Take on red velvet strap open toed shoes for a man

Was in the bagel shop this weekend and a dude walked in with John Stockton length Bahamas shorts and a pair of red velvet strap on shoes. This look is not acceptable for any dude, I don't care who or what you are. Not only is it ridiculously ugly, they are also completely impractical. You can't wear velvet shoes to the pool and the straps have to make them a total pain to put on and off and the fact they are open toed means that you have to keep your cuticles cut which is about as likely for a dude like me as seeing me shave wearing John Stockton Bahama shorts