gatorade red

So after a 24 hour body cleanse which would make a colonic sound like a day at the beach, I feel like I'm getting my legs back under-me. Not sure what triggered it but there was something very wrong when you can't muster up enough energy to zipper your jeans. But after going through 24 hours of hell I must say that even the ass-puke, the fever, the hot-spells, the puking and the chills were nothing when compared to the Gatorade aftermath.
Everybody will tell you that you need electrolytes which although we are the most developed country in the world apparently can still only be found in Gatorade. I know the NBA and a few other leagues do their best to promote this stuff but it shocks me that anybody in their right mind could find this stuff appetizing as it is a completely vile concoction of food coloring a sugar. The marketing is genius because somehow they have convinced a generation not only that this is healthier than soda but more importantly that it tastes good .

But the biggest issue I have is not flavor or health based it's chemical based. What I can't figure out is what causes the remnants of gatorade I have left after drinking it for 24 hours straight. There is a layer of red pasted onto my teeth, my tongue's tastebuds have been covered over with a layer as thick as plastic and my lips feel like I've been putting on red-flavored lip-balm.
I'm not sure what part of the formulation does it but there is something in the Gatorade Red which bonds to human cells chemically because brushing, polishing or scrubbing can't seem to remove the two from one-another.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry