Take on the debate

With the announcement that the Republican debate would likely be held over two separate sessions with an NCAA play-in game feel, TOR thought it was time to rank the players

Since we have limited space, we'll leave it only for the ones who have a shot

4-1 odds Jeb. He looks just like Mike Francesa, sounds like a giant turd and has the same genetic makeup of the biggest screwup of a president but he's married to a Hispanic woman, seems to be sensible and not a total nutcase (compared to the other guys in the field). He has name recognition, was a governor of a big swing state, looks like the mind of dweeb who wears dockers on a Sunday but falls in that "the evil you know is better than the evil you don't" category for most

8-1 Scott Walker. Honestly he is winning this republican nomination thing and it won't be close but he can't be considered a favorite until he walks up to Jeb and gives him a wedgie, hopefully it of the atomic variety

14-1 Rubio. Might be higher if he can get a more clear consistent message and stops playing to the crazies

20-1. Christie. His chances are probably lower but he will destroy in the debates

30-1 the black guy. Ben Carson

35-1 Rand Paul. Sorry Zed but we're not ready for his type of truth and anybody who believes that 9/11 was an inside job probably shouldn't hold a top office positron

40-1 Ted Cruz. He is considered the intellectual voice of the TeaParty movement which is like saying you are the the skinniest guy at fat camp
There is no chance in hell he wins the nomination, zero. Still he is higher than the next few chumps

45-1 Huckabee. I swear to you that this guy has Hulk Hogan skeletons in his closet. (The bang your buddy's wife type not the hate on Virgil type)

55-1 Trump. He is 10-1 odds worse than Huckabee and Huckabee has NO shot. His fall from the top will be meteoric but entertaining all the way through

The rest of them: Bobby Jindal is a giant turd, Pataki is a douce, Fiorina would lose an election for 8th grade treasure yet she still continues to blow her fortune running, Kasich the average American hasn't heard of him, even the politically involved couldn't pull him out of a lineup and even his own wife wouldn't vote for him. Lindsay Graham, sorry dude but no. Rick Perry put on those glasses and hopes nobody recognizes him as the giant troll that he is. Rick Santorum has as much of a shot as he did four years ago, four years before that and four years before that and then there are a few other guys who I can't remember which is probably a good thing..or not




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