spoken, has been a successful lawyer, raises two seemingly great young girls there is just something that doesn't jive with voters...
I will give you three guesses...

Next
Why do people enter chili competitions and offer a runny watery chili? I am not looking for a marinara sauce or a soup. Chili is supposed to be hot, have a kick, be full of beans, have chunks of beef, gobs of sauce, tons of gunk. served with onions and should be able to be eaten with a fork..
Anything less is unAmerican and serving it means the terrorists have won.

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

God I love John Daly

n the latest chapter of John Daly's longtime struggle with alcohol abuse, he was held overnight in a North Carolina jail after passing out at a Hooters restaurant, according to a statement released by Winston-Salem police on Wednesday. Police officers were called to the Hooters at 120 Hanes Square Circle in Winston-Salem at 2:17 a.m. Sunday. When police arrived, Daly, who had passed out at the restaurant, was already being treated by emergency medical workers, according to police reports. Emergency workers said Daly refused to go to a hospital

 

Honestly, they should give this guy two extra Major's just for the damage he's done to his liver.

So the Phillies win the World Series but there is something I don't understand.   Bud Selig said that regardless of the situation, the last game would go 9 innings even if it meant playing on Thanksgiving.   This seems like you are changing the rules of baseball, it's not right but you have a very specific rule set up which says that if a team leads after 5 innings, they win the game.  I know it's lame but this is why you have rules right?

Then again I may be the only person who did not watch the Obama infomercial but I gotta imagine that they'll play it a couple of times at about 3am but the next time Billy Mays might be the host.

Live from Chicago it's Tuesday NIGHT!!!

well we're about 24 hours from the innerspace experience and thank you for the good wishes from many of the big TOR fans. Funny how the well wishes all came from chicks and the dudes have all seem to shy away from that post. BadBadLife


Hey maybe the RNC knew what they were doing with that $150,000 clothing budget


A new study found that men find women sexier if they're sporting red colors rather than blue or green.

I remember a few months ago a newly single female friend of ours met us at some bar on a Friday Night and over the phone she told us that she was ready to hit the town and turn some heads. My wife turns to me and says, "bet she shows up wearing red" and 20 minutes later she showed up with a red top and skirt and fire red lipstick.

I mean, look at the way that McCain's been eyeing Palin recently, you know this is only helping show his vitality to the voters, I think that if they were caught in a romp that the country would be much more comfortable with him as POTUS.

what's next a study that concludes that women find men sexier if they are sporting a bigger dong

In breakinig new Palin speaking at Shippensburg University in Pennsylvania didn't go off script but apparantly had a hard time finding her husband afterwards.

All good except for this unfortunate event

After inclement weather led to the cancellation of a scheduled joint rally with John McCain in Quakertown, Pennsylvania, this morning, the bus carrying the Palin traveling press corps broke down along the highway between Hershey and Shippensburg later in the afternoon.

It was the second time in three days that a Palin press bus has come to a sudden halt on the way to an event. In Florida on Sunday, the bus briefly overheated, but through a combination of edge-of-your-seat weaving and accelerating, the driver was able to catch up with the motorcade.

My Life is Terrible

So, as regular TOR members know, the Righetti life has lots of high points and a couple of low ones too.  Two months ago in China there was the running in the smog issue, then earlier this month in Prospect Park there was the not enough time for the john issue, and couple of weeks ago there was a pulled nut issue, well it all might have gotten much worse yesterday.    

In addition to all the muscle pain I've had due to the marathon training , I've had some issues which may or may not be related to that pulled nut but let me tell you the pain was not nearly as bad as the doctor's visit.  It all started when I was at the gym last week and after a 4 mile run, went to empty the hose and saw a color which was more Merlot than Chardonnay.   This is when I knew I was in trouble, I mean I can deal with some discomfort but I don't even like to drink Merlot let along excrete it.

I go in last week to see my doctor, you know the one who likes to play pocket pool with my cue-stick.  The guy that makes you drop your pants if you have a sore throat or a runny nose.   Well, now I come in with a real unit issue, so this dude's got a smile on his face from Lexington Avenue to the East River.  I drop my pants, get in position and get told that I have a UTI!!!!  He gets me onto some kind of antibiotic but after the full analysis comes back the lab, he thinks it may be a bit more than just a UTI and tells me to go see a urologist for a sonogram, fun fun fun. 
A UTI, what kind of dude gets a UTI?  I'm really turning into a chick, first I gotta run with a training bra to avoid bloody nipples, then i have to wear spandex so my fat thighs don't rub together, then I got these  fat ankles and now I'm getting a sonogram and buying cranberry juice by the gallon. 

I walk into this urologist office and now my life goes from bad to terrible... first he rubs some weird cream all over my gut and gives me that sonogram, luckily he didn't find a kid in there.   Then he says "well nothing weird with that but since we gotta figure out what's wrong, we'll have to take a look inside with a camera.   Now I know of only one way to get to my bladder and this is when  I started sweating bullets.   There I am on one of those chairs where your legs get locked into these weird things like I'm about to give birth.  Your legs are tied in like one of those thigh machines that always rip my drawers with this Doc and his assistant staring down on poor little Righetti.  Now the doc (not the hot assistant) rubs little righetti down with some kind of weird anesthesia, then he squirts some weird goo down the tube, this sensation I can only describe as reverse peeing.  Finally they go InnerSpace on me and I feel like Martin Short when they send some telescope with a camera up my unit to get a peak around..   The doctor says "good news no major issues" and then smiles and goes away, I'm left feeling more violated than any man ever should.

Let me tell you it was NOT pleasant, I know I mention it often but my life is not just not very good, quite honestly it sucks

oh yeah, he wants to see me for a follow up in three weeks.

There are only a few things I ask for in a stripper

I'm not that into fake cans, I'm not at all into most of the ugly ass tattoo's these chicks have,  I'm defintiely not into the zits these chicks get on their ass from rubbing up an down on that nasty ass floor and i'm not into the bad attitiude some of these chicks have but what really gets me annoyed is something much worse.  Why in God's name would you get on stage with a big nasty six inch cesarean scar.  Nothing turns a Big Righetti into a small righetti faster than a chick who's stomach looks like a road map.   You are in the turn-on business and this my friends is a huge turn off.   Either get some weird looking belly tattoo which is bad but not as bad as this thing or get a huge bandaid or in the name of JC wear a belt when you are dancing, cause honestly I don't like it.

Just to be clear, I'm not against the caesarean in general, just for a chick who works under a blacklight. 
I know these broads had some issues with not feeling like they were loved but this scar means that at least at some point you got some real loving and I like to believe my stripper is completely innocent..

Got an interesting comment to a TOR entry from a few days ago about the need to end a conversation before ending revolving doors.  First of all this revolving door piece was actually brought to my attention by The Ryan Express and in addition to the original theory, regular TOR reader and occasional Relief Bitcher 'The Bump' mentions that this is the same rule as walking into the bathroom to use a urinal, all conversation ceases once cock is in hand.

Goodbye to Romance

Only nine days to go till we get to finally see the Obama/McCain battle play out.   Obviously Barack continues to improve in the polls and McCain continues to look annoyed.  I'm not exactly sure what I would do if I were the GOP but if they've been hiding Osama Bin Laden, this might be the time to bring him out or otherwise it might be time for Palin to start thinking of a place to donate all those clothes.  Although with her going rogue as a senior McCain complained to CNN, probably proves that her aspirations are way beyond playing second fiddle to fuddy-duddy McCain and maybe all this Maverick talk really is about the fact that she sees herself as the top gun.

So lets get an over/under for how many Sarah Palin costumes we're gonna see for Halloween this year?  That has to be the most popular costume of the year and just about any brunette chick can pull it off.  Add some square glasses, a mini skirt and one of those shirts with the high collar and you are money.

Anybody notice that the entire crowd at the Chargers-Saints game in London sings along with God Save the Queen, all 80,000 people singing in unison was kinda cool to see, although it's obviouly not a 'home game' for either fans and it looks like a sports bar in NYC with NFL jersey's from every team in the league represented.  I guess it's just 80,000 ex-pats now living across the pond who happened to know all the lyrics to God Save the Queen

Who else thinks that the Giants might be slightly regretting the big money contract they just gave Plaxico?   These prima donna receivers are all the same, when things are going well their antics are easy to swallow but get a bit of adversity and they are nothing but annoying.

I've been busy carving a backwards B into my face

When I first read that a McCain campaign worker was accusing a "big black man" of robbing her, beating her and carving a B into her face and noticed the B was backwards I thought of Morton Downey Jr, who years accused neonazi's of painting a swastika on his face.  Of course just like in this McCain campaign case the twisted cross was painted in reverse.  Idiots absolute idiots.

Maybe that chick should have used a knife to cut away half the food she consumes on a daily basis.

 

in other big news Joe the Plumber sounds like he's considering a 2010 run for congress, this is what we really need a guy who isn't really a plumber now try to be a real congressman.

Everytime I see Ali Velshi, I think that it's just Howie Mandel took a gig doing CNN finance cause those Deal or No Deal briefcases are coming up empty for him

Obamammercial

So next Wednesday Night, the Obama campaign will buy 30 minute spots on all the major channels for a infommercial to sell himself to the American public.   My first thought was.. 'is it worth it for the campagin to actually buy time on MSNBC since their own infomercial could never be as big a seller as Keith Olberman will be and he won't cost them anything'

Did read a piece in today's Times about Palin and then it hit me, she always talks about being a small town mayor, a business owner and a governor and although all are true one part of it seems like just a bit of a stretch. I'm not 100% sure but the business owner part she speaks about I think is for a company for snow-mobile racing.   I think Todd is the team's driver and they make something like $1000 per year in winnings.. I'm not exactly sure this qualifies as a small business owner as it seems more like a glorified hobby for her goatee having husband. That's like saying TOR makes me a small business owner cause I have a couple of banner ads up..

I know the US loves the underdog story and embraces the little engine that could but could there be less interest in this Devil Rays world series? Maybe I'm disenfranchised, maybe I'm disconnected or maybe i'm just disinterested but you couldn't pay me to watch this series.

So caught some kind of expose on Obama's grandparents yesterday and on the TV screen I saw the following picture and thought..  Jeeze maybe get a slightly looser pair of pants Grandpa

$150,000 for a wardrobe?

So let me get this straight, Palin drops roughly the same amount on a Wardrobe in three weeks what Joe the Plumber would be able to keep assuming he were to buy that business under the Obama plan.
Then again I buy most of my clothes at Overstock.com which probably explains why all my jeans look like they were designed for moose

Although the campaign did say that the clothes would be donated to charity after the campaign, maybe they can start with these guys!!!

I feel bad for McCain, his running mate drops that kind of loot on her wardrobe but he's the head of the ticket and he dresses like he got a two for one deal with Jack Cafferty. They both dress like one of those Chinese Guy at a wedding, you know the kind where the suit doesn't fit right and it looks like it was tailored by a blind child laborer or maybe Katie Tong. Then again looks shouldn't be that important but it almost looks like McCain sometimes leaves his house and forgets to brush either his hair or his teeth.

Got a stupid question, who the hell told me that Iron Man was going to be any good. Maybe I've gotten old, maybe I've gotten fat and maybe i've gotten lazy but come on, there was no suspense, no storyline and really no intrigue. The story line was terrible, the action was subpar and the acting was tired. Robert Downey Jr is shockingly miscast, Gwyneth Paltrow can't act her way out of a bag of wet socks and I really only like to see the Jeff Bridges with a white Russian in his hand.

Maybe it's just that I like to see my superheroes fight some inner demons, Tony Stark's character development looked like it could have been written by a guy who works at a camping store not produced by a major Hollywood studio.

1994 was great!!!

In general SNL sucks, in total SNL sucks, in theory SNL sucks, in 2008 SNL sucks, in my sleep SNL sucks but I didn't realize how much it sucks until putting some real thought to it..

When I turn on SNL in 2008 it feels like you are watching the Knicks in 2008, basically they have both sucked since I left highschool and when either was really good was basically sometime around 1970. Back in High School they had a lineup of Adam Sandler, Chris Farley, Chris Rock, Phil Hartman, Dennis Miller etc. and now i'm stuck with an untalented bunch including: that unfunny fat black dude, theWeekend Update guy who looks like the intern dude from The Office and Andy "don't call me Ryne" Samdberg

Come on:
Sandler, Farley, Rock, Hartman and Miller was like Oakley, Starks, Mason, Ewing and Derek Harper , Bring in a top coach/Alec Baldwin and you were off to the races. Although I guess you did have to deal with David Spade (Charles Smith).

Even the next few years there were some highlights with the addition of Will Ferrell (Sprewell), Jim Breuer(Marcus Camby) and Norm McDonald (Allan Houston), and you got yourself to another championship series although you know it was in a strike season.
Then you hit the post Ewing era you also had some real bumbs like Shandon Anderson(Chris Kattan) and Howard Eisley (Molly Shannon) intersperced with Will Ferrell.. But then Ferrell/Sprewell leaves the show/team goes to total crap and you aren't even selling MSG out anymore..

But even if you think about those Golden Times it probably doesn't compare to the time before you watched the Knicks/SNL. The 70's had absolute superstars like Chevy Chase, Steve Martin, Bill Murray, Belushi and Dan Akroyd.. that's like Willis Reed, Walt Frazier, Dave DeBusscher, Bill Bradley and Earl the Pearl. I know they were all great and I can only watch grainy highlights from when they ruled the stage. But the only times I saw these guys live was when they had bad knees.

It's almost worse now because you just don't care to even turn it on, but look at the crap they throw at you now
Fat Black dude -- Eddy Curry (fat and fat)
Darrell Hammon-- Stephan Marbury (old and annoying)
Seth Myers - Zach Randolph (a position held by greats before you and you just the suck)
Amy Poehler Jamal Crawford (when he/she is good, bring down the house but most of the time..egh)
Andy Samberg- Chris Duhon (who?)
Tina Fey- Nate Robinson (just doesn't get enough playing time)

Ever Pull a Nut?

As most of you know I'm training for the marathon and am getting a bit nervous after what happened last week. I was running with one of those fuel belts with the water bottles in the back, you know the kind that makes you look like a guy who should be in an asylum because he thinks he's batman.

Well I had the stupid belt on and I had to tighten it a lot because those goddam water bottles bounce all over the place and it put a lot of pressure right around my belt line/blatter area.  Well about 16 miles into a 20 mile run, I had one of those big sneezes that usually makes you feel so good but instead I got a sudden sharp pain in upper leg, lower abdomen, side of the groin area.


It hasn't hurt like that since that day although when I have a big sneeze it doesn't feel "right" down there either.  Plus it kind of hurts when i pee, not in that STD way but more in that other way.
I'm not sure what all these symptoms add up to but my buddy Jimmy Ma once pulled a nut swinging a golf club and another buddy Tommy Conway pulled a nut trying to get into a very small car.   Now you'd think any statement which involved "pulling" and "your nut" would sound like it could be a lot of fun but let me tell you.. It sucks and I'm kind of afraid that I might die.

I checked online for advice and was told there is something called "small scrotum disease", not sure what is worse: small scrotum disease or big ball disease.

:MyLifeIsPrettyBad:

Talk about a Revolution

Scene:
Two guys walking on the street talking about all the hot chicks they've met and one is about to make a great point when they get to the front of the building they are about to enter and are met with a revolving door and the inevitable happens... the conversation comes to a grinding halt and can never come back again.

Since it completely NOT acceptable for two dudes to share one space in a revolving door, the conversation gets put on hold and by the time both are through any semblance of the joke or the eb-and-flow of the conversation completely dies. One guy could have just come up with the perfect solution for an Israeli-Palestinian peace plan but if he doesn't get the entire thought out before they come to that revolving door you may as well add 100 years of war to the possiblity of peace in the Middle East.

Somehow the 5 seconds between entering and exiting takes all steam out of conversations, maybe it has to do with an alpha dog situation since one guy has to go in first, maybe it has to do with two men locking horns in a time to come up with dominance or maybe it has to do with the fact that those doors just rotate way too slowly and between the first guy entering and the other guy finally exiting there has been way too much time elaped. Shoot maybe because you can only sort of look through the windows you get sick and the distration is just too much for anybody.

Why do old fat guys do this?

I know that some people's feelings might be hurt by this TOR post but honestly, what happened to caring? I'm watching the Browns game today and the camera focuses on Romeo Crennel and I wonder 'why do certain fat guys wear their pants with the belt line over their belly button and others wear it below their huge guts?'

It just seems to me that if you have decided to go with the belt over the belly button look then you just have given up.. I mean the day you wear your pants this high you have given up on style, hot chicks and probably sperm production.. Not only are you all but guaranteeing that you might never reproduce again by cutting any blood flow to your testes you have also ensured you can never even have the opportunity again. And even if style or procreation wasn't your main goal, it just can't be comfortable with your inseam giving you a unit wedgie. I can't think of a single reason why you would try to pull this off, but I do know that you have to be over the age of 60 to even try this.

I'm not sure if the following look is all that much better, but at least it looks like you tried a little bit.

Maybe this dude can convince his buddies that he has a size 40 waste while Romeo who is obviously much lighter but has to claim a size 52 belt. Then again some dudes have that kind of gut that is all belly while other dudes have that weight in the place where you unit should be. I gotta say that if I ever get myself over 2 and half bills that I'm hoping for the former method of carrying the weight not the latter.

Now that I think about it, the high belt thing seems to be especially prevalent in football coaches.

It's the end of the world as we know it

So this is how it ends....

We are two weeks from the "most important election of our lifetimes" although I'd make the case that the "most important election" was held 8 years ago and we as a country failed in that one.

What is most frustrating is that 95% of people who will vote are strongly decided and the other 5% probably don't care that much.. Why this entire election comes down to the 5% of people who have basically lived under a rock is beyond me. Sadly these are the kinds of people who could be affected by policy decisions (welfare, tax breaks, abortion) but they are too occupied with the last episode of Family Guy to care... Stop pandering to the stupid and the lazy and start pandering to me!!!!

I won't tell you who to vote for but the more I think about the third debate the more 'presidential' Obama came across and the more whiny and petty McCain came across. I know we want our political leaders to show fight and be able to get scrappy but the way Obama handles criticism from McCain is how I want our nation to view itself, sort of above the fray. We are not North Korea or Somalia or wherever where the hope is to jab and get a reaction out of the guy on top.
The other point has to do with what I see as the biggest common theme between Jr. Bush and McCain,I'm not talking about Iraq, or their positions on abortion or any of this 90% voting crap but the fact that they both believe that they can judge a book or situation instantly, both have this tendency to believe that they have great intuition and both trust their gut. Obama is more cerebral and although this might make him dull or annoys people because he is not able to come up with a new plan on the spot, it also allows him to make a well thought out decision after putting real thought behind it, presumably after debating this with advisors.
This is where Obama's campaign shines and McCain's drops the ball and he differs from Bush. The inability of McCain to stay on message, not for the reasons the pundits complain about but because it doesn't seem like he has conviction.. For somebody who trusts his gut instinct he seems remarkably annoyed by the fact that people think his gut is wrong.. But at 72 it's hard for a leopard to change his stripes.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

I wonder what McCain was thinking here?

The above picture was taken at the end of the debate when McCain couldn't decide which way to walk to greet Bob Schieffer, I remember the moment and thought it was pretty entertaining but I'm glad that Reuters got a picture of it.

Alessandra Stanley describing the bate basically came down to a pseudo court case of George Bush vs Joe the Plumber today with Obama as the smooth prosecutor and McCain as the personal injury lawyer.  
Apparently being a plumber can get you a gig that pays a quarter million dollars a year, what the hell am I doing traveling from China to Germany to Belgium to Cleveland when I could be making so much more money as an unlicensed plumber?

Does it get much worse or better?   Playboy facing the downturn in the economy is cutting 55 jobs, I just have to hope the jobs they are cutting means that we'll be getting a bunch of new secretary requests in our office building.   There seems to be a lot of talk in Belgium about the new "film" Nailin' Palin which has hit the store shelves recently.  I saw the DVD box cover and I wonder why they couldn't at least get a chick that looked slightly like Palin.

I want to know what happened to the David Brooks I know and love.   First he throws Palin under the bus and today he all but endorses the Messiah for president.   William F. Buckley must be turning over in his grave.

Joe SixPack vs Joe the Plumber

... how do you think does poor old Joe Lieberman thinks about this whole thing, he was the most popular Joe in the McCain world a few weeks ago and now he's #3

Man, does it get any better than this.. McCain takes the gloves off and attacks Obama and they finally found a real moderator.. Bob Schieffer did a fantastic job and put Brokenjaw to shame..

I have noticed that McCain starts every debate wishing a fellow 70+ year old fellow Washington regular good health in their time of need.

But the real story hear is the 15 minutes of fame for "Joe the Plumber" who seems to be everywhere and is probably on his way to do Jay Leno tonight..  Of course the interwebs got a hold of this guy and they found out that he is neither 1) an actual plumber or 2) anywhere near buying a plumbing business but those are just semantics I guess.

More importantly, what does Joe SixPack think of getting the air taken out of him by Joe the Plumber?   The funny thing about Joe SixPack is that is't actually quite a negative stereotype but I guess you can't be insulted by it if you don't understand that it's really a joke on you.     Nothing tells you that you are a good standing member of society as giving the entire world the impression that you down a six pack on most nights..  I wonder if Joe the Plumber hammers a Six Pack every night.. Let me tell you, I don't want an unlicenced plumber working on my pipes after downing a six pack of coca cola let alone Miller Lite.


now i'm sure I'll get killed on this some how but explain something to me.

When Oil was almost $150 a barrel gasoline was being sold at $4.50, now that oil hit a rate of $75 how come gas isn't $2.25?
I know they will say that the oil that is being pumped into your car right now was pumped out of the earthy about 6 months ago, so that it will take 6 months before you see a real savings..

funny thing is that when oil raises in price the price of gasoline jumps immediately.. I'm sure there is a reason but I'm just not sure what it is..

Why do I spend $30 when it will look exactly the same

So after some recent goading from some friends, I decided to pass up the typical Righetti haircut which consists of walking into a joint with a huge Parrot where a guy named Israel who happens to be Jewish uses a buzzer to cut my hair in a grand total of 7 minutes for a grand total of $10 plus tip. iIt's obviously a pretty good deal and it's quick and easy since there is usually nobody in there plus the huge parrot keeps you entertained because I think he can sing that Numa Numa song.    Then again this place drums up business by handing out fliers in the morning from a guy with a huge sandwich board sign around him who hobbles around on one good foot and one bad one.    What should tip you off about the quality of the haircut you are going to get at this place is two folds. 
1) the guy handing out the fliers has the kind of haircut they give mental patients when they first enter the asylum and
2) the guy who hands out the fliers in the morning is the sometimes the same dude who cuts your hair in the afternoon

Now i'm all for working hard and it's only a haircut,  but if my doctor used the same type of marketing scheme, I'd basically be going to Dr. Zizmore for everything from pimples to rectal warts.

Well.. I've been pretty unhappy with the crappy haircuts I get at the place with the fliers and the huge parrot, so decided as ago a few months ago to venture into unknown territories.  I went to one of those Jean Claude Van Haircuts places.   You know the type where you spend $30 and some chick with a german accent torments you with that Nietzsche inspired cold blooded gaze.   I sit down and tell the German chick that I want it "short on the sides but leave it slightly longer on the top to go for that messy look that seems popular recently" 
She tells me that she knows exactly what I want and shows me a picture on the wall which is completely not what I'm looking for.  The picture she shows me if of one of those standard Long Island haircuts, you know the type where the dude puts all his hair forward except the front few strands which have to then stand straight up like it's a dam trying to hold back rushing water.    I want the messy look which can be combed down when I'm at work and kept messy when I hit an Irish bar or a Mexican restaurant.   Not the kind of look you spend 3 hours to get right when you plan to spend the night going to crappy B&T clubs down the the meat-packing district

Well $30 plus tip later I walk out of Jean Claude Van Haircut with basically the same crappy haircut I usually get from the parrot guy except now it cost me $35 total.  The entire experience was miserable because the chick kept insisting I get that stupid Long Island thing and I kept insisting that I wanted more of George Clooney deal.  Instead I look like I have wings cut into the side of my head, basically she gave me the Brian Bosworth. 

What is the equivalent to putting a big brick in my virtual mailbox like Kramer did his actual mailbox?

Is there anything more nauseating than somebody who leaves you a voice mail on your cell phone which only says “call me back when you have a chance”? There is no point to this message, there is no reason for leaving it and there is no point for me wasting a single minute of airtime or lifetime to check it.


The “call me back when you have a chance” message is worthless since I already knew you called from my miss-call log.

It costs money for no real reason because I have to use minutes to call up to find out something I already knew (I realize the IPhone handles this differently but since I have Verizon the IPhone is not an option for me.)
Plus I’m forced to listen to that introductory message which is paced for a person in BSI math.

Maybe I'll just change my outgoing message to say..  "hey, you've reached my voicemail, please do NOT leave me a message, send me a text message instead"

Now my second complaint of the day is a bit different and might not resonate with all the TOR readeres, but honestly it's my party and I can cry if I want to.
Here it goes..why the hell did the Blackberry decide to not copy the layout of a normal computer keyboard? They put the Shift key where the Alt is supposed to be and the Alt where the Shift key is supposed to be, so everytime I try to type quickly my sentences the ones that start with a P start with an @ sign instead and all my emails go to davidPtakeonrighetti.com.
This is like telling somebody that when they drive a Honda instead of a Ford that they have to remember that the turn signals are reversed.  

 I hate my life.

So how many fantasy seasons ended today with Tony Romo's finger injury?

The Coney Island cyclone has NOTHING on the DOW, I had a good feeling today and as I started to type this it was up 500 points already. From the Nobel Prize for Economic winner Paul Krugman so eloquently stated, it can be attributed to the Brits who had to come in to show the US how to handle this crisis with some clear direction instead of this weekly about-face the Bush administration has been doing.


I’ll be in Europe when McCain vs. Obama three hits TV sets Wednesday night, will be interesting what the European opinion of these things will be. You just know that the guys across the pond wish they could have a vote in this election.

This ‘debate’ will have a slightly different setting after the last one had them wandering around a ‘town hall’ setting. Not sure about you but I have never been to a town hall or a ‘town hall’ but if this is what a town hall is all about, I’d rather not be invited.


For this one they are going to be sitting next to each other in a Meet the Press format, which will probably not lead to any fireworks. The best hope for some action might be watching the seething anger in McCain which for him might feel like the equivalent of being forced to sit next to the kid who beat you out for the JV basketball team when you were in 10th grade, f*cking Coach Auggie.

Gotta say one thing about Palin, I kind of like here with the hair down. With it up she looks like hot librarian reprimanding a bunch of white kids but with the hair down she looks like that same librarian strutting on stage to WhiteSnake.



Today we feature a new Relief Bitcher
Bump Bein is 3-4 with a 4.21 ERA but does strike out more than one man per inning.   Mitch Williams has nothing on this guy

as special guest sports correspondent to the takeonrighetti, I can't stand this calling a time out as the kicker is about to kick a game winning/tying field goal. it's bush. you call yourselves professionals, practice all week, charge prices for a professional football contest, draw up and run intricate plays with many layers, watch film all week,... all so you can call this equivalent of a "psych" they should make a change to that rule and fine a coach if he pulls that bush league bullshit.

how do you end a text conversation

 










rant
Philthy makes the following point the other day, why a text message conversation can never end easily.    Seems to annoy the piss out of me too cause the conversation drags for no real reason.

R: "hey what was the name of that movie you were telling me about?"

J-  "Dark City"

R- "that's right, thanks"

J- "no problem"

R- "have a good weekend"

J-"you too"

R- "later"

J- "later"


at $0.05/message this seems like an awfully expensive way to drag on a conversation... I know we are moving into this tech world which is supposed to make communication easier but really do we have to be cordial in every possible setting?   This is why that blackberry messenger thing is so good, because the assumption there is that the conversation never 'ends' it just pauses.   You ask a question, get an answer and the next time you need something you start it back up again..

The reason that blackberry messenger works for me but AIM or MSN messenger doesn't has to do with the fact that the BB messenger is on your person and somehow the expectations are different that the CPU based messenger programs. People (at least of my generation) also don't expect you to hold a prolonged conversation over this thing.
This is primarily a problem when you get into a MSN messenger conversation with somebody you have no real interest in talking to.   I'm sitting at work, you know minding my own business when all of a sudden right on top of my excel sheet a window pops open with some inane message like
"what you doing?"

the rest of the conversation goes something like this
"not much, what's up?"
"nothing"
"cool....."
"what are you up to?"
"running you know, keeping busy"

I then minimize the window and go back to work when 2 minutes later the stupid window blinks orange again with the message 
"you are not very good at this"

WTF, i didn't ask to get into this conversation and I can't be asked to be a dancing monkey at a moment's notice.   I hate my life sometimes.


end rant

Big Trouble with a little Chinese food

Have I learned nothing in the last 32 years?

I sit down last night at the best/worst Chinese restaurant in NYC and my eyes and stomach is met with the best and worst of New York's Chinese cuisine.. One dish more flavorful then the next and with each bite my stomach does another round of jumping jacks.. The ulcer growing exponentially in my stomach.

It is now 15 hours later and I am standing on line for the crapper at some shitty deli and the chick who decided to lock herself in the can right in front sounds like she is giving birth in there..

The Prospect Park janitorial crew must be thankful that I'm not running today.

My life is incredibly bad

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

with the Dow back to 2003 levels is there any chance I can get my 2003 liver back?

It is getting nasty out there.. Forget American's Chickens, this Ayers thing is coming home to roost.. Palin is on an assault and the conservative talk show hosts (Hannity, Mark Levin, Rush) are all over it.. You know that they have wanted to paint him a terrorist for months and this McCarthyism mentality of guilt by association tied with the post 9/11 "harboring terrorists" combo is going to be their card. And we haven't heard anything from Reverend Wright yet. I actually don't believe this is a "Republican thing" as it is the nature of these politicians. I'm sure that if McCain had dinner with David Duke twenty years ago, the Obama team would be all over it.

We might have a chance to see it that's true since salon.com is reporting that Palin has close ties to an Alaskan group looking to secede from the USA, so there are a ton of skeletons in every one of their closets..

And now Cindy McCain is on the warpath, calling out Obama for voting against funding the troops (his vote was not against the troops but instead was because it did not have a timeline for withdrawal).. McCain also voted against funding the troops (when a measure which DID include a timeline came before the Senate but Bimbo McCain might have forgotten that.

What is most obvious is that Cindy seems to be a bit jealous of Palin and is trying to show her manthat she is also not afraid to get nasty. You know the old rule, you can't put two pussies in a room and not expect a little scratching. These two chicks are basically peeing all over the carpet trying to lay claim to parts of this campaign and McCain's gotta be loving it. Hot wife and a hot running mate, lets just hope he can get it up.

Bush is trying to add certainty to the markets but every time he opens his mouth, the dow drops again. What is dropping quicker, Bush's support amongst his base or the DOW?
Just look at this

"Over the past few days," Bush said, "we have witnessed a startling drop in the stock market, much of it driven by uncertainty and fear. This has been a deeply unsettling period for the American people."

Read a great response to this on the interwebs today

Yeah...their is a lot being driven by uncertainty and fear....maybe...just maybe...that uncertainty and fear is being driven by a President that said "we have to have a $700 billion bailout....and MY GOD WE NEED IT RIGHT NOW!!!"

The good news (sort of) is that all the great Wall Street Crashes have happened in October and most of the time it rebounded a bit in November. The bad news we still have about 3 weeks to go till Halloween.


How god-awful is Saturday Night live other than the couple of skits that Tina Fey does, this show is almost completely unwatchable.. Weekend Update desk would be more funny if they just showed an empty desk for 10 minutes... terrible


On a slightly different note, Francessa and Benigno working together today might very well be the future of WFAN, love the combo. Joe B seems like a natural fit in place of Russo cause at least he watches sports. I'd love to see Mike and Joe together for a while, maybe bring Sidney Arthur back to do the middays and get rid of Screetch all together

You know we are F’d when the National Debt Clock runs doesn’t have enough numbers

NEW YORK (AP) -- The National Debt Clock in New York City has run out of
digits to record the growing figure. As a short-term fix, the digital dollar
sign on the billboard-style clock near Times Square has been switched to a
figure -- the "1" in $10 trillion. It's marking the federal government's current
debt at about $10.2 trillion. The Durst Organization says it plans to
update the sign next year by adding two digits. That will make it capable
of tracking debt up to a quadrillion dollars. The late Manhattan real estate
developer Seymour Durst put the sign up in 1989 to call attention to what was
then a $2.7 trillion debt.

Unlike the rest of you liberal wienies, I’m not afraid to check out Rush or O’Reilly or Hannity or FoxNews or the Post, although the latter mostly for Page6.

Listening to Rush (the wacky right winger not the terrible guitar jackoff band) yesterday I did think he made a great point when he was talking about how ridiculous these elections get as they grovel for the undecided votes. His point is basically that these entire campaigns throw away everything they stand for, just to try to appeal to the 10% of the people who obviously haven’t paid any attention so far.

Honestly, how many people do you know who are truly undecided and not just un-interested? Most everybody at this point has made a decision and if you haven’t you are probably listening to way too much Rush.
Look at the audience at the 2nd debate, these were a group of people who claim to be truly undecided, what did they have in common? They all looked and sounded it was like they should be locked up in strait-jackets. These people will be the ones who decide who the president is, not the people who are truly informed, read the newspaper, pay attention and have true political conviction. This is like giving me the final decision on an American Idol championship and I decide that I like Carrie Underwood’s t*ts better than Kelly Clarkson’s.

I also watched the Palin interview with Greta Van Susteren. If there is a more hideous looking human than Greta Van Susteren show her to me because I think they are showing little kids pictures of her mug the same way they showed us Nightmare on Elm Street.

This woman’s face looks like it’s been beaten with hammers filled with collagen. I saw her on the street once and thought she could easily be one of those hobos who make money by standing on a box in the middle of Times Square completely frozen. This interview was about as in-depth as an US Weekly feature which revealed NOTHING about her views and just allowed her to go back to her stump speeches. At what time can we see some guts in journalism? O’Reilly is nuts and a right-wing nut but at least he’s not afraid to get in your face, Greta should be put out to pasture or at least be set out on some farm to scare away the crows.

Those Stupid red-yellow-green lights were very disturbing

Round 2 of the Great Presidential Debate and I'm left wondering why McCain ever agreed to do this. Not just the debate but everything. McCain was one of the most respected men in the Senate, he DID reach across hundreds of times and he built a reputation based on honesty, hard work and bipartisanship.. But why get into this? I said it about a month ago right in these pages, the senator that loses the presidential race seems to lose all relevance, all the respect of the colleagues. He returns to the Senate a beaten man, one that the country chewed over and spit back, and for a guy his age this is his last chance anyway.

Now to the debate..
Was it just me or did you sit there the entire time, not paying attention to what either McCain or Obama was saying but instead staring at those light? It was completely distracting and obviously served no practical purpose as both candidates, but Obama in particular, would speak for full minutes after the red light went off. I like to hear myself talk but Good God, I would hope somebody put me out of my (or their) misery if I would ever have the stamina to go at this for the lengths they did.

Regular TakeOnRighetti reader Zeke sent me a text message half way through saying "they need to run this thing like PTI", add the categories they will be discussing on a bar on the side and then sound a loud bell when the time was up. Adding the question to the bottom of the screen might be helpful too but I don't think it would have made much difference to the candidates.


Oh yeah, the funniest thing about this debate was that to call it a debate is really an insult to the term debate. This idiotic restrictive town-hall format, , completely goes against the entire concept of a debate. They don't interact, Brokaw never calls either one out when they avoid the question, there is no follow up, no follow through nothing..
This thing was no better than watching two campaign stump speeches spliced together on YouTube. Why waste everybody's time if this is what we are going to get??? The entire thing moderated by a guy who sounds like the Godfather or Weird Al in the Nirvana spoof.

and honestly, can they get a more unattractive bunch of people for that studio audience. These must me the hobos living out of garbage cans or people they've gotten straight from the mental institution because these people do not represent my views. The TOR view is the following "you are going to be on National Television, broadcasted live by 10 different stations to 100 million people worldwide, put on matching socks, wear a clean shirt and comb your hair" This is what the rest of the world thinks the American public is, a bunch of indecisive slobs.

Also. Michelle Obama take a lesson from your Republican counterpart. not only was that red dress dreadful it makes your ass look like one of those bean bag chairs.

I need a cold Beer

Heard the end of the following conversation today between a guy sitting on the street with a sign "will work for money" with some woman who could have been his mother, regarless she was the kind of chick who looked like she spends her afternoons having lunch with friends in between her getting manicures and appointments with her European personal trainer.    The guy looked slightly more normal than this dude but not much.

no exactly sure what started the conversation was like but i caught it about half way through and the end went something like this.

Homeless Guy: "what do you mean?"

Woman: "why don't you go out and do something with yourself..get a job"

Homeless Guy: "I'm here every day from 7 till 2"

Woman: "That is just not good enough"

Homeless Guy: "what do you want from me?"

Woman "more than you are doing now"

I have no idea what started this conversation but I've often wondered how you see the same guy sitting on the stoop begging for loose change every day. Seems like the have enough drive to get up and get that done, wonder why they can't translate that into a job......maybe it was because he smelled like urine, but who am i to judge.

Was watching CNN around lunchtime with Bernanke speaking to some press conference and the CNN anchor (some hootchy wearing a brown or maroon blazer) says.

"It's amazing, every time that Paulson or Bernanke speaks the DOW drops another 200 points"

CNN has one of those 24 hour DOW tickers in the corner now, and I noticed that during Bush's press conference it dropped 300 points also.

Story of the week

Richard Fuld, the disgraced head of Lehman Brothers, was punched in the face in the office gym amid the bank's collapse.

that's fantastic!!!

I knew my water tasted funny

Read the following in the NY Times today

But some of those spots are being lampooned by people who point out that water filters cannot be recycled, at least in the United States. “In order to give up bottled water, you have to switch to another plastic product that’s not recyclable,” said Beth Terry of Oakland, Calif., who has started an online campaign to try to persuade Clorox, the company that owns Brita, to start recycling the filters.

Now I'm not nearly as uncomfortable with the fact that these filters are not recyclable as I am with the fact that they are made by Clorox.

Four years ago the DOW hit 14,000.. As i'm typing this it sits at about 9900.. somebody see if we still have that empty bottle of champagne from 4 years ago and try to wring the mop used to clean up the mess back into the bottle.

Is it just me or does it seem that Williams Kristol seems to have lost all his bite, like when we took our beagle and cut off his balls and now he has no sex drive at all. If I needed to hear this kind of lame conservative writing I'll check out Lou Dobbs.

For all the heat that FoxNews gets for being a total party shill for the GOP, there is something worse... MSNBC

This channel has become completely unwatchable, it so partisan that I'm surprised we haven't found compromising pictures of Olberman diddling Chris Mathews which Howard Dean is using as blackmail.

About a month ago they added Rachel Maddow who somehow managed to get a shittier haircut than me which is hard to imagine. They have a couple of decent newsmen and women (David Gregory, Norah O'Donnell and Chuck Todd) but from 7pm till midnight it's so disgustingly pro-Dem that it makes O'Reilly and Hannity seem sane.

If Obama does win, will it lead to Olberman sitting in front of Bristol College with a sign that reads "will shill for sports!!"

Norah O'Donnell is still a ton hotter than her sister in crime Kelly but she could really stand to lose about 20 pounds of that post pregnancy weight.

How can something so bad in one state be so great in another?

For all of this country's military might, for all our manufacturing prowess, all of our grit, our heart and our greatest resource our people why when you drop $2.49 at a Supermarket which is truly Americano are you you disappointed? Why is title track of our cuisine taste like somebody scratched toe fungus into a bowl and somehow mush it together to get it stretchy. Why the hell can't we make a decent cheese? It's an embarrassment when you go to Europe and you see that the French have 60 types of cheese and the one cheese that carries our country's name gets served in single wrapped slices of totally processed yellow gunk.

This is kind of like the American people, at first taste people might be a bit disgusted but for all its detractions, a slice of American Cheese is absolutely the ONLY choice you when melted as part of an egg and cheese, melted on a grilled burger or best yet melted between two slices of bread for a grilled cheese.

So maybe Palin would be easier to swallow if we melted her?

How can you tell if your city will vote Democratic or Republican?

I've been trying to explain to a few friends why there is a certain sector of this country who completely embraces Sarah Palin while another sector is completely frightened by her. All of her "Heck Yeah", "Darnit" and "you betcha"'s seems to put the fear of Jesus in half the country while the other half hears it and just feels they are slightly closer to Jesus.Now how can you tell if somebody will like Sarah Palin.. .

I've come up with an almost fool-proof method of finding out which way politically a city will lean. If the city has both a TGI Fridays and a Chili's within 1 mile of an Applebees and an Olive Garden, then its citizens will have a higher opinion of somebody like George Bush. Basically there is a direct correlation between the total amount of sit-down chain restaurants in a 5 mile radius and whether we can save CNN some time and just paint your county red now. I like chain restaurants as much as anybody but I feel terrible for these poor people they couldn't get a really good meal in 500 miles.the amount of acid indigetion that the poor schleps who eat all those chicken fingers must have might be equal to the amount og agita the rest of wienies feel when we get stuck with George Bush

Posted by
Righetti

I'm looking forward to Saturday Night Live for the first time since I was in the 10th grade.

So should we discuss the White Sox/Rays game or the VP Debate??

Wasn't the train-wreck I was hoping for and Palin came across better than expected. She spoke directly to the country both literally and figuratively. Her body language was 10 times better than McCain's was and she spoke to the problems of "average Americans" although by "average Americans" I mean ones who think the Olive Garden is great dining.

Expectations for Palin were about equal to what your expectations should be if you decide to start Mewelde Moore against the the original Steel Curtain but that is what this election is all about.... low expectations.

I heard a great analysis on this thing by a guy from the conservative NewsMax, he made a great point. What she did here was re-energize her base; she did not bring any independents or undecided voters into her camp. His point was that after the convention, your base should already be energized but that she has wasted the last 4 weeks losing support and this might have only gotten the wayward followers back into the fold. That is like saying the market is up today and celebrating!!!

The Times put it best when they basically called her entire 'debate' a prolonged stump speech, she couldn't even stay on topic. Ifill asked about health care and she answers about energy. With all of that said, Palin does have the ability to connect with those "average Americans".

Gwen Ifill is absolutely terrible, although to be fair she was fair, I was looking for more than just fair. I didn't want somebody to just read questions, rather somebody who could engage the candidates; she treated the moderator gig like she was reading questions at a couple trivial pursuit night.

She should be put out to pasture.

Biden was decent although all the women I have discussed this with were disappointed he didn't go on the attack more than he did.. He does lose me completely at times when he gets into nuance like when he tried to explain McCain's tax credit for health-care and how that would be offset relative to having your employer covered health care taxed as part of income. Something about $5000 and $12,000// He would have been better off saying "McCain plan gives you $5000 but will tax you $12,000, a net loss to American people of $7000", remember you are talking to "average Americans"

also.. the Times reported today that his big proclamation of 3 Weeks in Iraq = 7 years of Afghanistan doesn't fly. The numbers are something like $7.5 billion for Iraq in three weeks and $17.2 billion in total for Afghanistan. His point would have resonated the same way if he had said "less than 2 months in Iraq = total cost of Afghanistan" and then he would have been right. Why open yourself up for unneeded criticism.

There were a few times I really wanted him to interrupt that ditz Ifill and ask Palin straight up to answer the goddarn question. When she winked at the screen, I almost made a mess of my workpants.
My biggest problem with her isn’t that she doesn’t come across as genuine in her persona. She’s a chick who tells you that she is from small town America, went to 5 colleges in 6 years to get a Bachelors degree in communication, who goes to PTA meetings and gets her opinion on Israel changed, doesn’t read the newspaper and if she does she reads nice colorfull ones like the USA Today, who married a guy who keeps his cell phone clipped to his belt, has a daughter who got knocked up in high school, who doesn’t care much about foreigners, who shoots bison or moose or something and she’s unapologetic about all of it.  I think this all has a bit of charm to it but just because you are average doesn’t mean you should run the country. If you are average you shouldn’t even run the marathon

Lets get ready to rumble!!!!

as I begin to type this we are less than 5 hours away from what could be the most anticipated one-on-one battle since Hogan vs Andre the Giant in WrestleMania 3.


It's bound to completely dissapoint, I'm sure..but at the end of the day we all rubber neck when there is an car wreck and the chance that this could be a 40 car pile-up will get the entire country watching.  Or maybe you'll be watching Rays vs WhiteSox baseball.   Best call of the morning is that Dennis Eckersley now looks exactly like Steve Perry with his crappy haircut

Gotta love one thing about Obama, he was on Mike and Mike this morning and said that if elelected POTUS he would get rid of the BCS and use an executive order for an NCAA Football playoff system. That is the most concrete position that he's ever taken on anything.
Rumor is that he kicked the crap out of Stuart Scott in a game of one-on-one also.. Maybe we can get him to be the next anchor for MNF if he doesn't become POTUS.

I have been thinking of this for a while but have you noticed that every one of Palin's suit jackets looks the same, just different colors.. They always have this high collar that sort of frames her head like a circumsized penis.

I've put together a collage

After Yesterday, maybe God Hates Me!!!

Left for my morning run today hoping to not have a repeat of yesterday but things didn't seem like it would work as well..

I walk out of the house and I saw something I have never before seen. I take two steps out of the front door and all of a sudden BOOM. I'm shocked partly because it is 6:30 in the morning but mostly because something apparantly fell from a window or roof or something.

I don't have much time to think because the item that fell right at my feet, gets up and runs away. I guess squirels are not like cats as they don't always land on their feet. This thing basically did a belly flop right on the sidewalk. I still find them disgusting.

Gotta love/hate Palin's answer to Couric's question about the Newspapers she reads.. She comes back with "all of them".. Sorry toots, the chances of you reading even one of them all the way through on a day is hard enough to believe. I'm not sure on a Sunday morning her goatee having husband rips away the sports section for local hockey news while she digs deep through the comics.

Here's a new rule. "If your newspaper comes with a comic section on Sunday, it's probably not a very good paper to start off with"


Today, my friend Rachel hits the mound as our Relief Bitcher. She's got a record of 4-3 with a 3.84 ERA and a WHIP of 1.80, so you don't know what you are getting expect..


"Boston.Com reported the following
A majority -- 51 percent -- say she is not qualified to be president, a reversal from just after the Republican convention a month ago when 52 percent said she was qualified, the Pew Research Center for the People & the Press reported. Palin has lost ground among independents, and that is hurting John McCain, who made her his surprise running mate.

Is that really something to write about? Without the actual data (which actually does support the idea and is quite heartwarming to us crazy liberals), you are left thinking --- well, 49 percent now thing she's qualified, compared to 52 percent before. Ooohhh, how significant?! At least, that's what those of us can do math are thinking!"