Uncle Junior

Living in Brooklyn people will always ask you how close you are to the Brooklyn Bridge, if you ever eat at Nathan's or ride the cyclone or if you have ever been to Bed-Stuy or East New York.   I can see the reason for all those questions but what I can't figure out is why everybody always asks you if you ever eat at Junior's.  The food is terrible, unimaginative and pricey and that's only half of it.

The reason's I despise the tourist trap is many..

First of all although it is famous for its cheesecake it is not even close to the best cheesecake you'll ever have but that in itself isn't the problem.

See Juniors is also a restaurant serving your standard chain-restaurant fare including burgers, iceberg salads and chicken fingers and like any good tourist trap the prices are ridiculously overpriced.  Today the people who frequent Juniors are the same people that would eat at the Olive Garden but even this isn't the reason to hate the place since stupid people have to eat

When you actually eat something off the completely uninteresting menu you find that the food is some of the worst one the planet you realize that this place is living off a reputation from some tour-book because nobody would ever eat here twice.. but even that is something I can look past.  

What makes Juniors the closest place to hell-on-earth (next to IKEA) is its location.  Now I'm not talking about it being convenient as it's fairly centrally located about a mile east off the Manhattan Bridge on Flatbush Avenue but instead my hatred comes from something else.    See Juniors is not only a glorified tourist trap where people will pay $18 for a terrible burger, wash it down with a coke and then top off their meal with a 1000 calorie desert but the front of the restaurant is a goddamn parking lot because every imbecile who will actually frequent this place thinks it's their right to double and triple-park all over Flatbush avenue.    Driving down the roughly 1 mile of Flatbush Avenue from the Bridge to the crossing with Atlantic Avenue is already one of the least pleasant experiences on earth with potholes the size of basketball courts and homeless people the size of blimps but add to that the fact that four lanes turn into one during the evening-dinner rush and I think Bloomberg's got enough reason to dump this dump into the East River.. there is no self-respecting Brooklynite who will miss it.