Having to take the bus from NJ to the city this week as my apartment is going through an almost complete gut renovation I’ve come to notice the actions of suburbanites and quite frankly it’s bothersome. One of the things you notice in the Suburbs is how ridiculous the commute it, unlike the subway which is a totally shoving and pushing match, when people wait for the bus they stand in one orderly line and wait till other people get off. I felt like somebody transported me from New Jersey to Taipei as I stood at the bus-stop. I guess it’s the city life but the subway really shows you the way people are.
Take my 5 month pregnant wife, she gets onto the subway with her belly sticking out and every jackass sitting on the train immediately looks down to avoid eye-contact. God forbid that you stand your XXL ass up for 5 minutes to let a pregnant lady sit. I am the biggest sucker for this stuff myself, everytime I get a seat and I see any woman who could possibly be pregnant coming onto the train I jump up and offer it. Although sometimes after I get up I realize the chick actually isn’t pregnant but just fat. I don’t take any chances though, any woman who could possibly need a seat will get one from me, cause I’m a sucker for chivalry. Then again if you are driving your decked out Honda Civic through my neighborhood blasting Salsa at 100,0000 decibels at 2AM on a Sunday night or shove your way onto a subway car before others have a chance to get out what level of class do you have anyway?
But the suburbs aren’t perfect either, they have their own defiant behavior like how every person on the bus or commuter train will sit on the outside seat leaving the inside seat open. I know you don’t want to sit next to somebody but get over yourself, it’s public transportation at 8AM going to NYC you can’t expect to have two seats all your own. It’s the same routine every morning, some chick sitting doing everything she possibly can to avoid eye-contact and then when you ask her to move so that you can get a seat she looks at you like you are the one inconveniencing her. Then instead of moving over and taking the inside seat, she kind of rotates her body forcing me to do some kind of reverse limbo as I climb over her trying to not to touch her while avoiding the overhead storage compartment with my big-bobble head while the bus is speeding down the road hitting every pothole and bump from there to Port Authority.
1 comment:
hi david, how's your week? you ignored my last email and i guess it's cuz i asked too many personal questions. but i really need to know these things cuz i'm worried for myself. lately i'm very into babies. i also find myself staring at expecting women all the time. i hate the word pregnant. that sounds fugly, right? but expecting sounds really prettier.
so omfg i totally agree about the sitting-on-the-outside-seat thing on the buses annoys the sh!t outta me. i mean, i've done it a few times too but then i realize how i obnoxious it is and as much as i don't wanna be trapped on the inside seat either cuz i get scared that i won't get off the bus quickly enough and i'll miss my stop cuz in junior high school, that used to happen to me on the crowded bus. anyways, the sitting-on-the-outside-thing. i force myself to sit on the inside now even though you're totally inviting ppl to sit next to you. i love your references to size XXL ppl. it always cracks me up. today i was running around like crazy and couldn't read your blog so i had withdrawal. i have no time for anything this week so i'm really pissed that i still haven't watched the real housewives of nj season finale yet. i also am overdue for a self-absorbed soliloquy.
Post a Comment