The cruelty of it

First time fatherhood does a lot for a man. He learns that things aren't all about him and puts his life decisions in perspective. The lack of sleep is easily outweighed by the smile of your daughter staring at you. The added benefits include weight loss from lack of alcohol only makes the experience that much more rewarding as you help shape the mind and values of a person. You give up on most of your social life, realizing how much more important this little person is than going out and getting shitfaced.
The difficulty lies in not sleeping enough and losing most rational thought. The serenity of a smiling baby is a cruel mockery when you realize it can turn into top-of-the-lungs screaming almost instantaneously. The young father adapts and learns little tricks to help coax his baby back to sleep through songs, gentle rocking and improvisation.
There have been a number of times when at 4 in the morning, a father gets desperate having tried all the tricks in his repertoire. He even considers taking his baby out in her stroller or baby carriage as the confined baby while moving is almost always happy and will fall asleep quickly.. As a veteran of parenting will tell you an even better solution is the automobile as babies will sleep almost immediately when a car starts moving. Maybe it's the humming of the engine or the comfort of the bumps but a baby will almost certainly konk out when driven around.
In my desperation last night I though about the extreme, knowing I had tried everything at my disposal. I considered bundling her up and going driving, burning gas for the sake of sanity.
But alas.. I had a really good parking spot earlier in the night which in Park Slope Brooklyn is like finding gold.

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