you people have to get real

I have accumulated the worst looks for a dude to have and am in the process of ranking them.. Many of these have already been chronicled in previous TOR’s but a comprehensive list is necessary.. As most of the TOR lists are, this will be a work in progress and we invite you to come up with some updates

1- The cell-phone clipped to the belt thing. Listen dude you are not robo-cop, you don’t need to have your cell-phone in a holster ready for a duel. Shove your electronics into your pocket so that the antenna can poke you in the dick and the radiation can give you ball-cancer like the rest of the real world

2- Goatee’s. Unless you happened to be a lumberjack or just came in on the Bill-and-Ted’s time-machine from 1995 there is NO reason you should still have what looks like a dead rat on your face. There probably isn’t a worst look than this anywhere and anybody sporting this who is not doing it as a total goof on the rest of society needs to be put out back

3- Ugly shorts. I’m all for the comfortable summer look (shorts, t-shirt and flip-flops) but this new obsession I’ve been seeing where one preppy idiot tries to outdo the rest of his idiot friends with these god-awful plaid shorts is really troubling.

4- Long Hair on Fat Guys. Unless you are hosting a Dungeons and Dragons luncheon in your parent’s basement, go to the barber and shave your head.

5- Ed Hardy anything..

6- Those clog shoes that dudes wear.. what the hell is wrong with you? Unless you are hosting a cheese party with a bunch of dutch-farmers this should not be something a guy should ever be caught dead wearing



By the way this blog entry serves as a warning to all you cell-phone belt clipping, goatee having, ugly shorts wearing, long-haired fat guys…. Get out of my way cause I’m coming at you.