Dudes should NEVER share an umbrella

I don't believe in sharing-umbrellas, 

Now it's not like Santa Clause, the Easter Bunny or Adam and Eve as obviously I know that sharing an umbrella actually exists but I find that this sharing umbrella thing is about as close to denying the existence of Jesus as it gets.  I'm not homophobic but I can't think of a single situation I would voluntarily share an umbrella with some dude, it's like going to the movies and not taking the buffer-seat.  

I know that some of you are worried about your hair or your button-downs but there has to be a better way than having two drenched dudes pressing against each other under a thin piece of plastic.  Now if you are that concerned about getting your hair messed up maybe you should see how incredibly ghay it looks when you two are pressed together like you are tuna and toast.   Now if there was a tornado I might think differently but when it gets to a point when two dudes share an umbrella when the rain is coming down at the rate of a geriatric man's piss I  worry.  Forget education, our total inability to handle a little rain-water is why we are falling behind the rest of the world, people don't ask their buddy into the shower with them because they fear they may get wet or hug them when they jump into a pool.   

First of all no self respecting man should be carrying an umbrella when it's drizzling to walk a block.

Number B: do you realize that logistically it doesn't even work;  as no normal size umbrella can hold two normal size dudes.    So for the awkwardness of sharing your personal space you get the pleasure of having only one wet shoulder.   I'm all about ying-and-yang, if one side is wet let the other side be just as wet.

I don't care if the world is coming to an end two dudes sharing an umbrella is like crossing streams.

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry