As if this place didn't bend you over enough

I'm convinced Ikea is designed to break the mentality of the American man. First they throw their Communist colors and architecture in your face but that's not the issue. I'm also not talking about the directions which at first seem simple but after 3 hours of putzing around with an Allen Wrench you have some up with some dresser shaped like something out of Stalingrad. I'm also not talking about the obstacle course you have to run through in order to return a simple item with lines like you see in Siberia for a loaf of bread.. What I'm also not referring to are those god-awful meatballs made from bison or that hormone infected salmon. I am not even referring to the cest-pool they disguise as the ball-house thing for the kids designed to kill our kids.
What makes this place impossible is that once they walk you through their rat-maze with their little paper measuring tape and red-square pencils measuring crap in centimeters and liters like the footsoldiers they expect you to be they get you to the last spot where you pick-up your Made in China furniture and now you realize your screwed like your getting ambushed by the Viet-Cong. See there is nothing in the showrooms which indicate whether something in the warehouse is old out. So you spend 4 hours picking up crap made of plank-board but when you come to pick it up they don't have them in your color or your style. so after you spent the good part of a morning shopping you leave empty handed, aggravated and with a serious stomach ache.

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