Long Haired Freaky people need not apply

I notice weird things but...


I have been doing an informal survey and have noticed that most white dudes over the age of 30 with long hair are also usually about 30bs overweight.    I can't figure out why there is this correlation but the two seem to go hand-in-hand, it's as if they are trying desperately to reconnect with an era which is gone by looking like they crawled out of their dungeon apartment where they were kept captive by Everquest and Cheese Doodles.


Now i'm not talking about the total obese dude, but rather the guy who carries that extra 25 or 30 pounds with the " I don't give a crap what i look like" attitude   I'm convinced that somewhere somebody is giving chubby white-guys some bad-advice and telling them to grow their hair cause this is what girls want.   See if they paid any attention they would notice that the 240 pound dude with shoulder length hair always leaves the bar alone.  


It's as if this guy is wearing a sandwich sign around his head which screams  'I give up, I'll never get laid' because the third feature that the chubby, long-haired white dude has is he always dresses like he doesn't care what other people think.  But not in a good way, it's almost always in that really bad way, the entire look says 'i'm living in my parent's basement and I run Linux for fun'


The 32 year old dude with the long hair isn't taking you back to the beauty of 1992, he's taking you back to living in the basement of your parents house.  Mind you this comes from a guy who had hair down to the middle of his back in 1998 and whose had wall to wall Axl Rose and Kurt Cobain posters and who was easily 40lbs overweight at one point (although never with the long hair).


Now this is a different look than the much older white dude with long hair who wears it is in a pony tail and rocks the whole "I banged a lot of hippies in 1969" look.   This look is usually relegated to a guy over 50 who matches his pony tail with a bad goatee and circle lens glasses.  See this look sucks too but at least this guy isn't fat and if nothing else he stands for something.

So please fat white guy, you are already so predictable and white-washed, can't you at least entertain us with a clean cut?



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