Sunday, June 20, 2010

What a life

So imagine you are on your first big salestrip to Asia on the eve of your first big day and you have to wear your black suit because the Korean Dry-cleaner lost the gray one, you've got the runs from the street vendor kimchee and you look in the mirror and realize you look like a chia-pet. This is when you step back and think you that maybe you should have been a nicer person because the joke is on you this time.

The only redeeming factor is the fact that I went from having a terrible haircut in NYC to having a very average haircut in Seoul which mind you has nothing to do with hair miraculously growing back. There must be some kind of Bermuda Triangle effect to barbers because every haircut here looks like it was done under heavy duress so my really crappy one is just one of a dozen.

I feel a lot less self-conscious than I otherwise might but I still wonder where I go wrong at these barbers. See I have tried hundreds of different barbers and even a few salons and my haircut always looks somewhere between good and masterful when I look into the mirror at the barber shop but as soon as I get home and shower I look again and it appears my huge head has grown three-hat sizes. It's like those barber shops are using some kind of incredible soft-light or have replaced all their mirrors with fun-house ones because I cannot understand how the haircut that I walk out with even closely resembles the one I wake up with the next day. So this is why I go to the guy with the sandwich-board handing out flyers for a $12 haircut as opposed to blowing $38 at Jean Claude van Haircut because it doesn't matter what it looks like now, it always looks like Ray Charles cut my hair the next day and it will be three weeks before it's grown in enough to look decent. I'm so afraid of this moment that I wait well past it's time before getting the next one which means my family and friends have the pleasure of seeing me go morph from an Alfalfa look to a Dolph Lundgren, to the guy from Oasis, to Dudley Moore and finally Jim from The Office at which point I give up and start again.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

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