Ass Juice

Have you ever sat down and felt like you were leaking? Kind of like you are a VOLTRON combination of a pregnant chick leaking and ass sweat.

This doesn’t happen that often but there are certain days when you just don’t feel right and all of a sudden you are leaking like a punctured tire. To be clear this is NOT a situation where you thought you were just going to blow wind but instead found yourself sitting in a warm puddle. I don’t even know how to call it other than ass-juice cause this isn’t really the runs as much as it is lack of muscle strength.

It usually happens when you've had a liquid diet, bad eggs or really runny chili and always seems to happened when you find yourself sitting on the subway or at work. Everything is going just dandy and all of a sudden SPLAT you feel a warm puddle under your ass. There isn’t a warning, a pain, just a lack of pinching powder and then you sitting in a puddle.

How do you build up ass muscle strength so this does happened? Stairmaster, glute buster, ass cruncher?

My life is so incredibly bad.