Saturday, May 2, 2009

StarSucks


I've heard every complaint, every knock and every criticism about this place

-Every drink costs at least $4
-Each drink has more calories in a cup than a Big Mac
-The men's room always has a puddle of piss which serves as a moat to separates the toilet from the front of your sneakers.
-You can't ever get a seat because of the squatting rules

But my complaint is deeper than all of this.  It has nothing to do with the atmosphere although I do think it's pompous to walk around with one of those large Starbucks paper cups and I think it preys on the stupidity of people as it convinces you to pay twice what it would cost you anywhere but my complaint is based on the fact that the coffee at Starbucks sucks.  I have a four cup a day habit and will tell you that there is no chance I'd choose a skim milk mocha double dutch latte over a cup of regular Dunkin Donuts plain unsweetened mud in a cup.   What they sell you as their dark rich blends tastes like I used my running socks as a coffee filter, what they sell as their Colombian brand tastes like it needs sewage treatment and their special Starbuck blends might as well be burned tire.


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