Take on the Beach

For years I have tried to figure out why people love going to the
beach. It's crowded, it's sandy and it's hot which are all things I
go out of my way to avoid. If the sun burning cancer directly into my
skin isn't enough, the guidos, bad tattoos and drunks surely are as
the entire boardwalk is a collection of the ugliest and most out of
shape people.

The little that gets salvaged by spending a day burning up is washed
away with the filth surrounding you decides they need to start
drinking at 10am and usually don't finish until one of them drowns.

I think, I finally figured out a way to not feel miserable is to
realize how miserable these schmucks will feel tomorrow as they bathe
in aloe and prune juice.
Other than that it is a lot of sand in my ass-crack and puke on my feet