The runs

Riddle me this Batman. You have the runs in China from some kind of fish-head soup or donkey meat and you are practically leaking out of your ass, you run into the closest men's room and you encounter this now what do you do?

Now I know there are a lot of parts of the world where the throne is a luxury they cannot afford but as a freedom having, McDonald's loving, porn watching, beer drinking red-blooded American a seat is not a luxury but a necessity.

Not only is there no seat but they apparently ask you to wipe using your sleeve which when your ass pisses goo isn't all that sanitary or convenient but then again who asked me?
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