I run alone

I'm not a loner by any stretch but generally when I run I prefer to do it alone.    I'm not sure why but when you look out at your average park where people jog you'll see all kinds of combinations but you will almost never see groups of guys running together.    The most common group is usually a group of 2 or three women running together, I guess there is a camaraderie and you'll usually see the entire group chit-chatting most of the run.    For women half exercise and half social-hour which is strikingly differing that the way that dudes socialize which is generally sitting on a couch drinking bud-lites.  See guys almost never run in groups, it just doesn't happened.  Now I'm not sure if it's some kind of homophobic thing where dudes are afraid to see what would happened if they sweat, grunt and breath heavily next to another man, maybe they're afraid the pheromones will take over and the two of them will just end up doggy-styling it somewhere in the bushes but who knows.

The only time you'll see a guy run with anybody on a Saturday is when he's running with a woman who you KNOW is not tagging him.   Dudes will do anything for p*ssy including running at an uncomfortable pace with a chick trying to show that he can run and talk without getting winded

The point about this blog isn't about running actually it's about socializing when you are running.   A few weeks ago I got to talking to a woman who mentioned her husband used to be an avid runner and was trying to get back into it.    As she's talking about it, I get this dreaded feeling that comes over me, the fear that she's going to try to pair us up. 

 This summer was the first one in four years where I wasn't training for the marathon and in all the runs I made over those three summers be it a morning 4 miler or a Saturday 20 mile long-run, none of them were made with anybody else.   I like camaraderie, I like company I just don't like it when I'm working out mainly because I like to run at my own pace.   Now I will run occasionally with a buddy but it's few and far between and it's never longer than a few miles.   So if I'm running for time my fear is that either I'm going to hold somebody back or worse yet they are going to hold me back.  

BUT now all of a sudden this chick says that I should call her husband Larry so that we can run together, I kind of try to change the subject saying that my running schedule is really crazy and hope to leave it at that.   I ask how quickly he runs and she tells me that he runs about a 7.5 minute mile, I see this as the perfect opportunity and say that that's quite a bit faster than I usually go.

Two days pass and wouldn't you know it, all of a sudden I run into this girl with some dude who looks like the Philly Phanatic with a beard.   We all exchange pleasantries and go to our separate parts of the playground to hang with our kids, after about 20 minutes the Bearded Phanatic come waddling over

  Righetti:  Hey man, nice day right?

 Philly Phanatic:  Yeah, great

  Righetti:  catch that Jets preseason game?

  PF:   Yeah, Sanchez looks terrible

Righetti:  (just waiting for the inevitable)…yeah

PF:  (looking down) so I hear you run

We now have this uncomfortable discussion about running.  It's so obvious that his wife made this poor schlep come over and introduce himself, he probably wants to get back into running but I doubt he needs a running partner he just needs him to get out of his hair.  She probably figures that he doesn't get out a lot since they had the baby and that she's helping him.   Now I have nothing against this guy at all, he's probably a really good dude but it's just awkward when you get set up on a play-date when you are in your mid 30's.

We kind of  shoot-the-shit for 5 minutes and he says he's gotta go but not before

 

PF:  so I guess I should get your number of something

Righetti: yeah I guess so

I type his number into my phone knowing I'll never call it