Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Why do I spend $30 when it will look exactly the same

So after some recent goading from some friends, I decided to pass up the typical Righetti haircut which consists of walking into a joint with a huge Parrot where a guy named Israel who happens to be Jewish uses a buzzer to cut my hair in a grand total of 7 minutes for a grand total of $10 plus tip. iIt's obviously a pretty good deal and it's quick and easy since there is usually nobody in there plus the huge parrot keeps you entertained because I think he can sing that Numa Numa song.    Then again this place drums up business by handing out fliers in the morning from a guy with a huge sandwich board sign around him who hobbles around on one good foot and one bad one.    What should tip you off about the quality of the haircut you are going to get at this place is two folds. 
1) the guy handing out the fliers has the kind of haircut they give mental patients when they first enter the asylum and
2) the guy who hands out the fliers in the morning is the sometimes the same dude who cuts your hair in the afternoon

Now i'm all for working hard and it's only a haircut,  but if my doctor used the same type of marketing scheme, I'd basically be going to Dr. Zizmore for everything from pimples to rectal warts.

Well.. I've been pretty unhappy with the crappy haircuts I get at the place with the fliers and the huge parrot, so decided as ago a few months ago to venture into unknown territories.  I went to one of those Jean Claude Van Haircuts places.   You know the type where you spend $30 and some chick with a german accent torments you with that Nietzsche inspired cold blooded gaze.   I sit down and tell the German chick that I want it "short on the sides but leave it slightly longer on the top to go for that messy look that seems popular recently" 
She tells me that she knows exactly what I want and shows me a picture on the wall which is completely not what I'm looking for.  The picture she shows me if of one of those standard Long Island haircuts, you know the type where the dude puts all his hair forward except the front few strands which have to then stand straight up like it's a dam trying to hold back rushing water.    I want the messy look which can be combed down when I'm at work and kept messy when I hit an Irish bar or a Mexican restaurant.   Not the kind of look you spend 3 hours to get right when you plan to spend the night going to crappy B&T clubs down the the meat-packing district

Well $30 plus tip later I walk out of Jean Claude Van Haircut with basically the same crappy haircut I usually get from the parrot guy except now it cost me $35 total.  The entire experience was miserable because the chick kept insisting I get that stupid Long Island thing and I kept insisting that I wanted more of George Clooney deal.  Instead I look like I have wings cut into the side of my head, basically she gave me the Brian Bosworth.