Christmas time

So I made the mistake of going shopping in the busiest shop, during the busiest shopping season amongst the heaviest people squeezed into the smallest possible space.


For some reason it sounded like a grand idea to spend my lunch-hour at MACY*S which was about as much fun as doing a pipe-cleaning on my urethra. What amazes me is that there are people who are crazy enough to actually do this on a regular basis let alone actually enjoy it. I’m not one who usually feels claustrophobic but standing pressed up against another shopper’s ass-cheeks makes me feel like I’m standing at a bar on Christopher Street on a raging Friday Night

The stuff is all made in China by child-laborers, paid for on credit which only grows the trade imbalance, shipped across the world burning tons of CO2 into the air, stocked on shelves of corporations who keep their profits in tax-havens on some Island and then bought for by the American Consumer on credit-cards with 29.99% interest rates. So at the end of the day the child-laborers are taken advantage of, the atmosphere is ruined, the trade balance increases and only the banks are making any real money.

This is where the lunacy of it all, the American consumer has been convinced that the only way they can show their affection for their friends and family is to shower them with tons of made-in-china crap bought at Christmas Sale prices from Tuna-Can tight stores. I don’t mean to sound like Scrooge but what the hell is up with Christmas anyway, you never get stuff you really want, and you spend $1000’s of dollars on stuff nobody will ever use.

So this year instead of getting me anything, save your money and the child-laborers and send me a personalized text message