Saturday, October 23, 2010

Chinese Checkers

I have been to China three times since 2008 and can tell you that there are three ways to define the country.

- the Chinese don't think short-term ever. I land at an airport in a city probably 500 miles from Beijing and the drive from the airport to the city is 1 hour by car, you drive past open fields, barren land and empty space. They build an airport where they think it will be convenient in 50 years. All that land will be factories making lead-paint covered toys for our obese kids. This foresight will be great in 5 decades when I'm in my 80's

- the Chinese will slurp and burp their entire way through dinner. It's like going to a concert of bodily noise. Every meal consists of 10 dishes served on a giant lazy suzy and the flavors range from exquisite to enema needing. Every meal ends with a fish, but as we are 24 hours by road from the nearest body of (clean) water you wonder if you are choking on a small bone or a piece of PVC pipe. .

- the blue sky is non existent instead every day is marked my some shade of gray. The hazards in a city like this include the game of frogger the pedestrians play and the game of speed racer the drivers play but also the fact that smoking is not necessary here as you can inhale enough carcinogens from making the mistake of breathing.

But all in all the place is great, hospitality is first rate and the food is never uninteresting.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

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