Taking on the neighborhood ahole

Sometimes my own stupidity even shocks me. Two days ago on my way back from the supermarket I dropped one of the bags as I tried to move it from one hand to another. The bag fell to the ground and as is my luck the bag contained a bottle of olive oil which at impacted shattered. I look down miffed since the bag still has a bunch of other groceries and I walk back feeling like an ahole because that bottle probably cost me $25 and now my $20 shoes are covered in grease

The next day as I walk home, the super from the building next to mine pulls me aside as I am walking home and confronts me about the stains all over the sidewalk. My gut instinct is to deny-deny-deny but as I look down the sidewalk the evidence is damming. There is a Hansel and Grettle trail which leads from the scene of the crime and leads directly to my door.

Anyway the super goes off and I beg for forgiveness and admit to my carelessness and stupidity. He is not having any of it and calls the act sociopathic. A few more apologies later, I promise to meet him that night with some Internet solutions after he explains he spent 2 hours scrubbing a 2 foot long patch with WD40 and only barely got anything out. I just know the Internet must have something but as I look down the sidewalk and see the trail extends the length of a football field I realize this is not going to be easy.

I feel terrible, this poor guy has to go and scrub this entire sidewalk or the owner of his building will have his head so I tell him I'll do everything I can to make it right.

We agree to meet after dinner after I have had a chance to do some research. Now obviously there aren't a lot of online examples quite as ridiculous as this but with all the oil leaks and spills in people's garages there are options. The issue is that most of the options are for small private spaces like pouring gasoline on the spot or using some kind of harsh chemicals which on a city block with kids and dogs playing would be sociopathic

Anyway I get some recommendation one of which is sprinkling powdered detergent and letting it sit to absorb the grease. I buy 4 boxes of the strongest crap I can get and sprinkle it the length of the block. Now i am hoping it works cause My block looks like the longest line of coke you could imagine






The super helps and an hour later after letting it set we try to hard-scrub it.
It is now 11pm and there on the sidewalk two immigrants are on hand and knees feverously scrubbing the sidewalk like we are washing away evidence of a murder. With the rain falling the entire street looks like a pool of white foam and dirt although I do take solace in the thought we might win cleanest sidewalk in New York.
But as we scrub and the rain starts washing away the suds we look down and find that the stains are still visible although we both convince each other that it looks a bit better. It is nearing midnight and we throw in the towel for the day. He tells me that he'll try power washing it tomorrow with some chemicals and we both walk home tired and dejected. I toss and turn all night feeling like I put this endless chore on this poor dude and vow to make it right

But at least I did learn a valuable lesson: had I known the evidence would be so obvious I would have broken a couple more bottles and trailed them to various other houses around the neighborhood