Sunday, December 20, 2009

Secret Bodyworks

Unlike the office-romance which is a bad idea but at least has some positives, the office-secret santa is a bad idea and you get nothing positive out of it. The setup is always the same, the week after thanksgiving some chick from reception in the office comes around asking if your interested in one of the most horrendous Christmas traditions and you feel cornered and feel obliged to say yes..

Thank God it's a $20 limit so the damage is somewhat limited but the office SS is so horrible because you feel like your always strong-armed into it. You don't want to come across as the office grouch so relent knowing you are going to get stuck with an ugly sweater or some beer mug.

It's not that the idea behind the concept is terrible but in practice it always a disaster. You never know what the hell to get somebody and even if you do it's an office setting so you can't give the guy in the next cubicle a bag of porn because that wouldn't fly with HR.

So instead everybody gets everybody else some lame gift; the receptionist gets the Indian guy and buys him a wallet, the IT guy gets stuck with the dude in shipping and gets him an ice scraper while he gets the girl in accounting and gets her a collection of soaps from Bath and Bodyworks. Everybody spends $20 and nobody gets anything worthwhile.
The only thing you want to do is look like you gave a nice gift although you are completely aware that they will never be used.
The thing looks like a really nice gift which somebody spent time thinking about when you know it took 3 minutes to pick it out.

I'm convinced that Bath and BodyWorks' entire business plan is to prey on Christmas shoppers, it probably does 95% of it's business from December 15th to the 24th only staying afloat from office Secret Santa's and grab-bags because I don't think anybody has ever gone into that store to buy something for themselves

This year I hope somebody gives me $20 in my giftbag. I don't mean a $20 gift-card but instead a fresh $20 bill.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

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