Taking Flight

The 6AM flights out of LaGuardia bring together an interesting mix of people. Old and Young, rich and poor, short and fat but in all my years of flying I have come up with the fool proof method of telling how unpleasant a flight will be by the people on it. What is the mix of business travelers to tourists.

Business Travelers have a routine: get to the airport, get right through the security line, grab the paper and a coffee and board onto the flight. Tourists dilly-dally, have no sense of urgency, are usually the ones who take all their crap out of their carry-on's at the security but mostly disrupt the rest of their passengers while on board.

Have more than 25% tourists on board and your flight will leave late because they cannot find their seats. These are always the people who sit in the wrong seat or don't understand any flight protocol like don't start playing a game of Jenga before the seats between you and the window are occupied.

Have more than 25% tourists on it and the chances of some overhead storage is nill.
Business travelers are bad too but it's the tourist whose mismatched bags will never fit into the rectangular shape. They are the ones that will also put one bag in the middle of the bin and then close the flap.

Have more than 25% tourists and realize that you will get no rest.

See if I get up at 4:30 to take the early flight out, I intend to sleep while on board but when some snot-nosed kid decides to scream in my ear for 2 hours that consolation prize is taken from me.
If you cannot control your kid from screaming they (and you) should not be allowed to fly at 6AM. Airlines should have specific flights dedicated to bratty kids and their over indulgent parents so that the hard working professional has a chance at a much needed 45 minutes of shut-eye.

Have more than 95% tourist and you wonder if you mistakenly boarded a flight to Orlando.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry