Have you ever spent any time looking over those inflight magazines while you ignore the stewardess (not sure why they aren't called this anymore) tries to explain how you have to put on a life vest. Well as I thumb through the Delta one last week I noticed the handy map they give you with all the routes that Delta flies. The problem is that with all the consolidations and mergers this flight map looks like a bowl of cold spaghetti. I mean what kind of psychopath could actually make sense if this thing, it's like one of those bizarro kid games you find on diner paper placemats where you have to find the cartoon kid to his cup using a bunch of tied up drawn drinking straws.
As I'm trying to find out if Delta flies from Pittsburgh to Milwaukee I get a craving for a milk shake and fries and a desire to figure out how many trips it would take to get 5 peaceful pilgrims across a river with a boat manned by 2 savage Indians knowing that the unsuspecting blancos should never be outnumbers or they will be savagely beaten (and possibly eaten) by their red-skinned friends
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