Thursday, September 17, 2015

Take on the second GOP debate

Here are a few things we learned after staying up way too late watching the second republican debate

Scott Walker has an incredibly asymmetrical face, his one eye sits up at 2 o'clock while the other sits down at 9 o'clock. It is very distracting

Ted Cruz. I wouldn't leave my daughter in a room with him, if I had a son I wouldn't leave him in a room with him either. this guy is a complete creep and has a Subway Jared feel to him

Jeb Bush. He seemed the same lifeless, passionless dweeb he always come across as. His marijuana admission gave him no traction, almost like he was trying to prove he was a cool kid when everybody knows that in high school guys like Trump gave him wedgies behind the lunchroom. At least his brother was probably a true cool kid with his coke induced trips.

Kasich. The guy is the only adult in the room although the entire time he looked like he had to take a leak. He couldn't stand up straight and his eyes were bloodshot, I'm afraid the best candidate might be dying in front our very eyes

Carli. Trump should have told her the truth, that her face looks like a Picasso. Can't wait for her to fire 30,000 Americans

Trump. His bravado was a bit tempered and he seems to be building some kind of budding friendship with Carson but he is still the star of the show

Carson. If Walker looks stoned, Jeb looks like he needs a 5-hour energy, Carson looks like he needs to be strapped on a gurney and given those heartattack shock pads. This guy speaks so slowly it makes my skin crawl

Christie. He should have said his code name would have been "cheeseburger". The dude is literally twice as wide as any other candidate although he did have a few moments and I love when he dukes it out with....

Rand Paul. He actually made some sense yesterday. He is right about ISIS, was right about Iraq and is 1000% right on marijuana. He is also probably 5'4" and has a shitty haircut.

Huckabee Save everybody some time and just go home

Rubio. He is so scripted it's like he is a cross between an elephant and a robot, one that needs a bottle of Poland Spring

1 comment:

Mr. R. Lee said...

Wait.

There was a second GOP debate?