Tuesday, May 19, 2009

the endless loop


My biggest Pet Peeve is an easy one.. It ranks above those circus tent umbrellas people carry, the fact that smokers litter their used buds without being reprimanded or fined and even above people who get into subways before other people have gotten off.
This pet-peeve trumps them all.

How often do I call some kind of 800 numbers and get thrown into a Being John Malkovich type loop of automated phone calls?
It usually goes something like this



Automated voice
Thank you for calling Time Warner Cable, the place to be, to better assist you please tell me what you are calling about today?

Righetti
my internet is down

Automated voice
I'm sorry I did not get that, please state your issue again?

Righetti
My internet is down

Automated voice
Let me get this right, you are having issues with your cable TV?

Righetti
(getting pissy)
No, my internet is down

Automated voice
I'm sorry we are having problems, can you state your problem again slowly?

Righetti
(Over annunciating every syllable)
NO IN -TER- NET

Automated Voice
I'm still not getting you.. Let's try this again, what
are you calling about

Righetti
(blood is starting to boil).
OPERATOR

Automated Voice
I understand you want to speak with a customer care
representative, in order to get you to the right place please state what you are
calling about

Righetti
(Fuming).
GIVE ME A FUCKING OPERATOR

Automated voice
we will connect you to
the next available operator, to better assist you please say or enter your
account number"


Etc. Etc.



Now I will be the first to tell you that I have no patience at all for customer service people, but I somehow have less for voice recognition customer service centers.

Even if you get through a portion of this exercise of stupidity unscathed you will inevitably be asked to give the live operator a bunch of the same information (like account number etc.) you have already put into the automated system.

I am convinced that these things are set up to frustrate the consumer to the point they just hang up... Or otherwise by the time they get a live person on the phone they are so flustered that they cannot make a decent point.


Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

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