Thursday, January 15, 2015

Take on Times Scare

Everyday I walk past this tourist trap on 8th avenue and 42nd Street
called Times Scare. It's billed as a top notch haunted house with 3.5
stars on Yelp and although I can't say I see that many people actually
go in, the impression is that some people (from Iowa probably) like
this place.
I have no desire to review it myself but I'd say that if they really
wanted to scare a bunch of tourists, I suggest they make it less
goblins and skeletons and more realistic. Forget a haunted house in
the traditional sense, they should make this place have more of a NYC
flare. Imagine a haunted house depicting Times Square in the mid
80's. Nothing can be more frighting than a bunch of hobos,
crackheads, pimps, hookers and flashers crammed into a space
previously occupied by a peep-show. Just imagine the bricks that
would be shat when some grandma from Wisconsin gets approached by a
6'5" ex-con with tattoos on his forehead, she tries to avoid him when
a crackhead grabs her by the arm which she pulls away only to fall
into a circle of Kool and the Gang wannabe's with gold chains telling
her they are gonna rob her. She gets up and get knocked back by a
two dollar whore with lines on her pale arms from here to Kansas and
when she turns around to run out an accountant flashes her his dingy

She'll bring those memories with her always.

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